Since that headline doesn’t say “another Russian hooker wants to shit all over Trump” (you know he’s a scat queen too), Trump probably didn’t like Robert De Niro shitting all over him at the Tony Awards last night, and I’m sure he’s going to tweet gloat about how a game show with one of his supporters in it beat the Tonys in the ratings. This really is Trump’s America when Family Feud with the Kartrashians on it beat the Tonys….
The Band’s Visit won ten Tony awards last night, Laurie Metcalf got a lot closer to getting a Queen of Broadway crown by winning her second Tony in two years, and the theater kids from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School did Seasons of Love from Rent, but Robert De Niro launching two f-bombs at Trump temporarily stole the headlines. Because finding a Trump supporter at the Tonys is probably like trying to find a Snickers bar at Tom Brady’s house, De Niro was hit with a wave of claps and cheers afterward. The only way he could’ve gotten a bigger applause from those theaters queens is if he shouted: ETHEL MERMAN WAS ROBBED!
Doogie Howser M.D. sure has come up in the world. Neil Patrick Harris has hosted the Tony Awards a few times, but sadly he’s forgotten all the little people upon whose heads he tap danced on his way to the top. One such head is Crazy-Ex Girlfriend Rachel Bloom’s. Last night, for the second year in a row, Rachel was the backstage host at the Tonys and Neil was watching from home with his spawn and live tweeting. Neil was either suffering from soap opera amnesia or was super salty to be left out because he went in hard on Rachel with a Mariah worthy “I don’t know her”.
Somewhere, a snobby theater queen is looking at today’s Tony nominations and fanning themselves with their laminated Angela Lansbury-signed Sweeney Todd Playbill over the tourist trap tragedy of the 2017-2018 Broadway musical season. Every new musical that opened on Broadway was either a jukebox musical, was based on a movie, was based on a fucking cartoon, or was a musical revue. Some of the new musicals included SpongeBob SquarePants, Frozen, Summer: The Donna Summer Musical, and Escape To Margaritaville (which is apparently an escape to HELL). If the title of a new musical causes a tourist to brain fart out a question mark, don’t even bother opening that bitch on Broadway. So I can’t wait for the 2018-2019 season where we’ll see The Avengers Musical: Infinity Songs, CROC of Tunes: The CROCS Musical, The Olive Garden Dinner Theater Presents Guy Fieri Sings Sinatra!, and Why Won’t Satan Just Eat Broadway Already: The Nickelback Musical.
Mean Girls and SpongeBob got the most Tony noms with 12 each. The revivals of Angels in America and Carousel, and The Band’s Visit, which is apparently going to win, got 11 each.
During an interview with The Hollywood Reporter a few years ago, Kevin Spacey made it sound like he’s never going to officially come out about how his tongue gets the tingles for twink ass. But while hosting the Tonys last night, Kevin made jokes about being a permanent resident of the glass closet. I guess Kevin Spacey farting out gay jokes while dressed in Norma Desmond drag (which looked more like low-budget Walter Mercado drag) at the Tonys is the closest he’ll ever get to waving goodbye at fellow polyester wig master John Travolta as he strolls out of the closet.
After Everyone In The World Turned The Job Down, Kevin Spacey Has Been Chosen As This Year’s Tonys Host
Kevin Spacey’s name trended on Twitter today and some thought that he either checked out of the glass closet or checked into the afterworld. It’s neither. The Tony people announced today that on June 11th, Kevin Spacey will take the stage at Radio City Music Hall to host what’s arguably the Gay Super Bowl. I say arguably, because I’m not sure if that title belongs to the Oscars, the RuPaul’s Drag Race season finale or whenever Showgirls comes on premium cable. It’s the latter for me, obviously.
Cate Blanchett was at the Tony Awards in NYC last night, because she’s making her Broadway debut later this year in a show that isn’t Hamilton. (I know, why are other shows even bothering?) Judging by that butchered-up look on Cate Blanchett’s body, I’m guessing that she was also there, because she knew that most thi-turr people play it safe by wearing the most boring dress at Lord & Taylor, so she needed to give the public something that’ll hurt their eyeballs and make their retinas curl. Thank you, Cate!