Category: Virgins
The Woman Who Claims She Took Prince Harry’s Virginity Speaks Out
Did you hear the story of how Prince Harry lost his virginity to an older woman behind a pub in 2001? Oh, you didn’t. Well, then I guess you haven’t been keeping up with the daring tales found in Harry’s hit memoir Spare (a.k.a I got more where that came from, Will and Kate!). Amongst the stories of brotherly brawls and weird war boasting, there was the tender tale of how Harry lost it. Everyone speculated that the “older woman” was someone famous while others like Rupert Everett declared for some reason that Harry was lying about the details and he knows who Harry lost his V-Card to. We can finally rest easy because the mystery woman has come out! And she’s a digger driver and former stable girl named Sasha Walpole.
Demi Moore Says She Took Jon Cryer’s V-Card, But Jon Cryer Says It Isn’t So
Demi Moore let it all out in her memoir Inside Out, including putting ex-husband Ashton Kutcher on blast for being a manipulative cheating asshole slut. Demi even brought January Jones into it, but a name I didn’t see being dragged into the messiness is the name of Ashton Kutcher’s Three and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer. Demi claims in her book that when she was 22-ish, she snatched a 19-year-old-ish Jon Cryer’s V-card while filming 1984’s No Small Affair. I haven’t read her memoir, but I don’t think Demi tells us if Jon is working with a small affair or not. If she doesn’t, she cannot call herself a serious author.
Well, Jon Cryer wants us all to know that despite what Demi thinks or says, our boy Ducky was actually gettin’ lucky (sorry for that…) in high school. Jon fact-checked Demi on Twitter and said that he actually lost his virginity in high school.
Continue reading
The Jonas Brothers Regret Wearing Purity Rings
The world’s least dangerous band, the Jonas Brothers, is the subject an Amazon Prime documentary called Chasing Happiness which, as far as I can tell, is about 3 brothers from New Jersey who start a band and become very rich and famous despite the fact that only one of them looks like he knows how to fuck (Kevin don’t @me). In addition to the documentary, the threatened Jonas Brothers reunion is neigh, as is an album full of, I’m sure, Justin Timberlake rejected mid-tempo pop jams called Happiness Begins. For the first time since they broke up in 2013, Nick, Joe and the other one are all grown up, boo’d up, and opening up about what it was like being Disney’s bitch. Turns out they regret nothing. Well except for those purity rings.
Breaking News: Virgin Bachelor Thinks Period Panties Are Gross
For a man who I’m sure has spent the better part of his life being called Colton Underwear, TV’s The Bachelor Colton Underwear (ok, Underwood) doesn’t know very much about his namesake. Colton recently appeared on a show called LadyGang (it’s not nearly as cool as it sounds, they do NOT have matching satin jackets) and received the shock of his life when he learned that women generally don’t throw their panties out every time they get their period. Upon hearing about period panties, Colton showed his ass by screaming “that is so gross!” and inadvertently let every one know he shits his pants on the regular by comparing the two. Apparently this has pissed some people off, but why are they surprised? His name is COLTON UNDERWOOD.