Category: Vin Diesel
The Rock Responded To Vin Diesel’s Comments About Their Never-Ending Feud
While the Fast Family Franchise of Films may amount to little more than a blip on The Rock’s road to the White House, them shits have become Vin Diesel‘s entire raison d’flêxtre. Vin did not make the decision to cut all the sleeves off his entire wardrobe lightly. As evidenced by his recent comments on the 5-year-old feud between him and The Rock, Vin is deadly serious about his craft. Vin didn’t send a duck-taped Pontiac Fiero into outer space on a motherfucking whim, OK? Real space too, not some candy-ass suborbital circle jerk.
Well, The Rock read all about Vin’s version of events, which basically amounts to The Rock not taking his role as Luke Hobbs seriously enough, and had to laugh. What else was he supposed to do? This is the second ridiculous Fast Feud he’s been embroiled in since joining the franchise for 2011’s Fast Five. Is he supposed to take it seriously when he’s got more important things to do like memorizing the US Constitution in case it comes up on the Presidential Competency Test?
“F9” Had The Biggest Box Office Opening Since 2019
Not even John Cena‘s Taiwan controversy can stop people from watching fast cars defy physics in ways that make anyone with sense pull their hair out. F9 is the ninth entry in the Fast & the Furious franchise, and it is blowing out movie theatres at the same rate as Fleet has been blowing out assholes this Pride month. The movie has crossed $400 million in global ticket sales and in its opening weekend in the States made a whopping $70 million. Vin Diesel is going to eat well tonight! And every other night because he’s loaded, bitch.
Vin Diesel Offered A Few New Details About His Feud With The Rock
Don’t worry, Vin Diesel’s not so high on his own fumes that he’s deluded enough to compare himself to Federico Fellini in regards to his methods of pulling exquisitely realized performances out of his Fast And Furious co-stars. In fact, while updating us on his feud with co-star The Rock, Vin explicitly stated that his methods are “not Felliniesque,” but that he would “do anything [he’d] have to do in order to get performances in anything [he’s] producing.” If you want to call that being a “candyass,” as The Rock did, that’s your prerogative. But know this — there’s a method to the madness.
There’s A New Trailer For “Fast And Furious 9”
One of the most confusing things to me about movie trailers these days is the need to show everything that happens in the movie. Why am I watching it then? Enter: Fast And The Furious 9. The movie was pushed back, like everything else, because of coronavirus, but is coming out on June 25. It stars Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Helen Mirren, Charlize Theron, and John Cena who will play the villain brother of Vin and Jordana’s characters. The newest trailer is a whopping three minutes long and shows off so many car stunts I don’t know what the shit they have left. But it’s Fast and Furious and there are two more movies coming, so I’m sure they’ll think of more some gravity and velocity-defying nonsense.
The “Fast & Furious” Franchise Will Wrap Up After Two More Films
Deadline is reporting that the finish line is in sight for the Fast & Furious movies. After 20+ years and a billion pieces of shattered auto glass, the Fast franchise will be going out with a bang. And then another bang. And then an even bigger bang followed by some barely coherent mumbling then a maudlin mid-tempo rap song about the importance of family as the credits roll then a final “BANG!” followed by an epic gag reel for the ages. Mark. My. Words. With the 9th installment in post-production, Universal Pictures announced that there are only two additional Fast movies left on the horizon in which to solve the franchise’s central mystery— Who sharted? Yes, the entire franchise is about diarrhea, what did you think it was about? The cars are metaphors, dummies!
The Rock Is Forbes’ Highest Paid Actor For The Second Year In A Row
As you sit there preparing to tuck into a can of beans you heated up over a flaming barrel fire fueled with the last stick of a broken down dining room chair and a volume of out-of-date encyclopedias, try to remember— things could be worse. At least you have beans. Just not as many beans as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has. He earned $87.5 million dollars this year making him the highest-paid actor of 2020 according to Forbes.