Tiffany Haddish is, by far, the patron saint of the Glow Up. After teaching us the art of fruit-flavored fellatio in last year’s blockbuster hit Girl’s Trip and a critically acclaimed hosting gig on Saturday Night Live (wearing her trademark white Alexander McQueen dress) she is the definition of ‘Living My Best Life’. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been worth it. And now after all her years of struggle she’s snagged a spot on Time’s 100 Most Influential People’s list, along with Cardi B, Nicole Kidman, Christian Siriano, Lena Waithe, JLo, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Rihanna, and Janet Mock.
Even though we probably know the culprit of Beyoncé bite-gate, there must be some Love & Basketball fans not ready to believe Sanaa Lathan doubles as Hannibal Lecter during her downtime. People are still trying to get Tiffany Haddish to snitch further and say what she saw, but she confirmed what most of us already figured: she can’t because she signed an NDA. Continue reading
Tiffany Hadish gave presumably her last interview before the Beyhive hauls ass to muzzle her from bringing up the most interesting tea from their queen since Beyoncé hacked up a loogie when Kelly Rowland tried to say she was second lead vocalist for Destiny’s Child. Some of us (oh, just me?) have written fan fiction about Ali Larter pulling some shit like this to bring Obsessed straight to real life instead of just straight to Blu-Ray. Alas, despite her earlier denials, fingers are pointing at Sanaa Lathan as the drugged up actress who bit Bey. Continue reading
Actresses Sanaa Lathan and Sara Foster have both been eliminated as suspects in the Bey-Bitegate scandal. Tell me again how investigative journalism is dead? Yesterday proved that both legitimate news outlets and passionate citizen detectives are dedicating time and energy to answer the burning question of the day (ok yesterday): #whobitbeyonce? The Cut and Vulture both did a deep dive into the case that amounts to this generation’s Lindbergh kidnapping.
Tiffany Haddish either gives 0.0000 fucks about Beyonce threatening her with an NDA in song, or in that selfie above, Beyonce is whispering into her ear, “Now, I’m going to need you to tell everyone about that cracked out home wrecking trollop trying to get with my man, and I’m going to act like I’m mad about you spilling it, but keep on, keep on…” Because Tiffany has more to say about the messy night she met Beyonce.
Tiffany already said that Beyonce kept her from whooping the ass of a trick who was trying to become Jay-Z’s latest side piece, and now she’s telling GQ that the trick was on drugs and took a bite out of Bey. Whoever that cracked out actress is, she better start begging for the authorities to let her into the BPP (Beyhive Protection Program), because if there’s one thing that the Beyhive has (besides a crazed undying love for Beyonce), it’s the time needed to track down the evil doer who stabbed their Jesus in the face with her teeth.
Tiffany Haddish had the most fun with at the Oscars on Sunday night. She presented an award in her favorite dress and a pair of slippers, she ambushed Meryl Streep, and apparently she also promised to get with Brad Pitt if they’re both still single in a year. That’s probably not even Tiffany’s last random Oscar night story. I feel like we’re about to learn that Tiffany was the one who apprehended her new best friend Frances McDormand’s Oscar thief by beating him over the head with one of her slippers.