Category: Things I Didn’t Think Would Ever Happen
Kanye West Is Officially On The Ballot In Oklahoma
Okay, someone get me a bottle of Advil, because my neck is sore from all the constant whiplash from the news about Kanye West’s alleged 2020 Presidential bid. It’s like the “She’s my sister, she’s my daughter” slap scene in Chinatown. Except it’s, “He’s running for President! He’s not running for President! No wait, he is running for President!” Twelve days ago, Kanye announced he was doing what he promised back in 2015, which was that he would be running for President of the United States of America. Then it was rumored his announcement was simply part of a bipolar episode. But then he appeared on a poll with 2% support. And when Michael K last checked in yesterday, it looked like Kanye had filed the first stage of forms, although the strategist Kanye hired claimed Kanye was out of the race.
It’s now being reported that Kanye’s name is officially a Presidential voting option in the state of Oklahoma. He has also reportedly filled out the second stage of forms required for a bid. So, the possibility of First Lady Kimberly Kardashian is back on the table.
The Moment We Thought Would Never Happen Has Happened
No, the Centers for Disease Control didn’t finally put on Hazmat suits and drag Johnny Depp into a tent to finally give him an ammonia and bleach shower and power scrub off the bracelets that have been embedded into his skin under a thick layer of crusted dirt. That isn’t the moment I’m talking about. I’m talking about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard finally settling settled their divorce. IT. IS. OVER. Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry are probably stretching their arms and warming up their vocal cords for screaming, because now that Johnny and Amber are done fighting, someone has to provide the legal messiness.