Category: Thomas Markle

Duchess Meghan May Sue The Mail On Sunday For Publishing Her Letter To Thomas Markle

February 25, 2019 / Posted by:

I honestly think there would be nothing worse than if a newspaper A- thought I was interesting enough to write about and B- started going through my garbage to publish all the crap they find. Duchess Meghan has been going through that ever since she won the dating lottery and began to hump on Prince Harry. She hasn’t exactly had the easiest commoner-to-royal transition since, uh, her dad, Thomas Markle, and his side of the family are trash. The Mail on Sunday helped take it to the next level the other week by publishing a letter Meghan wrote to her dad after the wedding, telling him to cut his bullshit. It seems like Meghan REALLY didn’t appreciate that, so now she’s threatening legal action against them.

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George Clooney Thinks The Media Is Vilifying Duchess Meghan And It’s Becoming A Princess Diana Situation 

February 12, 2019 / Posted by:

In case you didn’t know from George and Amal Clooney cheesing it up at the royal wedding and his Kentucky cousin saying that he’d be a perfect godfather to the royal ginger American baby, the Clooneys are friends with the Duke and Duchess of Suckit. So while promoting his new Hulu series Catch-22 at the Winter TCA, Australian magazine WHO asked him if he’s going to be the godfather to Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s baby. George let out a, “No!“, before laughing and then crying while thinking about how if he was that baby’s godfather, he could somehow convince PHG and Meghan to name the kid Duke or Duchess Casamigos. George then got serious and called for the media to stop relentlessly dragging Duchess Meghan.

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Thomas Markle Shockingly (Cough) Shared A Private Letter From Duchess Meghan

February 11, 2019 / Posted by:

At the rate he’s going, the only thing from Duchess Meghan that her father, Thomas Markle, hasn’t shared is a dryer sheet she once used for some laundry, but that’s probably because he lost the key to the storage unit where he keeps it. Right after Meghan forced her friends to cough up a few reasons of why she’s the shit was profiled in People as being a totally kind princess who just happens to fire off sunrise missives to staffers, there was chatter that she sent her dad a letter last year begging him to quit his media-whoring shit. Rather than let people speculate, Thomas coughed up the letter to most likely earn his weekly payment from British tabloids.

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Samantha Markle Is Spending The Holidays Dragging Duchess Meghan

December 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Most of us are spending the holidays cashing in all those Weight Watcher points on glazed hams and Christmas cookies, but Samantha Markle has discovered a new holiday tradition: talking shit about her sister, Duchess Meghan, in the press. OK, fine, that’s also Samantha’s daily tradition, but give her a golf clap for at least for sticking to her script. After getting pissed at what Meghan and PrinceHarry sent in their own holiday greeting, Samantha has sent her own in the form of a passive aggressive open letter to the Mirror.

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Thomas Markle Hit The Fame Whore Stroll To Say His Daughter “Ghosted” Him

December 17, 2018 / Posted by:

Fresh off from collecting some coins for talking about Daughter Meghan to The Daily Mail, Thomas Markle is collecting some coins (I’m guessing… even though Piers Morgan claims he didn’t) for talking about Duchess Meghan to Good Morning Britain. Thomas dribbled out more of the same, like how Meghan isn’t returning his texts or calls (in her defense, it’s kind of hard to return a text from a number you’ve blocked) and has abandoned him as if he’s a geriatric dog who is “too old” to fly. Thomas pretty much said the same thing over and over again, and has become a media robot who spews “my daughter is ignoring me” followed by “now where’s my check?” on a loop. If his daughter did call him, he might malfunction, because what would he say to the tabloids over and over again now?

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Thomas Markle Asked His Ex-Wife Why Duchess Meghan Won’t Speak To Him

December 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Duchess Meghan is going through it lately (but luckily she has two things called Prince Harry and “not having to worry about money” to get her through it). Between feeling her ankles starting to swell with pregnancy from having to cope with the supposed feud she’s having with her sister-in-law Duchess Kate over dresses, life isn’t easy for a gal new to the British royal family. And then you’ve got her Pops. Thomas Markle is still turning to the press to report everything he’s feeling about his estranged daughter. This time he brought photos, letters, and a revelation that he felt it necessary to ask his ex-wife and Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, why Meghan isn’t speaking to him. This is sort of meta or Russian nesting doll or something because the answer is this interview you’re currently giving to the Daily Mail, fool.

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