The family that posts nudes of their exes without permission stays together, or something.
O.J. Simpson’s Dick fan club president Tokyo Toni (given name Shalana Hunter) had a warrant put out for her arrest on Friday and was charged yesterday with harassment, posting revenge porn and two counts of stalking. As the more learned among you are aware, Tokyo Toni owns the womb out of which Kardashian favorite Blac Chyna sashayed. Blac Chyna is currently suing her ex, socklord and Eeyore impersonator Rob Kardashian, for posting revenge porn of her. Toni and Rob are apparently two reasons why A) you make sure your nudes NEVER show your face and B) you always close your sex partner’s laptop before you begin.
Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Dylann Roof and The Beltway Sniper. No, I’m not casting an all-star production of Assassins: The Musical! If you add Tokyo Toni (and we know she likes the company of jail birds), you’ve got a list of people who have taken justice into their own hands and acted as their own legal counsel! Page Six reports that Toni is representing herself in a lawsuit she filed against talk show host and shady husband haver Wendy Williams.
O.J. Simpson was released from prison last weekend. Perhaps you’ll see him gracing a golf course near you (although you Floridians might be disappointed). In depressing news, women of questionable sanity who are into probable homicidal maniacs are already prowling for him. Blac Chyna’s own mom and devoted ally to transgender people Tokyo Toni, might be leading the charge.
Tokyo Toni, the Don Quixote of the Pacific, is tilting at windmills once again. Last week, Blac Chyna’s mom showed us what real class looks like by posting an eloquently phrased and unimpeachable reprimand directed at Caitlyn Jenner in defense of her daughter. Today, our heroine Tokyo has stood up on her high ass (you know this woman can’t be trusted with a horse, she’d steal that bitch’s ponytail!) yet again to defend Chyna against ex-fiancée Tyga, who went on Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club radio show and dared to say a few nice words about her.
Caitlyn Jenner appeared on The View on Friday and shared her thoughts about the whole Rob Kardashian/Blac Chyna situation. The segment included Mischa Barton (who has been the victim of revenge porn), and her lawyer Lisa Bloom, who is also representing Blac Chyna. During the segment, Caitlyn said “Rob was stupid for doing that. He kind of apologized” referencing Rob’s Instagram revenge tantrum. According to People magazine, Caitlyn also said:
I’ve never met Blac Chyna, never met the kid [Dream Kardashian]. Rob, I haven’t really haven’t had a serious conversation with in years. I’ve kind of been out of that scene, so I really can’t comment on what’s going on there.
Hardly a controversial or insightful take, but there you have it: A tepid condemnation of something she has nothing to do with. However, Blac Chyna’s mother, Tokyo Toni, was not having any of it and posted an fiery homophobic and transphobic rant directed at Caitlyn to Instagram in response.
Because everyone who fucks around with this family is kontractually obligated to go by their first AIM screen name, today’s installment of Keeping Up with the Konstant Kraziness will be starring Blac Chyna, her mother Tokyo Toni, and the lord of unsellable socks himself, Rob Kardashian.
Despite everyone in the world coming together in harmony to let E! know that we do not want this, and no really we’re good, Ryan Seacrest’s evil lab still made E!’s Rob & Chyna Baby Special. If you watched the “special” then you may recall one tiny, seemingly insignificant moment (“You’ll have to be more specific” -everyone who watched) when Rob starts having some relaxing girl talk with Little Lord Disick and calls Toni a “loose cannon.” Rob sure as hell is not the first man to say something judgmental about his future (we’ll see!) mother-in-law, but probably doing it on camera for a show that’s not giving Tokyo Toni Tony Tone a paycheck was a bad move.