To her credit, she could have gone a lot further. She left out psychotic, overly short, prefers his wives to be subservient cyborgs, crazy-eyed, jumps on couches, as well as “once starred in a stock-car racing movie.” And I’m not even going to mention my belief that he once put on an all-male, all-nude musical production of Whatever Happened To Baby Jane alongside John Travolta and the rest of the L. Ron Hubbard’s Men’s Choir.
Scientology’s least favorite actress Leah Remini took part in a Reddit AMA on Tuesday about her show, A&E’s Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath. In it, Leah referred to petite cultist Tom Cruise as “diabolical.” I know how you feel, Leah. I saw Valkyrie, too.
Tom Cruise learned a very hard lesson earlier this week: that no matter how hard you visualize yourself flying in your private Scientology human-to-god training with David Miscavige, you aren’t actually able to fly. Tom Cruise brought some accidental AFV antics to the set of Mission: Impossible 6 in London on Sunday when he failed twice to successfully complete a jump from the roof of one building to another while rigged up to a harness.
E! News says Tom’s results are in, and he’s got a broken ankle. Calm down, John Travolta, I’m sure Tom will let you be the first to sign his cast. Paramount Pictures released a statement about Tom’s injury letting everyone know that Tom is ok, but filming has been suspended for the time being.
“During production on the latest Mission: Impossible film, Tom Cruise broke his ankle while performing a stunt. Production will go on hiatus while Tom makes a full recovery, and the film remains on schedule to open July 27, 2018. Tom wants to thank you all for your concern and support and can’t wait to share the film with everyone next summer.”
It probably doesn’t have to be that long of a break (no pun intended). They could just throw Tom in a cast and shoot him behind a series of desks, plants, and moving boxes. And if they really need him to look like he’s in constant motion, which he usually is in those movies, they could edit out his crutches in post-production and outfit him with a special running cast. Just don’t forget to add a little 3-inch plaster lift at the bottom! You wouldn’t want him hobbling around with one foot at his natural height.
David Miscavige better hop in Scientology’s private jet and get his ass over to London, England with his favorite nurse’s uniform, because his best buddy Tom Cruise needs some tender loving care today. Tom had a very real moment on the set of Mission: Impossible 6 yesterday, and it was more real and intense than a thousand couch-jumps and Matt Lauer “You’re glib” show-downs combined. According to TMZ, Tom was injured pretty bad during a stunt when he attempted to leap from one building to another.
Somewhere Ted Haggard is reading that headline and falling in love with 19-year-old Tom Cruise.
Curtis Armstrong is best known to me as Bert Viola from Moonlighting, but he was also Booger in Revenge of the Nerds was in Risky Business with a then 19-year-old Tommy Cruise. Curtis wrote his memoir, Revenge of the Nerd, and an actor can’t put out a memoir unless they fill it with juicy shit about other actors. So Curtis wrote about working with Tommy and said that he was a strict square who never wanted to go to the bar with them. Before Tommy was the Jesus of Scientology, he was reading about the real Jesus. Curtis writes that Tommy was a born again and like any good born again, he balanced his bible study with getting his dick sucked by randoms.
The Mummy was the wet turd of the North American box office last weekend (it’s done a lot better internationally, though) and most critics seems to think it’s as interesting and exciting as a dried skid mark clinging to a piece of toilet paper in the trash can. Variety did a story on what went wrong with the movie that was supposed to start Universal’s “Dark Universe” series off right. They say that a lot of the blame is on Tom Cruise’s big, sloppy, throbbing ego and Universal giving him way too much control. Universal apparently wanted a blockbuster horror movie and they got another Tom Cruise movie.
Two weeks ago, Tom Cruise confirmed that a sequel to the 1986 bro flick Top Gun was definitely happening and said that filming was probably going to start next year. Val Kilmer has let it be known he’s totally available to slip into his sexy flight jammies. I’m assuming that’s what those bulge-enhancing fighter pilot onesies are called.