Category: Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise Is Too Short To Play Jack Reacher Again

November 15, 2018 / Posted by:

When Tom Cruise gets his annual physical at the Church of Scientology’s medical facility, he steps up on the scale and the doctor announces: “Sweet thetans Tom, you’ve grown another 4 inches this year! Don’t hit your head on the door frame when you leave.” Which is very kind of them, but probably not the truth, considering the author of the Jack Reacher novels just came out and said that Tom is too tiny to play the title character again.

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Nicole Kidman Talked About Her Scientologist Kids Isabella And Connor Cruise

November 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Say what you will about Nicole Kidman’s taste in men and wigs (and let’s face it, beards), but I don’t think anybody would claim she’s a bad mom. In an interview with the Australian magazine with the delightfully shady title “Who?” (question mark my addition), Nicole finally discussed her relationship with her two eldest children with Tom Cruise; Connor Cruise (23) and Isabella Cruise (25). It is with much shame and consternation that I report I got touched in the feels (which I thought had all turned into a globule of See’s Peanut Brittle, which if you’ve never tried it, is totally worth exchanging for celebrity empathy) reading about Nicole’s thoughts on her children’s decision to go the way of L. Ron Hubbard.

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Nicole Kidman Kinda Talked About Tom Cruise Again

October 22, 2018 / Posted by:

I always assumed the first rule of being divorced from Tom Cruise is you don’t talk about being married to Tom Cruise, but maybe that only applies to the most recent wife? Sorry, Katie Holmes, but Nicole Kidman is a liberated falcon! Before you start envisioning a Nicole Kidman guest appearance on Leah Remini’s show wearing a Columbo trench coat outside the Church of Scientology HQ, calm down. Nicole mentioned last week how she thought being married to Tom kept her from being sexually harassed in Hollywood, and she kinda sorta doubled down on that this morning while promoting Boy Erased on the Today show. Continue reading

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Being Married To Tom Cruise Gave Nicole Kidman Protection In Hollywood

October 16, 2018 / Posted by:

For New York Magazine’s Women & Power issue, Nicole Kidman talked all about her time in Hollywood, working with women and her experiences with #MeToo-related fuckery. Nicole talks about her “power” in the movie industry and how Tom Cruise helped her achieve it. No, not through the telekinetic abilities she developed through Scientology; she only uses those on weekends when she fights crime.

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Tom Cruise Supposedly Can See Suri But Chooses Not To 

October 4, 2018 / Posted by:

When we last heard about Tom Cruise and his non-relationship with his 12-year-old daughter Suri Cruise, Leah Remini was saying that Katie Holmes could lose custody of Suri just by talking to her, and that came after we heard Tom hasn’t seen Suri in years. A source tells UsWeekly that Tom could see Suri, but he doesn’t, because she’s not a Scientologist. While most of us would award Tom the Asshole Dad of the Year award for that, I’m sure David Miscavige is awarding him with The Most Amazing And Perfect Dad award, but then again he probably gets that every morning from his Scientology minions.  Continue reading

Katie Holmes Could Lose Custody Of Suri Cruise By Talking To Leah Remini, So Says Leah Remini 

September 27, 2018 / Posted by:

As everyone and their Thetans know, Anti-Scientology Warrior Queen Leah Remini has made a second career out of calling out the head bitches of the Cult of L. Ron Hubbard for the way Scientologists have been treated while in the group of L. Ro worshipers and after leaving it. Leah has really gone in on the Jesus of Scientology, Tom Cruise, and called him “diabolical,” said he’s untouchable in Scientology, and that he could easily bring down the Crazy Kingdom of E-Meters if he wanted to (which I’m sure he doesn’t since he’s probably addicted to the feeling of a thousand tongues up his Scientolohole). And now Leah’s saying that he could also rip Suri Cruise out of Katie Holmes‘ arms for talking to her.

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