Whenever I think of tax evasion pioneer Lauryn Hill I’m immediately reminded of Thanksgiving 1998 when me and my cousin were in my old blue Jeep house hopping and racking up plates like we were Shaggy and Scooby. During that ride, Lauryn’s classic masterpiece The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill provided the soundtrack for that day, and many days to come after that. Well, everyone listen up!! It’s been 20 years since Miseducation was released, and to commemorate the occasion Ms. Hill is embarking on a multicity tour beginning this summer.
In this fast-paced, constantly-changing world we live in, there are still a few things you can count on. The sun will always rise in the east. The struggle will always be real. And if you go to see Lauryn Hill perform, there’s a very good chance she will show up long after she’s scheduled to. And that’s if she shows up at all, of course. The last time we checked in on Lauryn Hill, she had allegedly bailed on performing at the 2016 Grammys. This weekend Lauryn was scheduled to perform a show in Atlanta, GA, and surprise, UsWeekly says she showed up two hours late.
Lauren clearly wasn’t feeling all the impatient types rudely tapping at their pretend wristwatches when she finally did arrive, so she took to Facebook. After the cut is Lauryn’s long-ass open letter where she explains why she doesn’t show up on time. According to Lauryn, it’s not because she stopped giving a shit years ago; it’s because her energy isn’t always synced-up with the time.
RiRi wasn’t the only one who pressed the stop button on her Grammys performance before it even started. Lauryn Hill did too. But while RiRi blamed bronchitis (uh huh, more like weedthroatitis) for keeping her down, Lauryn Hill blamed miscommunication. The miscommunication being that nobody told the Grammy people that Lauryn Hill is as unpredictable as a cokehead’s cum shot. Sometime it shows up right away and you’re surprised, and other times you jerk the peen for hours and it still doesn’t show up.
According to Recording Academy president Neil Portnow, Lauryn was supposed to perform with auto-correct’s enemy The Weeknd during the Grammys last night. But when he took the stage, Lauryn was nowhere on it. Lauryn’s duet with The Weeknd was supposed to be a surprise, but it wasn’t much a surprise since a picture of them rehearsing together leaked yesterday morning.