Yesterday we learned that things between Jesse Williams and his estranged wife Aryn Drake-Lee were just as crappy as ever. Aryn was demanding a judge scrap their joint custody agreement and grant her sole custody of their two children. She accused Jesse of emotionally damaging their kids by getting laid and road-raging with his next-door neighbor. Jesse has something to say about all of that. Sort of.
Nick Carter and Aaron Carter. It was a much simpler time. A time before Aaron was accusing Nick of capitalizing on Aaron’s DUI arrest in Georgia last month for a little social media publicity, and Nick’s wife was all “Um, he’d call you if you gave him your phone number.” I’m sure this won’t come as a shock, but things still aren’t great between the Carter boys.
We will all remember this day. My grandchildren will one day sit at my feet and ask “Gammy, do you remember when Vanity Fair called Angelina Jolie a liar by publishing a transcript of her interview?” And I will say, yes children, I remember. And of course I’ll be telling said story from a bunker 40 feet below the ground, because there’s no way Angelina Jolie won’t mentally trigger the apocalypse after this.
Madonna stopped the drip, drip, drip of her past from continuing to ooze out this week by getting a judge to put a temporary halt on an auction filled with her ghosts of Christmas past. Items like letters Madge wrote claiming Whitney Houston and Sharon Stone were mediocre (blasphemy! That Basic Instinct snatch shot was anything but mediocre!) and even her old panties were up for grabs. Former friend/art (and apparently lingerie) collector Darlene Lutz was behind the auction, and TMZ says she’s swatting back at the Material Girl.
Darlene says she and Madonna settled a bitter dispute back in 2004. While she doesn’t say what the fight was about, I imagine it had something to do with Darlene giving her thoughts on American Life. The panty peddler claims the settlement included her giving Madonna cash and, in return, Madge wouldn’t go after Darlene for anything. That’s more open-ended than a b-hole at Twink Wink in P-town! I have a hard time believing Kabbalah’s favorite Kween would ever pull a punch like that. This is the same hawk who charges $200 for nosebleed seats!
Darlene adds that she has the right to do whatever with Madge’s filthy drawers since they were a gift of sorts courtesy of the United States Postal Service: “If Madonna truly wanted privacy, then mailing her lingerie was not the way to go.” Mailing her panties? Now THAT sounds more like Madge!
Ben Affleck and his new lady (or old lady, depending on how long you believe they’ve been hooking up) SNL producer Lindsay Shookus were spotted on a date night last night in Los Angeles. They look so happy! I’ve never seen two people more thrilled about getting papped with doggy bags and to-go cups of…what is that, 18 shots of espresso cut with liquid weed? It must be – I mean, look how damn buzzed they look. But it isn’t all red-faced smiles for Lindsay. According to People, shit is really awkward between Lindsay and Ben’s ex-wife Jennifer Garner.
Lena Dunham used to have a rescue dog named Lamby, and for a while he was the star of her Instagram. He was always getting into some kind of panty-chewing trouble and general canine urine mischief. Then Lamby got into some real trouble a couple years ago when he bit Lena in the ass and drew blood. Lamby wasn’t on Lena’s Instagram that much after that. That was over three years ago, and Lena came clean about where Lamby went. She claims Lamby was a very abused puppy and she just couldn’t handle his special needs. Except according to the Brooklyn dog rescue where she got Lamby, she’s lying.