Kanye West’s Nightmare Video For “Famous” Got A Couple MTV VMA Nominations

The nominees for the 2016 MTV VMAs were announced earlier today. The bad news for Taylor Swift is that she got zero nominations. The good news for Taylor Swift is that two people she’s currently feuding with got nominations, which means her name will automatically get dragged into just about every conversation about the MTV VMAs on the internet today. Congratulations, Taylor!

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Amber Rose Analyzes Kanye Vs. Taylor Swift

Emoji mogul, Slut Walk founder, and now talk show host Amber Rose has something to say. Has she a talk show? Good on her! This clip (see below) didn’t irritate me. It’s because Amber’s ENORMOUS boobs transfixed me. They look like she’s yoked two feeding piglets. Those are some mammaries. Tits aside, Amber used her new VH-1 talk show as a platform from which to provide the earth with her take on the Kim and Kanye Kardashian-West vs. Taylor Swift situation. Did Amber attend the #KimExposedTaylorParty? Did she add a snake emoji to that deceptive Laura Ingalls Wilder impersonator’s Instagram? Kinda.

USWeekly reports that Amber, admitting that she’s not her ex MC Finger Puppet’s “biggest fan,” cited the 2009 VMAs “Ima let you finish“ incident as evidence that Kanye wouldn’t go in on Tay Tay again.

“It was just a very hard time for him,” she recalled. “I watched people say that they did not want to work with him anymore because of it. … I know that Kanye would never ever go through that again by not calling Taylor and say, ‘Heads up, I’m about to go write this verse real quick. Just wanted to make sure you’re cool with it,’” Rose said. “I know that about Kanye.”

However, Amber closed her Kuntye forum by bringing up her presence as a wax effigy in Yeezy’s video for “Famous“ and offering her ex and his Chinese finger trap ass some sage advice.

“So, I say all of that to say: Why didn’t I get a phone call for using a naked wax figure in your video, Kanye?” Rose said to the camera, referring to West’s controversial “Famous” music video, which features a bevy of famous faces naked in bed with the musician. “I mean, Taylor gets a call but I don’t get a call. … Please stay the f–k out of the news so I don’t need to talk about your ass anymore.”

Wiser words have NEVER been spoken. Make sure that applies to the WHOLE family, Yeezus.

Check out more pics of Amber Rose filming her show on Hollywood Blvd. on Wednesday below.

Pics: Splash

Leave It To Z LaLa To Bring The Magical Glamour To The VMAs

Former HSOTD, “world pop artist” and the white magic sorceress of style Z La La once again used her wizard powers to bring some much-needed sparkle to the MTV VMAs red carpet FLOR carpet. Z LaLa was a spectacular glittery flower in the middle of a field of dull weeds.

Z LaLa not only has a stage name like a Teletubby, but last night she looked like a Teletubby after getting stuck while trying to shape-shift into Lady Gaga. Z LaLa was perfection from the tippity top of her cone dildo wig to the bottom hem of her exploding Christmas ribbon dress. Someone needed to show up to that dreadful award show looking like a Conehead witch who works part-time as an emcee in a Cirque du Soleil show and thank god that Z LaLa was that someone.

Z LaLa strikes me as the kind of fashion icon who really commits to her look and goes all the way, so I’m sure the drapes match the carpet. If you lifted her dress, I’m sure you’d find a long cone of pubes hanging off of her crotch. Z LaLa is also pretty brave for wearing a long black dildo wig to an event where Kartrashians will be. I’m sure Z LaLa had security guards who kept the Kartrashians from trying to climb up her body to fuck her wig.

And one of my other favorite looks of the night came from Our Robotic Lady of Cheetos and her suffocating chichis:

Daddy Spears should give a raise to whoever is responsible for doing Brit Brit up like Double Trouble from She-Ra in the uniform she wears to serve cocktails at a 2-star casino in Reno.

And here’s 6,000 pictures from the VMAs carpet. You should just stop clicking when you get to Rebecca Black, because it doesn’t get more A-listery or relevant than her.

Pics: Wenn.com

Some People Aren’t Happy About Rebel Wilson’s Police Joke

And now in “You might want to avoid the internet for a while” news, some of the internet is apparently very upset that Rebel Wilson made a joke about the police while presenting the award for Best Hop Hop Video. Which…maybe might not have been the best idea, considering how many times the police made the news this past year. Anyway, she did it, and it went a little something like this.

