Category: Viola Davis

Open Post: Hosted By Viola Davis’ Juice Cleanse Fail

November 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Viola Davis was on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday night to promote Widows. She says that during filming, they had a makeup artist on set who encouraged everyone to take part in a 28-day cleanse. The only food they could consume had to be sipped, since chewing and sucking were forms of “aggression.” To be honest, aggressive sucking sounds like a whole lot of people’s idea of a good time, but apparently not for that makeup artist. Viola says she decided to participate, because she wanted to release her anger.

“This was going to be a game changer for me. We had to do it for 28 days. I lasted for two days. I was in the damn Jacuzzi one day and my niece called, and she pissed me off so damn bad…I went upstairs, ate a hamburger. Went to the drive through at McDonald’s. Couldn’t drink alcohol, had a big thing of vodka with soda water and lemon.

And the next day, [the makeup artist] was like, ‘Now Viola, how is it all going?’. I said, ‘I don’t have time for this. I need my anger, I’ve got a chip on my shoulder, I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder, and it works for me. Because if I don’t let this stuff out, I’m going to blow up.'”

Viola should have seen this one coming. If she didn’t mess around with the on-set shenanigans of Jared Leto, what makes her think she could deal with hunger for a month? Her response to that cleanse was the same as I had when I tried to do a week-long juice cleanse. I too managed two days, and drove myself straight to McDonald’s to eat three cheeseburgers in a parking lot. Hmmm…I think we just discovered McDonald’s newest potential marketing strategy.



Viola Davis Regrets Being In “The Help”

September 12, 2018 / Posted by:

If you’ve seen The Help, you already know that you is kind, you is smart, and you is important. And you have Viola Davis to thank for that affirmation. Well, sorry but she’d like to take it back. According to Variety, Viola told a TIFF panel that she regrets having taken the role of Aibileen Clark in the movie adaptation of the Kathryn Stockett novel of the same name. Welcome to the The Help is garbage club, Viola!

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Now For The Drama, Glamour, And WTF-ery Of The Oscars Red Carpet

March 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Note that I left out the word “mess,” as there’s no question that the messiest part of the red carpet was most likely the three square feet of space occupied by Ryan Seacrest.

If there was an award for red carpet fashion that makes you question a stylist’s sanity, Nicole Kidman would be that category’s Meryl Streep. Nicole arrived in an Armani Prive gown that does double duty. From the waist-up she’s very mascot of a sexy frozen fish company, and from the waist down I’m getting a reminder to please separate my  plastic recyclables from my paper.

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Viola Davis And Lupita Nyong’o Are Going To Play Mother And Daughter In A Movie

March 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Hollywood has finally come around to the idea of giving dark-skinned black actresses a shot. But we’re only allowed to have two at once and they have to be different ages! Luckily the Chosen Two, Lupita Nyong’o and Viola Davis are teaming up to play mother and daughter in the upcoming film titled The Woman King. According to Deadline, TWK is not another live action remake of The Lion King where Nala rips our Simba’s throat to take her rightful place on the throne, but it is a tale set in Africa. And it’s based on a true story.

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Angelina Jolie Decided To Fulfill Someone’s Feathered 60s Fantasy Last Night (And Other Looks From The Golden Globes)

January 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Almost everyone who walked the Golden Globes red carpet this year wore black to protest Hollywood’s sexual misconduct problem. One thing that wasn’t being protested was good taste. There were a lot of black velvet outfits on that red carpet. Sure, it’s a bit of an obvious choice, but a choice I was absolutely here for, because anything that makes my brain start blasting “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles gets two thumbs up from me.

But some people went a little more experimental with their all-black interpretation. Like Angelina Jolie, who showed up to the Golden Globes in some goth Lawrence Welk Show realness by Atelier Versace. It’s a little Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars, with a splash of 60s televangelist, all poured onto a fainting couch and garnished with, “But detective, I swear my husband was dead when I found him!

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The Fashion And Folly Of The American Music Awards

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.

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