Most of us are spending the holidays cashing in all those Weight Watcher points on glazed hams and Christmas cookies, but Samantha Markle has discovered a new holiday tradition: talking shit about her sister, Duchess Meghan, in the press. OK, fine, that’s also Samantha’s daily tradition, but give her a golf clap for at least for sticking to her script. After getting pissed at what Meghan and PrinceHarry sent in their own holiday greeting, Samantha has sent her own in the form of a passive aggressive open letter to the Mirror.
Fresh off from collecting some coins for talking about Daughter Meghan to The Daily Mail, Thomas Markle is collecting some coins (I’m guessing… even though Piers Morgan claims he didn’t) for talking about Duchess Meghan to Good Morning Britain. Thomas dribbled out more of the same, like how Meghan isn’t returning his texts or calls (in her defense, it’s kind of hard to return a text from a number you’ve blocked) and has abandoned him as if he’s a geriatric dog who is “too old” to fly. Thomas pretty much said the same thing over and over again, and has become a media robot who spews “my daughter is ignoring me” followed by “now where’s my check?” on a loop. If his daughter did call him, he might malfunction, because what would he say to the tabloids over and over again now?
Duchess Meghan is going through it lately (but luckily she has two things called Prince Harry and “not having to worry about money” to get her through it). Between feeling her ankles starting to swell with pregnancy from having to cope with the supposed feud she’s having with her sister-in-law Duchess Kate over dresses, life isn’t easy for a gal new to the British royal family. And then you’ve got her Pops. Thomas Markle is still turning to the press to report everything he’s feeling about his estranged daughter. This time he brought photos, letters, and a revelation that he felt it necessary to ask his ex-wife and Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, why Meghan isn’t speaking to him. This is sort of meta or Russian nesting doll or something because the answer is this interview you’re currently giving to the Daily Mail, fool.
It’s not all shrimp on the Barbie and Kylie Minogue sing-offs during the Australian (and other places) royal tour of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan (seen above cosplaying as Sarah Jessica Parker in Oscar de la Renta at the the Australian Geographic Society Gala Awards in Sydney). The two were on a chartered Qantas flight into Sydney earlier today, and they were basically at the runway when the pilot pulled a “JK, mates!” and had to abort the landing and go around for a do-over. No, it wasn’t because they saw Thomas Markle and decided to get the eff out of there. There was another plane, but Thomas might come into play when the expecting parents get back to London.
Kensington Palace announced a week ago that Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry were expecting a baby, and I’m sure the world is shocked that it took her blabbermouth daddy Thomas Markle as long to call up a British tabloid to talk about it. Heck, his daughter Samantha Markle (who had a statement out in 24 hours) was probably getting worried. Thomas has finally spoken about his grandbaby with The Daily Mail.
One day after Kensington Palace announced that Duchess Meghan was is pregnant with Prince Harry’s royal spawn, we’ve got Thomas Markle’s take on things. And of course Samantha Markle has something to say about it too.