It sounds like herpes isn’t the only thing Usher likes to pretend he doesn’t have.
Usher was being sued by a woman identified only as Jane Doe for allegedly exposing her to herpes. Eventually Jane Doe got tested, which resulted in a doctor opening the brown envelope and declaring “you ARE…going to need to get to the pharmacy with a prescription for Valtrex.” I don’t know if it happened exactly like that, but she did test positive for herpes. So she changed her lawsuit amount to $20 million and accused Usher of giving her herpes.
True story, Usher was my first L.A. celebrity sighting when I first moved back there at age 20(mumblemumbleohmygodhowamithisold). I was driving down Sunset Blvd and a flashy red convertible pulled up next to me at a red light and lo and behold, there was Usher, laughing and cavorting with some young lady, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. If I had a time machine, I would go back to that moment and holler “You in danger, girl!” I might have saved some Jane Doe from getting the herp!
Usher probably wraps himself in blankets at night and cries himself to sleep with the amount of “Let It Burn” jokes he’s been receiving since being accused of spreading his love in the form of The Herpes last month. And since last week’s intimate “see what had happened was” press conference held by one of his accusers Quantasia Sharpton (no relation to everyone’s favorite perm pioneer Al), Gushy Usher has been slapping at all the lies and propaganda painting him as a dirty-dick slingin’ man whore.
The bad press hole Usher currently finds himself in appears to have just gotten several feet deeper. Earlier this week, a woman named Quantasia Sharpton held a press conference with her lawyer, Lisa Bloom, accusing Usher and his allegedly leaky green boner of exposing her to (but not giving her) herpes after a post-concert sexual encounter. Several sources went to TMZ and laughed at Quantasia’s allegations, denying Usher would ever sleep with Quantasia because she’s “not his type.” TMZ says that a woman who works at the Days Inn where it allegedly all went down recently called them up and was like uh huh, sure Usher.
Over the past couple of weeks, Usher (sex alias: Papa Bear) has been in the middle of a herpes scandal that continues to grow bigger, grosser, and more green by the minute. And I’m not talking about Usher’s allegedly leaky green boner, either. We went from Usher settling with one past accuser for $1.1 million, to getting sued for $20 million for allegedly infecting another woman with Herpes Simplex 2, to three more alleged victims of Usher’s tainted dick threatening to sue for exposing them to the virus.
One of the women, Quantasia Sharpton, held a press conference with her lawyer Lisa Bloom earlier this week, claiming she didn’t have herpes, but was super pissed Usher’s unprotected dick exposed her to it. Usher isn’t singing “You remind me of a girl, that I, once gaveherpes toooo,” because Usher is telling friends he never slept with Quantasia.
Usher’s been swamped with bad press lately, and, for once, it’s not because he’s responsible for making Justin Bieber a thing. Gloria Allred is crying tears of joy, because her baby girl Lisa Bloom is corralling a group of plaintiffs in a good ol’ fashioned sex scandal.
Usher apparently wasn’t forthcoming with his love in ‘dis club, because a few former players in games of Usher-slap-‘n-tickle say his wiener wasn’t exactly pure. In fact, back in 2012, his knob was squirting green juice, and, no, it wasn’t Mountain Dew. It was supposedly herpes and I don’t think herpes causes peens to squirt green juice. Or so I’ve heard.
As herpes does, that shit came back, and now people are lawyering up (and, yes, I picked this photo, because I pored over that looking for lingering signs of the nasty shit). Continue reading