“A lot of people have problems with the police. But I really hate police strippers. You guys know what I’m talking about. They come to your house, you think you’re getting arrested, and you just get a lap dance that is usually uninspired! I hired a police stripper for my grandmother’s 80th, and he wouldn’t even feel her up. Well I paid an extra $100 for her to get an erotic back massage, but it only lasted one song! I hate this injustice. Hence the shirt.”

So yeah, the joke was mostly about police strippers, particularly how she hates them. But still, it prompted a lot of people to call Rebel out for what they considered was not exactly the most tasteful of jokes. The Huffington Post and the Daily Mail have collected a bunch of the tweets, which came from a variety of people, including Black Lives Matter activist DeRay Mckesson. So far, Rebel hasn’t said anything about this mess, besides tweeting a pic of her ass next to Nicki Minaj’s ass.

There was so much offensive shit last night (Kanye being given a microphone, etc.) that I almost forgot about Rebel’s maybe-you-should-skip-this-one police joke. I didn’t, however forget the wrong shit she said about stripper cops. Excuse you, Rebel, but I have never seen a stripper cop who didn’t give it his all when reporting for booty.

Here’s Rebel before the show looking like a low budget Avril Lavigne.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

You Knew This Was Going To Happen: Miley Cyrus’ Nipple Made An Appearance At The VMAs Last Night

If Miley Cyrus hosts the MTV VMAs and her tit nub doesn’t pop out at least once, did she really host the MTV VMAs at all?

The least shocking moment of the VMAs happened when Miley’s nipple “accidentally” made a cameo appearance toward the end of the show. And by “accidentally” I mean that she rehearsed that accidental nip slip for 3 hours in a rehearsal studio in the Valley somewhere and in her earpiece, a stage manager was saying, “Standby nip slip… Nip slip go in 3..2…”

Many parents spent their entire night smearing burn cream all over the eyes of the innocent, delicate children whose retinas caught on fire from seeing Miley Cyrus’ devilry nipple. Everybody should’ve seen her tit slip coming, because she’s Miley Cyrus and nearly everything she wore during the show was leading up to that moment. Before going to a commercial break, Miley was backstage changing when she “accidentally” dropped the black curtain for a second and her tit came out to say hi. Gawker has a clip of it and I put the uncensored pic after the cut, because I know some of you dew drops don’t want your pure and virginal eyes tainted by the sight of a chipmunk lady nipple.

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Justin Timberlake Responds To Kanye Calling Him Out During His Vanguard Speech

One of the word nuggets Kanye West squeezed out during his next-level insane “I’m running for President in 2020” Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award speech last night was a tiny clump of stinky shade that you know he’s been saving for just such an occasion. While talking about…fuck, who even knows, Kanye aimed his ass over to Justin Timberlake’s direction and ripped a hot one about watching JT cry himself a river when he lost Album of the Year to the Dixie Chicks at the 2006 Grammy Awards. Yes, Kanye is that girl at a sleepover who looks at you during the bee scene in My Girl and loudly asks “Are you crying???”

“And bro, Justin, I ain’t trying to put you on blast, but I saw that man in tears, bro. You know, and I was thinking like, he deserved to win Album of the Year.”

Well, guess who didn’t appreciate being put “on blast” for his sad, salty tears? That’s right, Kanye’s bro Justin Timberlake. Shortly after Kanye outed him for crying over a stupid trophy, a butthurt Justin hopped on Twitter to swat back.

Kanye is so cute, y'all.

— Justin Timberlake (@jtimberlake) August 31, 2015

Eventually, Joey Fatone was able to calm Justin down by stroking his hair and whispering “I know, I know“, and Justin returned with some nicer words.

Jokes, you guys… Jokes. #chill

— Justin Timberlake (@jtimberlake) August 31, 2015

Btw… I JUST watched my man 'Ye's FULL speech… He always has a point. And I support it. #truth

— Justin Timberlake (@jtimberlake) August 31, 2015

Oooh, you know how I know he’s still a little mad? He called him “my man” and not “bro.” It’s okay, JT – let it out, buddy. Don’t be ashamed of those tears!

In the event you didn’t get enough of Kim Kardashian’s tits looking like a pair of TruckNutz in an elegant lace-up satin pouch, here’s Kim and Kanye leaving dinner after the VMAs last night.

Pics: Splash