Homewrecking legend Miranda Lambert struck again earlier this year when she threw her iconic sledgehammer cooze at the married dick belonging to Evan Felcher (it’s Felker, but Felcher fits better in this case) whose band Turnpike Troubadours was the opening act on a few of her tour dates. Before Evan went out on tour with Miranda, his wife Staci Felker said that their marriage was mostly mylar heart balloons and strawberry-scented rainbow burps, so she was totally blindsided when he eventually became Casper The Cunty Ghost by ghosting her and then filing for divorce. I’m sure Miranda will talk about all of this while once again accepting her Homewrecker of the Year award at the League of Extraordinary Homewreckers’ annual luncheon, but so far she hasn’t said much. But Staci is still talking, and yesterday she posted a tragic tale on Instagram about Evan pulling an asshole-ified “touch me in the morning and then just walk away” move by sweeping into her life before exiting again a week later.
Here’s some Donald Trump news, but don’t worry: this is the least-worst Donald Trump news you can be getting. No one’s human rights are being taken away, so that automatically makes this top-5 in terms of best news stories about him.
CNN reports that Trump will likely make Americana a focus of the coming redesign of Air Force One. Trump is apparently sick of what he calls the “Jackie Kennedy color” of Air Force One. The John F. Kennedy administration is the last time Air Force One got a redesign. Trump wants to add red to the current blue and white design. They have a source who says the Donald “is deeply involved in the conversation about a redesign of the aircraft“.
ScarJo… ScarJo… ScarJo…
It hasn’t even been a year since Scarlett Johansson had to shart up a bullshit response after she got dragged to and fro for whitewashing the lead role in Ghost in the Shell, a cinematic turd that caused a giant splash in the toilet bowl of box office bombs by flopping hard. ScarJo’s kink must be to piss people off with her role choices, because the Queen of Cinematic Appropriation is back at it. ScarJo has made a decision that’s almost as bad as her decision to continue to get her hair cut like Laura Bush if Laura Bush got a haircut from a drugged-up raccoon with arthritis.
ScarJo and her partner in pissing people off, Rupert Sanders, who directed Ghost in the Shell, are teaming up again for a story about a trans man. ScarJo is playing the trans man, and after getting dingles thrown at her for that decision, she decided it would be a very good idea to catch those dingles, set them on fire and throw them back.
I’ve always said that you can never trust a grown bitch who wears the devil’s hooves known as CROCS out in public. And look at what we have here.
Last year, the slimy brother of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons stepped away from his show The Chew and his restaurants after several women accused him of not being able to keep his greasy paws to himself. Some of those allegations (and more) found their way to the NYPD and now an investigation has started. Um, Mario Batali should’ve been eating cardboard and toilet sauce pizza on Death Row years ago for murdering retinas with those hideous CROCS, but better late than never I guess…
Back in July, Kitty Jones, an ex-girlfriend of R. Kelly‘s, spoke to press about life at the Kelly compound. Kitty Jones spoke in support of the story of the young woman whose parents believed she was being held against her will but who later released a statement that looked more like a hostage video saying she was fine. Chile, I beg to differ. Nothing about this situation is fine.
Dogs, like the neighborhood gossip (aka anyone who writes for DListed), get into everything. If you have a puppy, you should just expect to come home one day to find half your dry cleaning eaten and a few chomps out of the nice Ethan Allen loveseat you found at Goodwill. Now meet Charlie (seen above). This pup’s owner, Axios editor Bubba Atkinson, tossed up a video of Charlie rounding the wine fridge with the same guilty look most of us have when our significant other catches us walking back with a glass of 10AM rosé. Ok, fine fine fine…our second glass of 10AM rosé. Continue reading