Tall drink of attention-seeking Khloé Kardashian and her slutty baby daddy Tristan Thompson were supposedly making a go of it despite Tristan regularly trolling for ass (and getting it) on Instagram. According to Us Weekly, that worked about as well as the placebos with which Pimp Mama Kris obviously switches out for son-in-law Kanye West’s real meds. The couple is supposedly “fighting constantly.” The Royal Wedding stole the attention from all of us, Khloé. You can power down on making sure everyone knows you’re still alive by using a voice filter to ring up the tabs with exclusives. Just give it another week and you and the rest of your nightmare family will be back on top of the “LOOK AT ME” pile.
The imposing-looking Kardashian looks to be hanging in there with Tristan Thompson aka the cheatin’ father of her 23-day-old baby True. Despite reports that Khloé Kardashian wasn’t even opening her flotation device lips to deign to speak words to her low down, dirty, Instagram ho-procurin’ boyfriend, the couple were spotted out for lunch together on Friday according to TMZ. Look, you can’t have “A Very Special Episode” of what I assume will be called True Life: Khloé and Tristan Sort Of Raise A Baby For Social Media Clicks without a reconciliation in the last ten minutes. Never let it be said that the satanic beings at E! don’t know how to give you a story arc.
When Tristan Thompson got caught cheating on Khloé Kardashian two weeks ago, the other woman in question was reportedly an Instagram model. That shouldn’t come as a surprise. A source tells UsWeekly that when Tristan wanted to engage in extracurricular hook-ups, he employed the age-old sleazeball method of sliding into DMs. And what kind of girls is he going for? Let’s just say it’s not an accident he ended up with a Kardashian with a stress ball ass.
“Tristan slides into girls’ DMs,” a source tells Us. “He messages girls that way, on Instagram, and then meets up with them. He likes exotic or non-American-looking girls with big butts.”
After Tristan’s dirty dog antics were revealed, one source claimed that Khloé was willing to forgive him because the women were just “stupid groupies.” Except now we know that there’s a chance they weren’t just evil tramps waiting outside the locker room after the game. Tristan was the one doing the courting. How very polite and Canadian of him, approaching those women and asking them if they’d accompany him on a date. I wonder if he also included a rose emoji with his eggplant?
So not only did he get caught cheating, he also allegedly cheated using the Kardashian family’s favorite attention-whoring platform. But does it even matter? According to UsWeekly, Tristan is “incredibly remorseful,” and Khloé might drop her guard and invite him back into her life, because she loves him “unconditionally.” There should be one condition: that Tristan trades in his iPhone for an old Nokia 3310. If Tristan really wants to get laid on the sly, he’s got to put in the work with 20 minutes of annoyingly slow T9 texting first.
When last we checked in on the situation between Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson, the cheating father of her week-old daughter True, sources said that any united front was a lie and they weren’t even on speaking terms. There might be a good reason for why they can’t muster a chilly “Good morning” to each other at the breakfast table. According to People, they’re not living in the same house.
Based on the testimony provided by all of the sources that crawled out of the woodwork last week, it seemed as though Khloé Kardashian’s new baby girl, True, had fully strengthened the bond between her mommy and cheater daddy, Tristan Thompson. According to TMZ, that would be…false. Much like the seams on the back of Khloé’s pants, her relationship with Tristan is barely hanging on by a thread.
When Khloé announced the name of her daughter yesterday, she said that True had “stolen our hearts,” adding “we are overwhelmed with love.” Khloé may have name-dropped Tristan, but according to sources that spoke with TMZ, that’s about as close as she’s gotten to him.
Khloé has not spoken to Tristan for several days because she’s still furious after finding out he repeatedly cheated on her, and embarrassed her in the process.
Khloé is still in Cleveland at Tristan’s house, but only because all the baby stuff is there. Once a doctor clears her to fly, she’s going back to L.A. Tristan is also at the house, and sources say they haven’t been alone together since leaving the hospital. That could have something to do with Kris Jenner, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian all having flown out to see Khloé.
Despite allowing him to be in the delivery room last week and all the rumors that she had fully forgiven Tristan for cheating, she is nowhere close to forgiving him. And neither is her family. According to TMZ, everyone is pissed at Tristan, including Rob Kardashian, who is allegedly “raging.” Rob, it’s okay, but you don’t have to be jealous. I promise, it’s only a matter of time before you’re the Kardashian with the messiest co-parenting situation once again.
It looks like the only true thing that Khloe Kartrashian will ever get out of Tristan Thompson is a living Instagram pic accessory (that’s Kartrashian for “child“.)
Because Khlozilla is so “hood,” I fully expected her to name her 4-day-old daughter Kompton Kardashian. But instead of doing that, she brought on endless jokes by naming her poor baby True Thompson. I guess ISwearTristanThompsonIsntCheatingTrash Thompson didn’t fit on the birth certificate. The baby’s name might be True, but baby’s daddy is far fucking from it. The kid’s nickname should be “Wishful Thinking,” because True is something that Tristan will never be to Khlozilla.
Tru Davies better call a lawyer.
Not only is Khloe’s baby the only True thing between her and her wandering dick-having cheating slut of a man, but that baby is also the only True thing in the Kartrashian family.
When all the shit came out about Tristan Thompson’s dick paying a visit to every cooch that wasn’t attached to his latest pregnant girlfriend, I thought it was all part of Pimp Mama Kris’ diabolical plan to oust him from the family so that her newest little cooing ATM would get the last name Kardashian. But I was wrong. Besides, Khloe couldn’t name her daughter True if she gave True the last name Kardashian. It would be impossible. I mean, every time you type the words “True” and “Kardashian” next to each other, it automatically auto-corrects to False Kardashian since there’s nothing true about the koven.
UPDATE: Pimp Mama Kris claims that “True” is a family name, but since it came from the mouth of PMK, I’m going to say that this fun fact is a false fact!
I’m so excited to welcome my precious little granddaughter True!!! FUN FACT… my Grandfather’s name on my Dad’s side was True Otis Houghton….my real Dad’s name was Robert True Houghton…so i am so excited Khloe named her daughter True!!! #lovebug #familytradition #family pic.twitter.com/MFheCTYnb6
— Kris Jenner (@KrisJenner) April 16, 2018