Category: Vincent Kartheiser

When It Comes To Baby Birthing, Pete Campbell And Rory Gilmore Are The TV Eva Mendes And Ryan Gosling

May 19, 2016 / Posted by:

2016 IS the year of the secret baby! It makes me want to have a secret baby. But you know, if I did, it wouldn’t stay a secret that long. If a human baby with my DNA was born, CPS would immediately sniff them out and open up a file.

When Eva Mendes got knocked up with her second GosBaby, nobody found out until their child was almost ready to make an appearance. When Eva did birth out her and Ryan Gosling’s second daughter Amada Lee Gosling, we didn’t find out until about 2 weeks later. Well, 37-year-old Vincent Kartheiser and 34-year-old Alexis Bledel managed to outdo their asses in the secret baby department.

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Rory Gilmore And Pete Campbell Maybe Made A Baby

November 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Vincent Kartheiser (aka Pete Campbell from Mad Men) and Alexis Bledel (aka Rory Gilmore from The Gilmore Girls) got secret married last year and I haven’t been keeping up with my Pete Campbell and Rory Gilmore news, but I don’t think they really ever talked about their marriage to the press or whatever. So don’t expect to see their faces on the cover of InTouch Weekly under the words “Yes, It’s Confirmed, You’re Living In A World Where Pete Campbell Bareback Boned A Baby Into Rory Gilmore.”

A source tells Celebuzz that at the premiere of the National Geographic Channel movie, Saints &  Sinners, in Los Angeles last night (pictures below), Vincent told people that he’s going to be a father soon, because his wife’s got a Campbell/Gilmore baby growing in her body. Don’t tell anyone, though, because they want to keep it on the shush.

“They are expecting but they don’t want a lot of people to know. Only close friends and family know about the baby. He’s trying to keep it quiet. But he’s very happy about the news.”

I wonder if these two have ever done an DNA test, because they look like they can be brother and sister for real. And since these two are all about keeping secrets (rude, I know), I doubt we’ll ever see a picture of their baby friend, but I’m sure that baby will be an adorable giant blue eyeball.

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who reminded me that Vincent K once said he’s basically an anti-Duggar and doesn’t want kids for environmental reasons. So either Rory’s powerful love and coochie changed his mind or Celebuzz’s story is a lie.

And here’s more of Vincent K no longer looking like “Friar Tuck as a serial killer” since he can grow his hairline out now that Mad Men is over.


Pete Campbell And Rory Gilmore Got Secret Married In June

August 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Gossip Cop and Star Magazine say that the couple that random queefed up is now the married couple that random queefed up.

Star says that on June 7th, Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel got married at some fancy resort in Ojai, CA (probably the Ojai Valley Inn & Spa where EVERY celebrity gets married when the San Ysidro Ranch is booked) and on their wedding night they awkwardly fucked on the rug in their room as Emily Gilmore pounded on the door and screamed at Rory for not inviting her to the secret wedding. A source tells Star that Jon Hamm, the Hammaconda and Matthew Weiner were guests at Rory and Pete’s wedding and Rory wore a dress:

“Alexis looked breathtaking. She wore a floor-length gown, and her hair was up. Vincent wore a gray suit and teared up when Alexis walked down the aisle.”

A rep confirmed the wedding to Gossip Cop. Vincent and Alexis met when she played the married trick who has an affair with Pete Campbell on Mad Men. They got engaged last year.

Three things:

1. I really hope that Vincent had a shaved hairline on his wedding day, because if you’re going to marry Pete Campbell, you should only marry him when his hair looks like Friar Tuck with failed plugs.

2. Alexis married Vincent at a good time, because at least he has a toilet now and she doesn’t have to worry about shitting in a coffee can in the backyard.

3. May they have a hundred blinding white vampire alien babies with foreheads that go on forever.

The Look Or Not The Look: Pete Campbell’s Shaved Hairline

April 3, 2014 / Posted by:

No, Vincent Kartheiser wasn’t in the middle of being prepared for a lobotomy when an earthquake happened and the surgical team had to abort, drop the clippers and run out of the building. Rory Gilmore’s future husband (Wait, are those hos still engaged?) is a dedicated method actor who shaves his hairline back and gains some chunk to play It’s Pat’s equally as awkward son Pete Campbell on Mad Men. Dedication to your work IS making your hairline look like a Kardashian’s 5 o’clock butt stubble.

Vincent showed up to the premiere party for Mad Men’s 7th season looking like he got Dollar Tree hair plugs put it in at the same back alley plastic surgeon van where Lil Kim gets her baby dick nose shaved off. He looks like a derpy Friar Tuck which is saying a lot, because Friar Tuck is already at maximum derp. Vincent’s head looks like a factory-defected Chia Pet. There’s a method to his madness, though. Vincent told reporters a couple of years ago that he has always imagined Pete Campbell as having a receding hairline so he shaves his hairline, and after shooting is done he has to walk around looking like John Travolta in a shifted wig before his hairline grows back. Vincent probably thinks he’s the Daniel Day-Lewis of cable and deserves every Emmy for going all the way. But he needs to get over himself, because he’s not the greatest method actor of Mad Men. January Jones is!

January Jones never EVER gets out of character. When the cameras are on, she’s in character as Betty Draper. When the cameras turn off, she’s in character as Betty Draper. When she goes home after playing an ice cold queen all day, she stays in character. She stays in complete character when she’s smoking a cigarette while watching her kid poke at the half-frozen microwave dinner she didn’t cook all the way. She stays in character when her kid is crying and she rolls her eyes while turning up the TV louder to drown out his wails. She stays in complete character when she pisses out a piss popsicle into the toilet. January Jones was in character as Betty Draper before she was cast as Betty Draper and she’ll stay in character as Betty Draper for the rest of her life. So Vincent K and his method hairline shouldn’t feel so goddamn special.

Here’s more of the cast of Mad Men (including Christina Hendrick’s chichis and Jon Hamm sans the Hammaconda) at last night’s premiere party.


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