Category: Time Magazine

Donald Trump, Duchess Meghan, And Others Made Time’s “Person Of The Year” Shortlist

December 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Unlike the PR feeding frenzy I imagine Hollywood is in the days leading up to People announcing their Most Beautiful list, I think the only nerds/people on Time’s “Person Of The Year” shortlist are Donald Trump and Duchess Meghan since they’re the only ones with enough time on their hands to give a shit. Some reps from the magazine stopped by the Today show, uh, today and revealed what people or groups they were considering for this year. It sounds like Trump might finally be able to get rid of that fake-ass Time cover from his wall.< !–more–>

Time reports that it is considering Trump (who was the 2016 honoree) because – even if he is a turd (they didn’t call him that, but you can infer) – he pretty much keeps cable news in business with all his personal drama, his tweets, separating kids from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border, making THE QUEEN wait around on his tardy ass, and the ongoing Robert Mueller investigation into how much he was cozying up to Russia during the 2016 election. Speaking of, Robert also is a contender. Wouldn’t it be funny if Robert beat out Trump? Actually, that would probably be what finally causes Trump to put a stop to the investigation, so don’t pull any funny business, Time!

Time is also considering the separated immigrant families as this year’s “honor” since it’s up there as one of the most horrific stories of the year and so many kids remain separated from their parents. Trump’s international boo-thang Vladimir Putin, Black Panther director Ryan Coogler, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, assassinated Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi, South Korean President Moon Jae-in and March for Our Lives activists from the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting also made the cut. You could have honestly picked from that list and had someone worthy of the title.

Alas, Time needs to make sure copies of this thing sells, so Kensington Palace Terror Meghan made the list, too. Billions around the world tuned in and watched her snatch Prince Harry from our imaginary grasp, and she’s been wreaking havoc on royal protocol ever since. Oh, and she made sure to get knocked up in the process, so her ass isn’t going back to the colonies anytime soon. I mean, if it’s between some of the others tugging at our heartstrings or Meghan making Duchess Kate sob over a toddler’s bridesmaid dress, who could possibly decide?! Yeah, my money’s on Meghan, too.


Tiffany Haddish Is Now One Of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People

April 19, 2018 / Posted by:

Tiffany Haddish is, by far, the patron saint of the Glow Up. After teaching us the art of fruit-flavored fellatio in last year’s blockbuster hit Girl’s Trip and a critically acclaimed hosting gig on Saturday Night Live (wearing her trademark white Alexander McQueen dress) she is the definition of ‘Living My Best Life’. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been worth it. And now after all her years of struggle she’s snagged a spot on Time’s 100 Most Influential People’s list, along with Cardi B, Nicole Kidman, Christian Siriano, Lena Waithe, JLo, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Rihanna, and Janet Mock.

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TIME’s Person Of The Year Are The Silence Breakers

December 6, 2017 / Posted by:

TIME magazine announced their annual Person of the Year, and whoever had their money on the #MeToo movement has reason to quietly celebrate (cheering wildly over your winnings will seem just a *tad* tacky given the circumstances). TIME’s People of the Year for 2017 are the “silence breakers,” or those who bravely told their shitty, awful stories of sexual harassment and assault.

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The #metoo Movement Makes Time’s Shortlist For “Person Of The Year”

December 4, 2017 / Posted by:

The #metoo movement has found its way to Time Magazine’s shortlist for “person of the year”. This is probably the first time a # has made the list and I’m personally offended that #tooktotwitter is still lingering underused and unappreciated by anybody other than myself. But I guess I can’t make this #allaboutme.

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