Category: The Fuck R. Kelly Bench

R. Kelly Paid Off His Child Support And He Also Got A Second Chance In His Civil Lawsuit

May 9, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s a good-ish day for R. Kelly‘s legal problems.  No, the mounting evidence that R. Kelly is a creep of the highest order who likes ’em younger than young has not just suddenly disappeared or been disproven beyond reasonable doubt BUT he did pay some child support! And he also was given a second chance in a civil lawsuit against him after a judge decided to take pity on the poor rapper and reversed a decision against him. It’s the small victories for R. Kelly, I guess.

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R. Kelly Lost A Civil Lawsuit By Not Showing Up To Court

April 25, 2019 / Posted by:

R. Kelly is the type of dude who just has so many sexual assault allegations against him that he literally can’t keep them straight and actually will just not show up to a court hearing about one. At least, that’s what happened in Chicago when he decided that he would not answer to allegations that he sexually abused an underage girl in the late 1990s. I mean, hey, it happens! There’s just so darn many.

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R. Kelly Says His “Spirit” Made Him Do That Gayle King Interview

March 12, 2019 / Posted by:

I see R. Kelly is laying down groundwork for an insanity defense. Remember just a few days ago when R. Kelly–who is in the process of dealing with the major fallout of a documentary exposé and being hit with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse–decided it was a good time for an interview? Well, Kells has an explanation for why he did that, and it’s a good one. His “spirit” told him to.

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R. Kelly Tried To Set The Record Straight With An Interview With Gayle King. It Was Probably A Mistake

March 6, 2019 / Posted by:

You may have already seen a few clips of Robert Sylvester Kelly sobbing, raging, and speaking directly to the camera in his CBS This Morning interview with Gayle King. It was a lot. We all know that Robert’s reading comprehension is not quite up to grade level, so maybe he read the invitation wrong. Maybe instead of agreeing to sit down with an adult woman and answer some very basic questions about the allegations he’s facing, he thought instead he was agreeing to come in and audition for a community theater bible play about wrongfully persecuted man whose only crime was having too big a heart.

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R. Kelly Is Still In Jail Because He Can’t Afford Bail, And Michael Aventatti Says There’s Another Tape

February 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Robert Sylvester Kelly is broker inna mofo. In fact, Robert is so broke that he’s still sitting in jail today after turning himself in to Chicago police over the weekend and is unable to pay the $100,000 he needs to meet the minimum 10% on the $1 million bail bond that was set for him. If Robert has a pot to piss in, it’s courtesy of the Cook County Jail, and he probably has to share. And his woes don’t end there, despite the fact that his attorney Steve Greenberg entered the laughable plea of “not guilty” on all 10 charges of aggravated sexual assault he’s facing.

According to TMZ, Michael Avenatti has turned over an additional tape that allegedly depicts Robert sexually assaulting the same child that appears in the previous tape Michael turned over to the Cook County State’s Attorney. That one prompted the long overdue grand jury investigation, and the second tape sounds to be even more graphic and repugnant that the first.

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Sony Music To Drop R. Kelly

January 18, 2019 / Posted by:

The hits keep coming for Robert Sylvester Kelly, but not the kind he’s used to. Variety reports that his record label, Sony Music, has finally decided that optics matter and are moving to sever their working relationship with the (barely) sentient 200lb sack of excrement. They haven’t made an official announcement yet, but under the cover of night, RCA (a subsidiary of Sony) quietly removed his name from their roster of artists on their website.

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