Category: THE QUEEN

The Queen Isn’t A Fan Of Duchess Meghan’s Pantsuits

September 4, 2018 / Posted by:

THE QUEEN may be cheering on Duchess Meghan from the sidelines (and asking the rest of the family to give her a T so she can proceed to cheer-spell out THOMAS MARKLE SUCKS), but that doesn’t mean The Queen is a fan of Duchess Meghan’s wardrobe. Meghan’s clothing has gotten her in trouble in the past, specifically her pants. And it’s not because horny Prince Harry keeps asking Meghan if she’s wearing space pants, due to the fact that her ass is out of this world.

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THE QUEEN Is Still Stanning For Duchess Meghan

August 29, 2018 / Posted by:

If you can believe a string of reports, it’s been all laughs and giggles at Buckingham Palace ever since Duchess Meghan arrived. She, Queen Elizabeth, and the corgis all wear matching “Pink Ladies” jackets and terrorize the outsiders of their clique by doing shit like putting Whoopee Cushions under Duchess Kate’s chair cushion at dinner. The Queen may have banned Meghan from eating her favorite food, but she has taken to her in other ways and feels bad for her opportunistic family blabbing to the British tabloids. While shit like that used to get your ass sent to the Tower of London, these days it just causes The Queen to hold Meghan close to her bosom and whisper sweet nothings of support.

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The Royal Family Isn’t Sure How To Handle Thomas Markle 

August 7, 2018 / Posted by:

While Thomas Markle has been blabbing to anyone and everyone about his daughter Duchess Meghan and the royals, the royal family has remained pretty quiet officially and let tabloid “sources” do the responding for them. Well, apparently the royals aren’t sure what to do and are considering upping the ante. I’m sure their next response will come in the form of a strongly worded needlepoint pillow message from THE QUEEN.

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Duchess Meghan Is BFF4Lyfe With THE QUEEN And Duchess Kate

August 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Buckingham Palace might be confused for the Tri-Delt house these days because Duchess Meghan, Duchess Kate, and THE QUEEN are bosom buddies who have all hit it off, and if this doesn’t turn into The Crowncrossing over into The Golden Girls in later seasons, Imma. be. pissed. Because Meghan has the world’s worst father, I guess that put the kibosh on QE2 and Kate inducting Meg into royal life with the usual round of hazing like blindfolding her, dropping her off at a Tesco north of London and making her take – gasp – the subway back home. That’d be cruel. Instead, they’re besties!

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Claire Foy Still Hasn’t Gotten Paid

July 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Claire Foy’s portrayal of THE QUEEN in seasons one and two of Netflix’s The Crown earned her rave reviews and a bunch of awards. So it was a shock to find out that she was paid less than her co-star Matt Smith. Matt played THE QUEEN’S husband, Prince Phillip, who has historically always been second banana to his wife, as portrayed in the show. So why was he getting more in his direct deposit than the show’s lead? Could it be because he was…wait for it… a MAN?

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THE QUEEN Banned Duchess Meghan’s Favorite Food At The Royal Palace

July 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Thanks to her pre-royal career as GOOP Lite (aka a lifestyle blogger), we know a lot of Duchess Meghan’s faves including pasta. That’s a biiiiit of a contrast with what THE QUEEN likes to munch on. QE2 is not a fan of starchy carbs and is also apparently so selfish that she makes everyone suffer through whatever diet she’s on because she won’t let pasta show up on the menu at Buckingham Palace. Sigh. There go my dreams of opening a royal Olive Garden!

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