Hey, it’s my first Open Post! An Open Post virgin no longer! I can’t wait to read what ya’ll talk about today! If you’re hurting for subject matter – The Game (jesus please us, that name) put another pic of himself and his rod up on Instagram. This time it’s straining against his compression shorts and once again accompanied by an arkful of hashtags. The hashtags combine to form a lecture on how to treat your lady this Valentine’s Day. The Game’s idea of a good Valentine’s Day includes flowers, very expensive purses, and expertly applied cunnilingus. I’ll say it – The Game sounds like he and his formidable cock have got Valentine’s Day down pat!
#ValentinesDayWeekendSpecial #TimeToBreakTheInternetAgain #WhatIsHeDoingForYou #DoesHePayYourBills #ItAintTrickin #DoesHeTakeCareOfYourKids #DoesHeLickItFromTheFrontToTheBack #HasHeSlidUnderThatPussyLikeAMechanichAndTunedItUpWitHisTongue #AndHeBetNotSayValentinesDayIsForBothOfUs #ItsForWomen #NowHandleYourBusinessBeforeIDo #SheDeservesA5000DollarPurse #SheDeservesFlowersEveryday #WhatSheHasIsAReflectionOfYou #SoMakeHerLookLikeSheGotTheSameStylistAsAKardashian #EatHerPussyLikeSheMadeJesusTheLastSupper #RunHerBathsUntilTheWaterIsWarmAsAMiamiMorningInTheSpring #TreatThatWomanLikeBarackTreatsMichelle #EspeciallyIfSheTreatsYouLikeAyeshaTreatsSteph #YouHad364DaysToPrepareForSundayBihhhh #MakeThatWomanHappy #ifHeDont #SlideInTheDMAndWeGoneFigureItOut #MeatPrintPapiHasSpoken #DropsMic
Hallmark released a card for V-Day this year that mentioned “eating her pussy like she made the Last Supper,” didn’t they? If it’s not in the religious cards section, then it’s definitely under “Shoexbox.”
For those of you who would like to see “MeatPrintPapi’s” meatprint, the NSFW version is after the cut.
Next to cold water, Instagram has just become a huge enemy to us lovers of hard dicks. The Game is the current reigning Shakespeare of Instagram peen print pictures, because he regularly graces eyeballs with romantic hashtag sonnets along with exquisite portraits of his Hickory Farms summer sausage boner. But now the same evil demons who put an end to #EggplantFriday and repeatedly yanked down Chelsea Handler’s nipples want to erase The Game’s poetic hashtags and dick prints from their site.
TMZ says that the pictures of The Game’s dick have been flagged so many times that Instagram wants him to take them down. The pictures are still up as of right now. The Game claims that Instagram hasn’t sent him a takedown notice yet, but if they do, he’s taking his eggplant show to Snapchat where they let hard peens run wild.
@tmz_tv calls me to give me the scoop……. Shit been up for a month, now y'all threatening niggas lol #KanyeShrug #YouAPhoneAppButYouStillLikeTheSausage 😂😂😂😂😂😂 #ProbablyLilWeeWeeNiggasReportingIt #YoDaddyJustWasntPackinSoGeneticallyYourLifeFuckedUp #MyDaddyWasADragonSlayerOutHereAndItGotPassedDownToMe #MyGrandaddyWasASeaMonsterKiller #ItRunsInTheFamily #TaylorMeatPackingCompany #MEATPRINTPAPI has spoken….. Now back to this Daddy thing I'm doing over here…. #HatersGoneHatePotatosGonePotate lmaoooo…. So if my account mysteriously disappear, IG hatin on a player & I'll be on snap chat for the duration: "blackb0yfly" & if they do delete it…. All my women fans, post it in the name of my Instagram memory #LongLiveTheDingALingKing #UnBothered
This is a dick injustice! If Instagram bans The Game’s dick print, he’ll probably post more close-up pictures of his busted face tattoo and who wants that?! Every dude needs to form a Million Peens March on Instagram to protest against this wrongdoing!
(But if Instagram feels like they should take the pics down because those decorative towels are too ugly for eyes, then I’m all for that.)
You may remember (“How could I forget?” said everyone who still has the image of The Game’s giant party sub dick seared into their retinas) that two weeks ago, rapper-turned-aspiring fuck prose artiste The Game posted a picture of himself in his underwear to Instagram with a wall of nasty hashtags. Well, I have good news for those of you who looked at The Game’s lycra-wrapped bulge and yelled: “MORE! I DEMAND MORE!!!”; it looks like this is going to be a weekly thing now.
