File Under “Genius Moves”: Tyrese Is Threatening To Quit The Franchise That Brings Him Lots Of Coins
Tyrese’s life is a dried diarrhea-encrusted wreck on many levels. Tyrese is currently neck deep in shit from his shit-throwing custody fight with his ex-wife Norma Gibson. Tyrese is also in a one-man (since The Rock isn’t really fighting back) shit-throwing feud with The Rock over the Fast and the Furious franchise. And he’s been going off about both situations on Instagram.
Tyrese is apparently going broke from defending himself against his ex-wife’s accusation that he abused their 10-year-old daughter Shayla, and he also threatened to quit the Fast and the Furious franchise if The Rock stays on. So, Tyrese needs money and yet he’s threatening to quit the job that brings him an easy check? Hmmm… The next time your ass is dealing with a problem, ask yourself, “What would Tyrese do?” Whatever that answer is, do the direct fucking opposite.
Tyrese Gibson is being investigated by Los Angeles County Child and Family Services based on claims made by his ex-wife of overzealous spanking. According to TMZ, Norma Gibson accused Tyrese of spanking “his 10-year-old daughter so hard she couldn’t sit”. Unfortunately, that’s not all. Norma is also trying to get a restraining order that will prevent Tyrese from physically disciplining their daughter Shayla at all. Norma is also seeking full physical and legal custody of Shayla because she’s afraid Tyrese might spirit their daughter away to Dubai and she’s not down with that “Not Without My Daughter” type of life.
A lot of us have been watching the awful devastation Hurricane Harvey has caused in parts of Southeastern Texas, and have been wondering what the hell we can do to help. Although if you’re Texas televangelical pastor Joel Osteen, you’ve already got it figured out (ie. you keep the doors of your megachurch locked until people on the internet point out you’re pretty much guaranteeing yourself a place in Hell unless you open them).
The general consensus is that money helps. Kevin Hart wanted to do something, so on Sunday, he went on Instagram and started his own Hurricane Harvey challenge. He called out his rich friends by name and challenged them to donate $25,000 to the Red Cross. One of the people he called out was his Central Intelligence co-star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The Rock accepted the challenge, except for the part about calling out his celebrity friends. He made it very clear that he wasn’t going to do that.
Mike Judge might want to think about filing some copyright infringement notices against whatever metaphysical being is controlling this planet, because here’s yet another sign we could be living in a real-life Idiocracy. Two months ago, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson teased in an interview with GQ that he was considering a run for President of the United States of America. Not long after, he joked during an SNL monologue that he was running for President on a ticket with Tom Hanks. Ha ha ha, so funny! Except this might not be a joke anymore.
I don’t know what’s worse: the opening weekend numbers for Baywatch, or all of the “Baywatch belly flopped” jokes that came out of it.
It looks like the bait of Zac Efron’s beefy upper body (or seeing him in Real Housewives of Gold’s Gym drag) wasn’t enough to get people to watch the Baywatch movie. According to Box Office Mojo, its four-day domestic box office gross was less than $23 million. It cost $69 million to make. Baywatch came in at #3 under Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Pirates of the Caribbean 5 came in at #1 with more than $78 million. So people did want to see a mess in the ocean, just not one starring The Rock and Zac Efron.
Fingers are being pointed at a number of reasons why Baywatch flopped in North America. The Hollywood Reporter says that movie theaters had a really lousy Memorial Day weekend (it was the lowest Memorial Day weekend in nearly two decades). The Rock blames the critics.
— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) May 25, 2017
So does Paramount’s president of marketing Megan Colligan. She tells The Hollywood Reporter that Baywatch tested great in screenings, but the critics killed it with their bad reviews. Baywatch currently holds a rating of 19% on Rotten Tomatoes. I guess this officially means Baywatch Nights is no longer the most embarrassing Baywatch? Congratulations, Baywatch Nights!
Here’s the cast working hard for those overseas dollars at the Berlin premiere of Baywatch in Berlin today.
Back in June, The Washington Post published a piece about how Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could win if he ran for President of the United States. The Rock let it be known he was flattered and that the thought of being President was “alluring,” but that it was kind of a far-away idea. Well, the allure of laying the smack down in the White House is apparently growing for The Rock.