Category: Vince Vaughn
Vince Vaughn Made Headlines By Shaking Trump’s Hand
I’d say the sum of Vince Vaughn‘s cultural impact is that people feel compelled to add an obnoxious “baby!” when referencing Vegas. And I’d venture to say the majority of the “Vegas, baby!” population would most likely cite Zach Galifianakis or the cast of Jersey Shore as the inspiration, if they thought about it at all. What I’m saying is, in the year 2020 (or the 15 years preceding it), nobody’s really checking for Vince Vaughn. Yet, according to Newsweek, astonishingly, there’s been a recent uptick in interest in the comings and goings of True Detective season 2’s weakest link (a chain forged of crepe paper). We shouldn’t know that last night, Vince attended the College Football Playoff National Championship game in New Orleans, but we do. And we know this because he went out of his way to have a chat with Donald Trump. That’s it! That’s all it takes for Vince Vaughn to trend in 2020. Say what you will about Donald’s ability to govern, moral character, or lumpy body, but one simple fact remains – the power he wields is spectacular and alarming.
Vince Vaughn Got Arrested For A DUI
48-year-old Vince Vaughn is a guy who looks like he was born to take a shitty mug shot (and has). And yet, his second mug shot might be one of the least-messy DUI celebrity mugshots in the history of the medium. Some people get all the luck. Well, at least mugshot-wise. Otherwise, Vince Vaughn isn’t so lucky. TMZ says he was arrested for a DUI early Sunday morning.
Police say that around 12:30am on Sunday, Vince and a friend were stopped at a checkpoint in Manhattan Beach, CA. Both were asked to exit the vehicle, a request an uncooperative Vince initially declined.
Eventually police got Vince and his friend out of the car and he was arrested an hour later for misdemeanor DUI and obstructing an officer. His friend was arrested for obstruction and public intoxication. At about 4am they were both in jail. Vince and his unknown friend posted bail and have since been released.
This would be Vince Vaughn’s first time getting a DUI. TMZ doesn’t say who Vince’s passenger was, so let’s just say it was Owen Wilson, and they were on their way to their second wedding reception of the night. Don’t tell me almost-50 Vince Vaughn wouldn’t try to crash a wedding in a sloppy grey t-shirt and all-day sun damage.
Pic: Manhattan Beach Police Department
Okay, But Which One Of Them Is Going To Play Officer Sugar Tits?
Variety says that Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson are starring together in a movie about police brutality. You know, when you think of two actors who are capable of delicately handling a serious issue like police brutality, you automatically think of Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson. So this makes sense! And I bet Vince Vaughn is playing Officer Sugar Tits. Officer Goat Beard will spend most of the movie trying to resist the urge to get that azúcar by motorboating Officer Sugar Tits.
S. Craig Zahler (who wrote and directed Bone Tomahawk) is writing and directing this future shit show called Dragged Across Concrete. Sadly, I don’t think Mad Mel’s character is the one who gets dragged across concrete. Variety posted the plot summary and it is every kind of NOPE.
Gibson and Vaughn will play cops who are suspended when a video of their strong-arm tactics gets wide attention. They then descend into the criminal underworld to exact vengeance.
Vince was in Mad Mel’s Hacksaw Ridge, and the two also recently joined forces in hating Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes speech.
I haven’t checked yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this shit already has a Rotten Tomatoes page and a user named “GeorgeZimmerman” has already given it 5 stars.
In August, it was reported that Mad Mel is doing a movie with Sean Penn. Yesterday, I read that Mad Mel may do Daddy’s Home 2 with Marky Mark, And today brought this mess of a story. I’m afraid to open up my laptop tomorrow morning because I have a feeling there will be a story about how Mad Mel is starring in a movie that’s written by Woody Allen and directed by Roman Polanski.
Pic: Wenn.com
Add “Superhero Movies” And “Spandex” To The List Of Things That Mad Mel Hates
“Michael, if this is a post about Mad Mel, why did you use a picture of a homeless hobo who screams at the pigeons in the park and once got arrested for fucking a half-eaten hot dog bun he found in the trash?” – you
Mel Gibson’s “directorial comeback movie” Hacksaw Ridge screened at the Venice Film Festival over the weekend and the audience loved it so much that they gave it a 10 minute standing ovation. The producers must have installed retractable spikes in every seat, because that’s the only reason I can come up with for why those tricks didn’t sit down for 10 minutes! Or maybe the producers dangled exact rubber replicas of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda above the audience and they all spent 10 minutes trying to catch that goodness with their mouths? That must be it.
