The #metoo movement has found its way to Time Magazine’s shortlist for “person of the year”. This is probably the first time a # has made the list and I’m personally offended that #tooktotwitter is still lingering underused and unappreciated by anybody other than myself. But I guess I can’t make this #allaboutme.
I think it’s pretty widely accepted that Geraldo Rivera is an asshat. I, for one, never forgave him for that whackadoodle Al Capone’s vault stunt. Thanks for literally nothing, Geraldo! Now Geraldo is making headlines again by aggressively defending his pal and recently unearthed letch Matt Lauer. Geraldo #tooktotwitterwithavengence with a series of tweets not only defending Matt, but also giving us his nuanced take on workplace romance and offering solutions to the problem of women who just don’t get it.
There’s exciting news coming out of The White House this morning! The government wants to host a contest! First prize is a golden (well, gold-ish, it’s more a Crayola orange color) trophy made from the hair that collects in the drain in President Donald J. Trump’s private shower!
Kathy Griffin is a goddamned tea-tease! Since her scorched earth campaign against, well, everybody started there was a promise of real hot tea spillage. Sadly instead of gallons of piping hot ooglong gushing out, her flood gates have produced barely a trickle of lukewarm Lipton. And not even a dollop of clotted cream in sight! After Andy Cohen pulled a Mimi on her she let loose with a 17 minute bitch sesh directed at those who turned on her, like Andy. But Kathy didn’t reveal much except that Andy is a backstabbing asshole, has always wanted to be her and enjoys olde-timey stimulants.
Today Kathy #tooktotwitter, calling herself “The Mayor of Zero Fucksville” (I’ve been there, the roads are terrible and the people are rude as hell), and posted a letter she had received from a fan detailing a brief encounter he had with with Andy back in college.
Ugh, Chris Evans and Jenny Slate are like the grownup Hollywood version of that annoying couple in high school who live for the drama of breaking up and getting back together. She’s the president of the Drama Club and plays the clarinet in band but somehow hooked up with the captain of the Lacrosse team. Nobody in school really cares but they feel like their public makeups and breakups are the fuel that ignites a thousand spirit rallies. Even though they are not currently dating, Chris and Jenny still want their collective names on the lips of every Becky, Chad and Jermajesty (yes, Jermaine Jackson’s kid goes to my imaginary high school). But instead passing notes in class, they #tooktotwitter with their hijinks.
Amber Tamblyn would please like you to stop @ing her with your criticism about her husband, David Cross. Amber has been on a feminist warpath lately. However, Amber’s “Raise Every Voice” anthem got real quiet when David was accused of saying some really dumb racist shit to fellow comedian Charlyne Yi. Amber was called out on that, and she tweeted that she would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.