Viola Davis, who won the Best Supporting Actress Golden Globe for Fences, presented Meryl Streep with the Cecil B. DeMille award at the GGs tonight and her introduction was some Tony Award-worthy shit. Viola delivered several layers of THEATER! I wondered how Meryl Streep herself was going to follow that up, and then she went up to the mic and snatched the road kill carcass on Donald Trump’s head without even saying his name.
Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.
Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.
It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.
Every year, there’s a little OUTRAGE!!! when actors and actresses get moved into different categories to up their chances of getting nominated and winning an Oscar. Some screamed “FRAUD!” last Oscar season when Alicia Vikander, who was the lead actress The Danish Girl, was put in the Best Supporting Actress category. That trick worked because she won. The Playlist says that Paramount is using that same trick to hopefully put an Oscar statue in Viola Davis’ hand.
When Anna Chlumsky came strolling up the red carpet of the Emmys last night in an ensemble Michael accurately described as looking very bed in a bag, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone in a set of deluxe full/queen sheets sashayed behind her. And that person was Kristen Bell. To be honest, I don’t know who hit the red carpet first, Kristen or Anna. It’s a real “Which came first, the sheets or the duvet” situation.
Regardless, Kristen is doing just as much for me as Anna’s look was. Maybe more, actually, because I’ve always loved a printed bed sheet. I don’t know if everyone did this, but when I was a kid, I used to make my bed with my sheets pattern-side-down. That way, when I made my bed and pulled back my comforter, you got a subtle hint of my elegant bed linens (ie. my Little Mermaid sheets). I felt so classy, like “I bet this is how Margo from Punky Brewster does her bed.” But while I love Kristen’s expensive floral sheet dress, I don’t know if many of us would want to sleep on it. I think I see beading, and I’m pretty sure none of us would want to roll over in the middle of the night and land cheek-first on a cluster of sharp glass beads.
Of course, the cherry on top of a formal bedding situation has got to be the useless satin runner that lives at the foot of the bed. Luckily, Sarah Hyland has got us covered.
As everyone knows from the stories and stories about highly esteemed thespian Jared Leto going full method to play The Joker in Suicide Squad, highly esteemed thespian Jared Leto went full method to play The Joker in Suicide Squad. Jared spent time with mental patients who had been institutionalized and tried to freak out his co-stars by sending them all sorts of *~OhSoCraZy~* presents like a live rat, bullets, a dead hog, butt beads, condoms full of cum, etc…etc… But well, a ton of reviews are out and some critics think that Jared beat a hog to death with cum-filled condoms (that’s how the hog died, right?) for NOTHING, because The Joker is hardly in Suicide Squad and he hardly comes close to topping Heath Ledger’s Joker.
Just remember: only six weeks until Suicide Squad is finally released and we can say goodbye to the endless reminders that Jared Leto is the most-committed method actor in the history of method acting. But until then, here’s another story about how Jared Leto’s crazy made people nervous on the set of Suicide Squad.
We already know that Jared Leto’s version of The Joker sounds like what you’d get if Mrs. Claus slipped some bath salts in Santa’s hot cocoa; he was constantly giving the cast fucked up presents, like a live rat, a dead pig, and used condoms. It really freaked his co-stars out including Viola Davis, who along with Will Smith, received a box of bullets from Jared. She admitted to E! News that “The Joker’s” gift scared her a bit and she almost pulled out pepper spray when meeting him the first time.
“It was a little worrisome. It made you a little bit nervous and I’m pretty tough. You know I got into a few fights when I was growing up…but it scared me a little bit. Before that I was only introduced to The Joker…and I almost had my pepper spray out. You know, ‘You remember that bullet you sent me?'”
In case you’re not familiar, The Joker became The Joker by falling into a vat of chemicals. So I bet Jared is still so pissed off that Viola didn’t spray a load in his face. “How rude. I had been begging the producers to administer real chemical burns for weeks. Like, was I not clear enough with the used condoms? I take this shit very seriously.”
Here’s Jared arriving at a Gucci show in Milan on Monday. Jared stopped filming Suicide Squad months ago, but apparently that hasn’t stopped him from once again dressing like Harley Quinn’s douchey half-brother, Ducati Quinn.
Pics: Warner Bros., Wenn.com