Just when you thought the Kardashian/Jenner Koven couldn’t get anymore tacky they go and take this group photo. There is so much going on here like:
– Kris Jenner‘s beat-down, platinum Kate Gosselin-meets-Gwen Stefani wig.
– Her boyfriend Corey Gamble‘s limp-dick-ballsack bowtie version of the vibrant pussy-bow.
– Kim Kardashian West‘s wet-looking gold-lamé+tinsel, half-mermaid Saran-wrap look.
– Kanye West fully falling asleep behind them.
– Kendall Jenner‘s singular slicked-down middle part with a dark-twist/crown of orange feathers.
– Kylie Jenner‘s chambermaid’s sexy nightie and matching synthetic lilac wig straight from MapOfBeauty.
– Travis Scott‘s “we get it you’re straight so you don’t know what a goddamn theme is” half-assed attempt at looking like a well-dressed G.I. Joe action figure.
This is a mess, but what else would we expect?
Back in March, the Koven tried floating around another cheating storyline for Keeping Up The Korrosion Of Decent Society. This one featured new favorite, Kylie Jenner and her man Travis Scott. It was rumored that Travis was stepping to the side with a chick and Kylie had found “evidence” on his phone. The plot line turned out to be a whole lotta nothing. Kris Jenner doesn’t like when her plans fizzle, so there’s another cheating rumor coming up, but this one is being fueled by the alleged side-chick herself.
“Self-made” billionaires can afford all sorts of stupid shit. So Kylie Jenner taking out a billboard to wish Travis Scott, her “husband” (her word) and father of her baby, a happy 28th birthday is nothing. This is like buying a stamp at the post office for her.
Remember how at the beginning of the month Pimp Mama and Demon Queen extraordinaire, Kris Jenner, teased Kylie Jenner‘s upcoming subplot on Keeping Up The Clock Ticking Down To The Apocalypse With The Kardashians when it was reported that Travis Scott was maybe cheating? Well honey, that storyline might have made it all the way from subplot to main stage, as sources are still whispering their demonic songs to TMZ who will listen to anyone with tea to spill on spawn from the hell-dimension. AKA: The Kardashians.
Someone please pass me a can of Raid so I can spray this story until it’s dead and gone for good. Because every time I hear about Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott‘s uninteresting “cheating scandal” I want to call the cops on them and have them locked away forever for wasting everyone’s time with this manufactured mess. Apparently, the “evidence” that Kylie found, which brought this substandard subplot into our lives, is the reason why Travis deleted his Instagram in the first place. Some thirsty THOTs slid into his DMs, and although he never showed his gratitude by sliding something into them, Kylie became so angered she was ready to throw their whole relationship into the trash (next to this storyline please). Well, that time is over now and things are so much better that Travis has re-activated his Instagram page.
The congealed, leftover Kraft Mac and Cheese storyline that is Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner‘s “cheating scandal” must be hard to sell to the fans because nobody really cares. True, the main course of the Kartrashian koven’s upcoming season lies within the drama between Khloe Kardashian, Kylie’s former guest house tenant Jordyn Woods, and dealer of disruptive dick Tristan Thompson. However, while that drama continues to heat up like a pot of greens Kylie’s is bland potato salad spoiling on the window sill. However, Travis has been making his rounds to keep people interested.