Category: Valentne’s Day

Open Post: Hosted By Kraft’s Pink Candy-Flavored Mac And Cheese

January 27, 2021 / Posted by:

For some inexplicable reason, Kraft keeps trying to make itself synonymous with Valentine’s Day. Last year, they tried to suggest that Kraft dinner would be a great way to keep the kids occupied while busy parents got nasty. And this year for the holiday representing the market-share of True Love™ they’ve decided to release–checks notes–candy-flavored mac and cheese… So… for Valentine’s Day, you and your partner can have the prettiest pink diarrhea of your lives!

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Open Post: Hosted By Panera’s Double Bread Bowl For Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Panera Bread has a very special treat for lovers. Lovers of wet bread, and sharing said wet bread with your significant other wet bread lover, to be exact. For the next two weeks, Panera’s offering a Double Bread Bowl, which is a loaf of sourdough bread with two holes drilled into either end, ready for a hot soup injection, for $9.99 ( those dummies should have priced it at $6.99 or $9.69). You can share it with your lover, filling the cavities with your choice of “91 different soup and mac and cheese combinations”, according to Food and Wine. For a more personal touch, I guess you could also fill it up with your own thick and creamy concoction (gentlemen and squirters only).

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Open Post: Hosted By The Extinction Of Sweethearts This Valentine’s Day

January 24, 2019 / Posted by:

I don’t think I’ve heard news this devastating since McDonald’s stopped making the McDLT back in the 80s, but it’s true. Sweethearts, the original text message of the candy world, will not be making a return this year for Valentine’s Day. Now my only question is how will people know you love them if you don’t hand them out a chalky-tasting colored heart that reads: Wanna Do it?

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