Last night, George Clooney and his tequila tasting partner Rande Gerber threw a pre-Halloween party sponsored by their tequila company, Casamigos, and – shock of all shocks, a bunch of Georgie’s famous friends showed up. Even though the Casamigos party was held on the day before Halloween, everyone still dressed up, because why wouldn’t you? When you’re rich as shit, you can afford to have your assistant stand in line outside of the Hell on Earth that is Party City 3 days before Halloween. Still, there’s always that one person who cannot muster a single fuck and shows up in regular clothes, and that person was Salma Hayek. Stars, they’re just like us!
There is literally nothing Halloween-y about Salma Hayek. It’s like she forgot about that shit, and decided to swing by on her way home from Barneys. Salma is giving me “pity pop-in“, and I love it. She probably told her rich-ass husband, François-Henri Pinault, that they were going to make an appearance at a party hosted by “some guy she worked with on From Dusk till Dawn” and assured him that it would “only take a second.”
Or maybe that is her costume: second wife of a French billionaire is a costume, right? But really, why bother putting in any effort when Jessica Alba is going to show up and shut everyone else down with her on-point Romy White costume.
That wig! You know someone is 100% into a costume when they spring for the good wig. For those of you screaming “BUT WHERE’S MICHELE???“, Jessica got a friend to dress up as Michele. I know, Cash Warren really dropped the ball on that one.
Here’s more famous types from George and Rande’s Casamigos party last night. Not pictured: George and Amal Clooney. I guess they decided to shock everyone and go as a couple who didn’t want to pose for the paps.
Rapper and Vh1 reality show wreck The Game celebrated Eggplant Friday early yesterday by dropping his huge visible dick print on Instagram. Once you see the picture, you’ll probably think to yourself that The Game really should’ve taken a tip from that gorgeous JcPenney decorative towel set in the background by putting a tassel on it. His dick print really would’ve popped if it had a tassel on it.
The Game doesn’t only let you know that your down parts will look like eggplant parmesan once his huge eggplant of a peen gets through with it, but he also whispered a long string of hashtags into the eyes of his followers. The Game’s hashtags are bigger than his dick. The full picture is after the cut. WARNING: As soon as you click over, you will be hit with a whole lot of dick, modesty, hashtag poetry and romance. #ICantBelieveHashtagSexIsAThingNow.
“I know you’re interested in the Gold, but what you really want is the Khrome Package. That extends your 12 month relationship with Khloe to 18 months, plus the option to upgrade to Kim at any time. In addition, you get a 30% profit share on the sex tape, a guaranteed 12 episode story arc on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and a 9% reduction on the hateful smear campaign that follows your eventual break-up. Now, if you’re ready to sign, I’m going to need a signature in blood, allegiance pledged to the Dark Lord Satan, and a valid California state driver’s license.”
It’s been nearly 2 months since Khloe slipped the DPs to Lamar Odom, which means she’s nearly met the Kardashian standard 72 day waiting period before moving on to a new fame whoring venture, and Pimp Mama Kris is already waiting in the wings ready to sink her teeth into another innocent victim. On Monday evening, Kris third wheeled the shit out of a date between her 3rd best money maker, KHLOTRON-2000, and rapper The Game at Club Tru in Hollywood. Now, I’m what the kids call ‘a square’, so my rap knowledge is limited to MC Skat Kat and Hammer’s Addams Family rap, but I do follow The Game on Instagram and despite that regretful L.A. Dodgers face tattoo, he seems to be a great father and a selfless philanthropist (that’s a big word that means he gets a boner from giving away money). What I’m trying to say is, The Game waaaaayy too good for these awful hoof-footed hell-whores. Even though Khloe is (I cannot believe I’m about to say this) the most tolerable Kardashian, she still shares DNA with Kris and Kim, ergo she’s been Touched By A Beelzebub, so my advice to The Game would be this. Do it now. Don’t look back. Dodge that bullet, buddy.
Here’s more of The Game partying with Khloe (who gives a real Sasquatch-in-the-headlights look when she’s caught off guard) as well as more of ‘Kool Mom’ Pimp Mama Kris pulling The Game aside to negotiate that contract: