The Rock must be especially pissed over this. He hates that candy-ass! Fast and Furious franchise star (and ham & cheese sculpture muse) Vin Diesel is 2017’s top grossing actor. The global take on his movies was $1.6 BILLION. 2017 must have been as awful a year as believed, because people worldwide obviously needed the distractions. We’re not talking Streep or Day-Lewis here. His best role is Groot, and Groot’s got one line and he’s CGI. Continue reading
But in Backdoor Farrah’s defense, she’d look like an embarrassing and desperate mess even if she didn’t show up to the MTV Movie & TV Awards in a costume found in the section marked “For Trashy Attention Whores Who Want Quick Attention” at the Haus of Cultural Appropriation.
When Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence’s Two Sexy Goofs in Space film, Passengers, came out last December, many hated it. One of the major reasons why people weren’t feeling Passengers was because they found Chris Pratt’s character to be a bit of a creepy stalker. Chris Pratt is surprised that people felt that way.
A lot of puffy pecs were reportedly in an uproar on the set of (I can barely type the awful name of this movie) The Fate Of The Furious last summer. The Rock vague-Instagrammed about someone being Public Asshole #1 on the set, and it was fairly obvious he was referencing fellow balding diva, Vin Diesel. Vin shot back by promising he would spill the tea on their roidy catfighting. That never really happened, but it doesn’t matter now, because it appears that both of them are past it.
There’s a billion reasons for why it’s a shit time to be alive (see: any “serious” news site of your choice for many examples of that), but there’s a big reason for why it’s a glorious time to be alive. We’re currently living in the golden age of masterful food sculptures of celebrities. Last week, a food artiste unveiled their own Mona Lisa, a sculpture of a knocked up Beyoncé made entirely of cheese. Bri-oncé! And also last week, an engineer and YouTuber from Ventura, CA created the David of the food sculpture world: a ham and cheese sandwich that looks like Vin Diesel. Well, I was hoping for a ham and beef sculpture of The Hammaconda, but I guess I’ll take this.
Vin Diesel recently did an interview with a Brazilian YouTuber named Carol Moreira to promote his latest 2-hour grunt fest, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage. Vin Diesel looks kind of like an anthropomorphic penis, which is entirely fitting, since he acted like a throbbing erection through most of the interview. Unfortunately, Vin was too boner blinded to realize that Carol the YouTuber wasn’t having it.