Category: This Is News

You Can Find Anything At Marshalls, Including Diana Ross’ Fanny Pack

November 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Diana Ross is a capital-L legend, and legends like her don’t need to do their own shopping. They should just sit on their nicest velvet chaise and summon their best assistant to retrieve it for them. But Diana Ross does do her own shopping. While looking for a picture of Diana Ross, I found many of her out and about, running her own errands and carrying her own bags  I’m still recovering from such a shock to my system). Apparently even wealthy diva legends enjoy a good discount department store bargain hunt.

According to Page Six, Diana Ross was shopping for a gift over the weekend in Los Angeles, which led her to a local Marshalls. At one point during her trip, Diana lost her fanny pack somewhere in the store. A Good Samaritan found it, and rather than keeping it as a souvenir or trying to sell it on eBay as a million-dollar collectable art piece, they turned it in. She was so thankful for her shopping angell (two Ls because they’re double the blessing).

Almost everyone comes out a winner in this story: Diana for getting her precious fanny pack back, the kind soul who returned it and Marshalls for the good publicity. The only loser is the marketing executives at Ross who are no doubt supremely pissed off that Diana wasn’t caught shopping for deals in one of their stores. Do You Know Where Diana Ross Goes To Dress for Less? would have been a great campaign.

But why is Diana Ross still using a fanny pack? I shouldn’t be such a hater. It’s probably so she can keep her hands free while she scoops up $29.99 crystal-look vases with one hand and on-trend jewel-toned sweaters with the other. That’s just smart shopping.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Kanye West Isn’t On Team Trump Anymore

February 6, 2017 / Posted by:

It looks like Kanye West will never be invited to a slumber party at the White House, where he and his one-time BFF, Donald Trump, would crank call the Australian PM, toilet paper Nancy Pelosi’s office, take selfies with the nuclear button and color each other’s hair using the imported piss of a Russian hooker. Because Kanye is done with Trump.

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IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS: Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Went Christmas Tree Shopping

December 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Believe it or not, but when Prince Hot Ginge wants a Christmas tree, he doesn’t command his henchmen to gallop deep into the forest, find the most majestic fir tree and evict all of the woodland creatures from it (by order of the ginger prince!) before cutting it down and bringing it back to the palace. PHG shops for a Christmas tree like a regular, because he’s real like that.

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