Usher probably wraps himself in blankets at night and cries himself to sleep with the amount of “Let It Burn” jokes he’s been receiving since being accused of spreading his love in the form of The Herpes last month. And since last week’s intimate “see what had happened was” press conference held by one of his accusers Quantasia Sharpton (no relation to everyone’s favorite perm pioneer Al), Gushy Usher has been slapping at all the lies and propaganda painting him as a dirty-dick slingin’ man whore.
The bad press hole Usher currently finds himself in appears to have just gotten several feet deeper. Earlier this week, a woman named Quantasia Sharpton held a press conference with her lawyer, Lisa Bloom, accusing Usher and his allegedly leaky green boner of exposing her to (but not giving her) herpes after a post-concert sexual encounter. Several sources went to TMZ and laughed at Quantasia’s allegations, denying Usher would ever sleep with Quantasia because she’s “not his type.” TMZ says that a woman who works at the Days Inn where it allegedly all went down recently called them up and was like uh huh, sure Usher.
Over the past couple of weeks, Usher (sex alias: Papa Bear) has been in the middle of a herpes scandal that continues to grow bigger, grosser, and more green by the minute. And I’m not talking about Usher’s allegedly leaky green boner, either. We went from Usher settling with one past accuser for $1.1 million, to getting sued for $20 million for allegedly infecting another woman with Herpes Simplex 2, to three more alleged victims of Usher’s tainted dick threatening to sue for exposing them to the virus.
One of the women, Quantasia Sharpton, held a press conference with her lawyer Lisa Bloom earlier this week, claiming she didn’t have herpes, but was super pissed Usher’s unprotected dick exposed her to it. Usher isn’t singing “You remind me of a girl, that I, once gaveherpes toooo,” because Usher is telling friends he never slept with Quantasia.
Usher’s been swamped with bad press lately, and, for once, it’s not because he’s responsible for making Justin Bieber a thing. Gloria Allred is crying tears of joy, because her baby girl Lisa Bloom is corralling a group of plaintiffs in a good ol’ fashioned sex scandal.
Usher apparently wasn’t forthcoming with his love in ‘dis club, because a few former players in games of Usher-slap-‘n-tickle say his wiener wasn’t exactly pure. In fact, back in 2012, his knob was squirting green juice, and, no, it wasn’t Mountain Dew. It was supposedly herpes and I don’t think herpes causes peens to squirt green juice. Or so I’ve heard.
As herpes does, that shit came back, and now people are lawyering up (and, yes, I picked this photo, because I pored over that looking for lingering signs of the nasty shit). Continue reading
Anyone who’s got something fiery in their pants, and I mean in the non-sexy way, should probably clue their prospective sex partner in on it. It’s thoughtful, shows that you’re an upright individual concerned with the health and safety of others, and should spare you any future legal action. This especially holds true if you’re a rich, horny celebrity.
Take Usher and his alleged Herpes Simplex 2 diagnosis, for example. He’s probably going to have to start direct depositing a portion of his paycheck to a “Herpes Pay-Off” account. There is already a woman suing him for $20 million for allegedly giving her the herp. Now, three more people are supposedly filing a lawsuit of their own. And in
not that salacious news, one of them is a man! They’re calling him “John Doe” which is nicer than just coming out and calling him “Justin Bieber.” I kid!
I hope Usher is putting a reminder in his phone not to forget to tell future sex partners he’s got herpes, because this situation is starting to get expensive for ol’ Papa Bear.