Ghislaine Maxwell’s Brother Shared A Photo That PROVES Prince Andrew Is Innocent Of Bath Time Footsies

When Johnnie Cochran asked his client OJ Simpson to stand up in court and try on that leather glove during his murder trial, Johnnie established an (allegedly) bullet-proof “volume formula” defense for (allegedly) getting away with murder. And although Prince Andrew hasn’t been charged with a single solitary crime, he’s apparently using his contacts on the inside (of prison) to deploy a similar strategy in an effort to free himself from the shackles of unpopularity. According to The Daily Beast, Andrew’s “dear friend” Ghislaine Maxwell has apparently gotten her brother, Ian Maxwell, involved in Andrew’s life-or-ego death struggle for vindication.

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Khloé Kardashian Has Addressed The “Unauthorized” Picture Of Her

Earlier this week, a picture of Khloé Kardashian was posted to Instagram and it showed a new side of Khloé because it showed what she actually looks like without all kinds of CGI, Photoshop, and filtered wizardry. It’s rumored that her grandma, MJ Houghton, posted the pic, which might explain how such a photo was able to slip past the family’s in-house reality distortion experts. Naturally (no pun intended), Khloé wanted that picture gone immediately. She first sent the family’s lawyers to get rid of the picture. Now she’s talking about it, and explaining why she really didn’t want that picture to see the light of day.

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People Are Not Impressed By Juergen Teller’s Latest Photos for W Magazine

The memes are flying since W Magazine published its annual Best Performances issue featuring photographs taken by world-renowned photographer Juergen Teller, who, even though his aesthetic hasn’t really changed much since the 90s, has been getting roasted on Twitter for his crimes against glamour. But even though my arts education consists of one art history class taken at Laney Jr. College (B-, thank you very much. I know my columns), even I can tell that not just any asshole with an iPhone can be a great photographer. It takes a real visionary like Juergen to talk Robin Wright into squatting behind a tree in broad daylight. I mean, he did refuse to photograph Miley Cyrus so we know he has taste!

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Kourtney Kardashian Broke With Family Protocol And Took A Photo With Visible Stretch Marks

I’m assuming that a meeting between the Kardashians and their social media editing team involves them looking at a picture for ten minutes, taking out a red marker, circling their entire body, and saying, “Airbrush all of this until it looks like a character from a Pixar movie about a sexy alien.” Recently, Kourtney Kardashian suffered some kind of Kardashian-Jenner body image programming malfunction, because she posted a picture to Instagram with her stretch marks showing.

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Lena Dunham Is Sorry For Accusing A Spanish Magazine Of Photoshopping Her Body

If you’re looking at that picture above and wondering why a magazine is trying to pass off an awkward preteen squirrel as Lena Dunham, you’re not alone. Lena Dunham herself did the same thing. Lena posted a picture on Instagram of the cover of the March issue of El País’ Tentaciones, a Spanish magazine I assumed was about sensual octopi but isn’t (I checked), and slapped at them for de-Lena’ing her body.

“Oh hello El Pais! I am genuinely honored to be on your cover and so happy you licensed a pic by @ruvenafanador, who always makes me feel gorgeous. BUT this is NOT what my body has ever looked like or will ever look like – the magazine has done more than the average photoshop. So if you’re into what I do, why not be honest with your readers? Much love, Lena.”

Shortly after Lena called them out, Tentaciones hissed back, saying they never do any retouching and that’s what the picture looked like when they licensed it. That picture of Lena is from a three-year-old issue of Entertainment Weekly, and according to Tentaciones, the only editing they did was crop the bottom of her legs out. Lena crawled back to Instagram and posted a picture of the uncropped image with an apology.

Hey Tentaciones- thank you for sending the uncropped image (note to the confused: not unretouched, uncropped!) and for being so good natured about my request for accuracy. I understand that a whole bunch of people approved this photo before it got to you- and why wouldn't they? I look great. But it's a weird feeling to see a photo and not know if it's your own body anymore (and I'm pretty sure that will never be my thigh width but I honestly can't tell what's been slimmed and what hasn't.) I'm not blaming anyone (y'know, except society at large.) I have a long and complicated history with retouching. I wanna live in this wild world and play the game and get my work seen, and I also want to be honest about who I am and what I stand for. Maybe it's turning 30. Maybe it's seeing my candidate of choice get bashed as much for having a normal woman's body as she is for her policies. Maybe it's getting sick and realizing ALL that matters is that this body work, not that it be milky white and slim. But I want something different now. Thanks for helping me figure that out and sorry to make you the problem, you cool Spanish magazine you. Time to get to the bottom of this in a bigger way. Time to walk the talk. With endless love, Lena PS I'd love the Tentaciones subscription I was offered!

A photo posted by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on Mar 1, 2016 at 8:40am PST

Somewhere on a tour bus, a confused Hillary Clinton is like “The fuck she drag me into this for?”

I can sort of understand where Lena is coming from. Except instead of “There’s no way I’m that skinny“, it’s “There’s no way I’m that fat.” Which is usually followed by “Yes, I see that it’s a picture of me dipping chicken nuggets into a red solo cup filled with cake frosting, but there’s no way that’s my body. Someone has clearly Photoshopped that picture.”

Pic: Lena Dunham Instagram

RIP The Internet: Unretouched Pictures Of Beyonce Have Leaked

*The Beygency got us! Pics removed by request.

You better download as much free porn as you can before the all-powerful Beyonce calls up Al Gore and tells him to pull the plug and shut down the entire Internet, because SANS PHOTOSHOP pictures of her face are out there. The Internet was good while it lasted, but we dun goofed.

The Daily Mail says that yesterday, over 200 raw pictures of Beyonce were posted onto The Beyonce World fansite, but after the Beyhive sharpened their stingers and stabbed at the site for doing their god wrong, the pictures were taken down. The Beyonce World queefed up a statement saying that they released the pictures to show the world how naturally gorgeous their holy king is, but chose to delete them after the fans went crazy (and they probably didn’t want to wake up with shredded wigs at the bottom of their bed ala The Godfather).

Due to the disdain of the BeyHive, we have removed the photos. We don’t want to cause any drama, nor do we wish to start fan wars. Some of the things we have seen posted were just horrible, and we don’t want any parts of it. We were just posting the photos to share the fact that our queen is naturally beautiful, at the same time she is just a regular woman.

The Beyonce World call themselves a fansite? First, they scatter around hundreds of unretouched pictures of Beyonce and then they insult her by calling her “just a regular woman”? They better recite the Act of Beytrition (aka the lyrics to Yonce) over and over again until Beyonce forgives them.

Even though The Beyonce World erased the pictures from their site, many including these from L’Oréal’s 2013 Feria and Infallible campaigns, were saved and passed around on Twitter.

I was joking about Beyonce pulling the plug on the Internet as punishment for doing this to her, because I think she IS the leak. When I put my Detective La Toya brand magnifying glass up to these pictures, I can clearly see that they’re overly Photoshopped to make her look human and like one of us. Team Beyonce obviously leaked these pictures to make us believe that her skin is capable of growing human pimples and wrinkles. They want us to think that she’s just a regular mere mortal who doesn’t have flawless skin as smooth as a baby angel’s taint. Nice try, Beyonce.