Category: Twitter Drivel

Benedict Cumberbatch Has No Interest In Joining Social Media

October 28, 2016 / Posted by:

As of right now, the closest a Cumberbitch can come (ew, truly poor word choice) to making contact with Benedict Cumberbatch is a fan letter sent opened by his assistant containing a poem about his beautiful beady eyes written in ink mixed with their own cooch juices. If Benedict Cumberbatch has his way, it’s going to stay like that.

Benedict isn’t on Instagram and he’s not on Twitter, and he recently told People he has no plans on joining because he doesn’t want to become consumed by something so “toxic.” He wants nothing to do with that social media lifestyle. Somewhere the Kardashians just recoiled in horror at the thought.

“I can’t get involved in social media because as they know, it’d be a disaster. I can’t tweet to save my life. I’d go over my character limits and never make any sense. It would just consume me and I find that whole thing ultimately very toxic. I’d much rather spend my energy doing what brought me to their attention in the first place, which is my work.”

Benedict’s kind of right, because his social media experience would be different than most. If he joined Instagram, his eyes would be consumed with trying to delete the thousands upon thousands of comments from Cumberbitches begging him to leave his fake family for them and desperate pleas to “PLEASE FOLLOW ME BACK, DADDY SHERLOCK!!“. But he shouldn’t worry about the Twitter thing. No matter how little sense he made, his tweets wouldn’t be anywhere near as incoherent as those of the reigning celebrity 140-character queen, Demi Lovato.

Here’s Benedict and Tilda Swinton looking like an uptight principal and her easy-going vice principal while promoting Doctor Strange at Soho House in Berlin a few days ago.

Pics: Wenn.com

Kanye West Went After A Music Critic On Twitter, Drags His Kids Into It

February 24, 2016 / Posted by:

So much for swearing up and down that you’ll keep other people’s children out of your angry Twitter tantrums.

When Kanye West released The Life of Pablo to the world, he probably assumed that people would love it so much that he’d open his front door one morning and find all of humanity gathered together, with joyful tears streaming down their faces, waiting to kiss his ass (or throw in a finger, Kanye’s choice).

Some people did really like it. And some people didn’t. One such person was a music producer named Bob Ezrin. Bob had some things to say about TLOP and Kanye’s kurrent behavior for the Lefsetz Letter (via UsWeekly), and it was pretty much the opposite of what Kanye wanted to read.

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Farrah Abraham And Nicki Minaj Dragged Each Other All Over Twitter Yesterday

January 11, 2016 / Posted by:

Warning: If you’re the type of person who is prone to getting headaches that are triggered by a puppet-looking rapper and a puppet-looking (insert whatever Farrah’s job title is) screaming at each other on Twitter, then you might want to go grab a whole handful of extra-strength ibuprofens before you continue to read any further.

Today’s “Jesus Take The Twitter” moment begins with Nicki Minaj. According to TMZ, Nicki decided to shit on Farrah Abraham’s parenting skills after watching an episode of Teen Mom. But rather than do it with her friends in a group text that ends with everyone receiving a picture of Farrah’s plastic IKEA funnel boobs (like the rest of us), Nicki did it on Twitter.
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Russell Crowe Got Into A Twitter Fight With Virgin Airlines Over A Hoverboard

December 29, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, now we know there’s at least one Christmas hoverboard out there that didn’t end up confiscated by an ER nurse or slowly melting into a flaming pile of motorized plastic.

Because hoverboards (which don’t actually hover, but WHATEVER) were this year’s Tickle Me Elmo or Totally Hair Barbie, the internet was filled with people bragging that Santa brought them Segue’s less-dorky cousin. Of course, that means there are also some people out there who woke up Christmas morning and found a knock-off hoverboard-style GlidePlank under their tree. (As someone who got Gobots in their stocking, I feel you). Anyway, all that matters is that Russell Crowe’s sons Tennyson and Charles are members of the hoverboard club, and Russell got all Russell Crowe-y when he found out that you can’t bring that shit on an airplane.

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One Of The Dudes From 5 Seconds Of Summer Hurt Justin Bieber’s Feelings During A Rolling Stone Interview

December 27, 2015 / Posted by:

For those of you staring at this picture and wondering “For why am I looking at an off-brand Sum 41 in low-budget Dixie Chicks drag?” or looking at the second-from-the-left dude and thinking “I didn’t know Liam McPoyle had a son who was in a band“, it’s actually a band called 5 Seconds of Summer. You know, the current favorite band of your niece who asked for a Hot Topic gift card and a tub of Manic Panic hair dye for Christmas.

Anyway, 5SOS recently did an interview with Rolling Stone, during which their guitarist, Michael Clifford (the Chuckie Finster looking one that Chanel #5 wrote a breakup song about last year), spread his ass cheeks and squeaked out a stinky teen boy fart on Justin Bieber. I wasn’t aware that 5SOS had a problem with Justin Bieber, but 5SOS is trying really hard to be hard (see: their whole Rolling Stone interview) and nothing says “badass” like the baddest boy in your boy band throwing a pinch of shade at the current hardest toddler on the daycare playground.

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Ashley Judd Is Pressing Charges Against Trolls Who Came For Her On Twitter

March 17, 2015 / Posted by:

I feel like “Ashley Judd fights back” is also the way you could describe the plot of 97% of the movies on Ashley Judd’s IMDB page. But Ashley Judd is fighting back for real this time! Clear your schedule, Tommy Lee Jones, you might be needed. During an upcoming interview for Weekend Today, Ashley Judd confessed that she was recently the victim of online Twitter trolls and she’s getting the police involved, because nobody fucks with Ashley Judd.

Ashley says it all started last weekend when she was live tweeting a Kentucky Wildcats game. Ashley took a swipe at the Arkansas Razorbacks by tweeting (and later deleting) “I think Arkansas is playing dirty”. That apparently was enough to piss off some Arkansas fans, who then responded by tweeting violent threats at her:

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