Much to the glee of any attendee not named THE QUEEN, all five Spice Girls will be at the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Much to the glee of one Posh Spice/Victoria Beckham, they will not have to turn on a microphone and belt out the hits. Although, when was her microphone ever on in the first place?? Continue reading
Victoria Beckham turned 44 yesterday, and she celebrated like any normal person would, with cake! Except since it’s Posh Spice, a woman who looks like she gets the heaves when she passes the butter in the grocery store, her version of cake isn’t actually cake.
Posh showed us a few years ago that her preferred delivery system for birthday wishes is with a plate of fruit. And it would appear not much has changed; Posh Instagrammed a video of her birthday celebration yesterday, and she’s still got fruit. Except some evil person played a trick on Posh by arranging the fruit into the shape of a cake. Also, please enjoy who is most likely Harper Beckham singing like a British child choir.
I’ve seen watermelon cakes before, which I refuse to acknowledge as a cake, because to me, fruit and Cool Whip is technically more of a cruel, food-based prank. So Posh can keep her plate of fruit. Although I doubt she kept much of it. It was a kind gesture, but it just looks too much like a cake still. Posh didn’t get that nickname for nothing; she thinks cake is for toddlers and unsophisticated tourists at the Times Square Applebee’s. But that’s not to say she didn’t indulge. I bet the bottom of that candle had some delicious watermelon juice on the end that she slurped off, before dabbing at the corners of her mouth and giggling at her own sheer gluttony.
Whenever you see or hear David Beckham and Victoria Beckham, it might be hard to imagine what dinner conversation between the two of them goes like since I doubt he knows much about Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses, and I doubt she cares much about soccer unless it entails him bailing out her fashion company. But that may not matter, as a new story says those two lead very different lives, and that’s the secret to a long marriage: barely seeing one another! Continue reading
The months-long back-and-forth between all five members of the Spice Girls about a reunion tour continues, captivating 13-year-old me’s extremely short attention span and the world alike. There’s been denials and supposed confirmations. Mel B is now claiming that she doesn’t have to say, “Say you’ll be there,” to Victoria Beckham because VB will definitely be there.
In today’s episode of As The Spices Sit, we get yet another update on what might possibly be in store for that Spice Girls reunion, and as for concrete plans, it’s a bit, ah…Bueller? Bueller? Mel C tells The Sun that Victoria Beckham was telling the truth when she said that there isn’t going to be a Spice Girls reunion tour, contrary to what TMZ keeps saying.
We all know the Spice Girls got together a few weeks ago to figure out how to squeeze a few Benjis out of their legion of fans who would rather spend their dollars and pounds to hear middle-aged ladies sing “Spice Up Your Life” in lieu of making a mortgage payment. Initially, it sounded like they were just going to hawk Spice Girls merchandise and make a few TV appearances, but then it looked like they were going to embark on a concert tour. Victoria Beckham tried to say there would be no tour, but now a new report says there is definitely a tour happening. Who is lying here?! Is Posh getting replaced with a mop, and everybody forgot to let her know?! Continue reading