This is news that should please only Remy Ma and whoever else who thinks Bill Cosby is too old for punishment. On September 25, a court sentenced 81-year-old convicted rapist Bill Cosby to three to ten years in prison. Bill’s legal team was doing everything possible to prevent their client from facing a shred of responsibility for his actions, and they’re still at it.
When Forbes said that Kylie Jenner could potentially be the youngest self-made billionaire last week, a whole lot were made. “Self-made” would imply that Kylie hoisted herself up by the straps of her $1600 Balmain boots to start an almost-billion dollar cosmetics empire. The reality is that Kylie most likely had more help than her lips.
Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner would disagree. According to them, Kylie totally made it on her own and it had nothing to do with her famous last name or siblings.
That’s one strategy! Get people to temporarily forget the child-raping allegations against you by making them laugh their brain parts out of their ears by saying that you, Woody Allen, have such a clean record of not molesting actresses that you should be the face of the #MeToo movement. The only movement Woody should be the face of is a bowel movement, but I digress….
When the gates of #MeToo opened and out came the zillions of stories about powerful Hollywood creepers terrorizing women and men, the allegations by Dylan Farrow against Woody came back up. Dylan wondered why Hollywood hadn’t turn their backs on the dehydrated turtle turd she claims abused her when she was a child. Woody stamped LIES on those allegations again. Actors who worked with Woody started taking sides. Colin Firth spit at the idea of working with Woody again while Diane Keaton and Javier Bardem declared their support for him. Woody did an interview with Argentinean news show Periodismo Para Todos (via CNN), and not only did he shake his head no again at the allegations that he sexually abused his adopted daughter, he also mouth shat up a ten mile-long river of delusion by saying that he should be used as an example by the #MeToo movement of a director who hasn’t touched a woman wrong.
Even with sunglasses on, Team Cosby member Damon Wayans is emoting a vibe that tells me he would rather be teabagging Pinhead than posing next to that Boardwalk Empire-looking ass extra. There’s a good reason for that, because Damon hates him!
Deadline says that what’s been happening behind the cameras on the set of Fox’s Lethal Weapon TV show is much more interesting than what happens in front of them. Lethal Weapon is in its second season, and it does well for Fox, so a third season renewal was expected. But apparently, that’s up in the air thanks to one of the show’s two leads, Clayne Crawford, acting like a regular Thomas Gibson (but without the name recognition. Although, Thomas Gibson’s name also gives me a case of the Whos).
A few days ago, Chris Brown hopped on Twitter and said that he wants to go on a world tour with Beyonce, Bruno Mars, and Rihanna. The same Rihanna he violently assaulted almost exactly nine years ago. I’m starting to think that before Chris Brown’s monkey was taken into custody, she pooped in his food and gave him a case of the Motaba virus. Because that’s the kind of stupid thing you type when your brain is melting.
I’m going to assume that the editors of Interview magazine enjoy the smooth refreshing taste of crack in between story pitches, because their upcoming spread for September’s issue couldn’t have been conceived while sober. They have officially claimed silicone’s one-and-only BFF Kim Kardashian West as America’s New First Lady. Pull out your tissues, ladies and gentlemen, because you’re gonna roll your eyes so hard they may start to bleed.