While promoting Hacksaw Ridge, Mel said that superhero movies aren’t his thing, which is funny since he looks like the Maestro Hulk. During a press conference at the Venice Film Festival, Mel said that the difference between real superheroes and comic book superheroes is that real superheroes don’t “wear Spandex.” Mad Mel continued to trash talk superhero movies (and Spandex) in a looooooooooooooooong interview with Deadline.
It Came From The Icy Lake….
Yesterday morning, Lake Michigan was filled with more shriveled-up dicks and frostbitten pussies than an orgy in an igloo when a bunch of brave bitches gladly froze their nipples off in the name of charity. The Chicago Tribune says that almost 5,000 people did the Polar Plunge into Lake Michigan in Chicago to raise money for the Special Olympics. They set a record yesterday by raising $1.5 million in just one day. Two of the people who risked pneumonia of the ass lips for charity were hot piece Taylor Kinney (no comment on his douchey back tattoo which belongs on the side of a van) and Lady Gaga who looked like Snow Miser in bad drag thanks to that frozen wig.
The Chicago Tribune said that the Special Olympics knew that Taylor, his Chicago Fire cast mates and Vince Vaughn were going to jump into that ice cold slushie, but they didn’t know that Lady CaCa was going to do it until minutes beforehand:
“She’s pure heart,” said Casey Hogan, president of Special Olympics Chicago and its fundraising arm Special Children’s Charities. “She came out for the cause — low-key, no press. It doesn’t get any better than that.”
The only reason to dip into icy waters is if it’s for charity, you’re getting paid thousands of dollars to do it, that necklace from Titanic is at the bottom or a topless Taylor Kinney grabs your hand and leads you into it. Below is video of the Polar Plunge. Keep a blow dryer nearby, because watching it may put icicles on your eyelashes.
All those people are cold, confused, wet and covered in ice…. Now they know how every baby who was pulled out of Nicole Kidman feels.
Oh, to be a paramedic in Chicago yesterday. As soon as Taylor Kinney came out of that icy lake, I’d grab his hand, push Gaga aside and tell him that his peen is in danger of catching hypothermia and I must save it by doing mouth-to-mouth while warming it up with my hands.
Pics: Getty, Splash/INF
Vince Vaughn And Colin Farrell Confirmed For True Detective Season 2
As expected, HBO announced that Colin Farrell, the dirty piece we’d all hit even though his man chowder is probably the consistency of chunky nose snot, will play a detective in the second season of True Detective. HBO also made the entire Internet do the slow wall slide of NOOOOOOOO by announcing that Vince Vaughn and his fried puffed potato face will also star. Vince Vaughn is a perfect casting decision, because the answers to all of life’s greatest mysteries cling to the hairy branches of the weeping willow hanging out of his nose.
Deadline says that HBO also announced that Justin Lin (he directed a few of those Fast & Furious movies) will direct the first 2 episodes which start shooting in L.A. this fall. HBO also queefed up this riveting and highly detailed plot synopsis:
“Three police officers and a career criminal must navigate a web of conspiracy in the aftermath of a murder.”
Colin will play, Ray Velcoro, one of the three cops who’s torn between a corrupt police department and the mobster who owns his ass. Vince Vaughn will play career criminal, Frank Semyon (I’m going to pronounce that SEMEN, FYI), who’s afraid of losing his empire when his move into legitimate business is ruined by the murder of a business partner. Deadline says that Taylor Kitsch is pretty much set for one of the other cop roles and the other cop role, a chick, is still being cast.
Last Thursday, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Biel (WHY?!!!!), Abigail Spencer, Malin Akerman, Oona Chaplin, Jaimie Alexander and Brit Marling all read for the female lead in front of series creator Nic Pizzolatto. Keira Knightley is also being considered for a role, apparently.
The first season of True Detective starred Woody the Bartender from Cheers and the star of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and everyone had their tongues stuck to that show’s b-hole, so maybe Vince Vaughn will surprise everyone! Just to be safe, the director should make Vince Vaughn shoot every scene while eating an ice cream, because Vince Vaughn sucking off an ice cream is non-stop entertainment.
And judging by the casting so far, I’m guessing that True Detective season 3 will star Kevin James, Hooch from Turner & Hooch and legendary crime solvers Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I wish.