The t-shirt and saltwater taffy shops of the Jersey Shore will be a little quieter and void of third-person self-references this summer, as Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino reported to prison today for trying to hide millions from Uncle Sam. Mike was sentenced back in October to eight months in the slammer after he and his brother, Marc Sorrentino, were found guilty of failing to pay taxes on two businesses they own, and incorrectly reporting $9 million of income. Marc got two years in jail, so count your blessed situation, The Situation! Mike do-si-doed into jail earlier this afternoon, and it looks like he’ll have another famous face to pump iron with in the prison yard.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has been engaged to his fiancée Lauren Pesce since he popped the question during an episode of Jersey Shore Family Vacation in June. He’s also about to go to prison for tax evasion. The Situation becomes The Inmate anytime between now and January 15, 2019, which means he had to decide if he wanted to get married before, after, or sometime during his prison stay. He went with the first option.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino forgot rule #1 of any money situation, which is that if you find yourself making more of it, you need to remember to pay Uncle Sam. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a locked-up situation. Which is where The Situation is today.
If there’s one thing we all know, it’s that the IRS is the brightest pupil from Detective LaToya’s House of Creeping. In short, pay up or she’ll find your ass. Even though Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino had claimed he had not been guilty of adding tax evasion to his G, T, L to-do list, it appears a deal has been struck since he plead guilty in court today. Continue reading
Like covers of “Imagine,” that “Melrose Place” reboot and fanny packs, sometimes it’s best to just let the original speak for itself…and never try to revive it. So when word got out that the same production team behind Jersey Shore were heading to the Florida Panhandle to revive it in the form of Floribama Shore, some people thought that might not work. Especially the original Jersey Shore wrecks cast. Continue reading
The first trailer for the Jersey Shore reunion was released, and anyone with any marketing know-how would have done this trailer right. They would have opened it with old b&w footage of former Jersey Shore hobbitess (and current thinner Jersey Shore hobbitess) Snooki celebrating pickles back in the day and how much she loves
those dick substitutes them. And then new 2017 footage of a svelte Snooki talking about how she might have lost weight but she still loves those dick substitutes pickles! It would hearken back to the old days, and comfort the viewer by showing nothing’s changed that much. Then again, it’s E! and all of their marketing intelligentsia are on the Kardashian project and mostly concerned with making that family palatable to humans. Continue reading