I don’t know if Demi Lovato’s New Year’s resolution was to drag every popular female artist from the music industry into as many messy cat fights as possible, but it’s starting to look that way. So far in 2016, Demi has come for Taylor Swift, then Nicki Minaj, then Taylor Swift again. And now she’s starting a fight that includes Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, and Jennifer Lopez.
“Hahahaha! Bye Becky! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!” is what I like to imagine Beyonce thought when she heard that Rachel Roy bailed. But really, that would require me to suspend my belief that Beyonce’s thoughts consist solely of giving compliments to herself. “Congratulations, Beyonce – you look wonderful tonight.”
Both Beyonce and the woman who seems unable to escape Beyonce’s dramatic gravity pull were both at the CFDA Awards on Monday night in NYC. Yesterday I joked that it was shocking that the Beyhive didn’t completely lose their shit after learning that Beyonce and that husband-humping skank Rachel Roy were at the same event. As it turns out, they technically weren’t there at the same time. Page Six says that once Rachel learned that Beyonce would be making a surprise appearance to collect her Fashion Icon award, she left. Such drama!
Shortly after Rachel arrived, people started whispering on social media that they saw Jay Z and Blue Ivy Carter pulling up to the CFDA Awards, followed by Tina Knowles. That set off a giant emergency siren in Rachel Roy’s head. A source claims she got up from the table she was sitting at, picked up her place card, and left. The source adds that she never came back, and that it was “weird.” However, a friend of Rachel tells Page Six that she had no intention of staying for the whole thing because she had an early-morning flight the next day to L.A. “Of course she did” said everyone who has ever used the I-need-to-be-up-early-for-a-thing excuse to get out of a bad date.
Rachel has denied being the Becky that Beyonce hisses at in “Sorry“, so it’s a little weird that she would respond to Beyonce’s possible arrival like a dog that just heard someone turn on the vacuum. Who knows? Maybe she did actually have an early-morning flight the next day. That might explain why she looked so stiff on the red carpet. I’m no body language expert, but she’s definitely giving me the vibes of someone who is anxious to get home and transfer all her liquids into tiny TSA-approved bottles.
Usually the warm feeling around my heart is the result of eating too many Doritos before noon, but today it was caused by the cuteness that is a picture of a baby leaving an airplane while holding an airplane.
Despite the fact that Future Zahir is only two days away from turning 2, it feels like Ciara and her ex-fiance Future have been dragging him into their drama since the beginning of time. Or at least shortly after the beginning of his time. Three months after Ciara and Future became parents, they split up, then got back together a month later, then split up again. Then Ciara started seeing Russell Wilson and letting him hang out with Baby Future, which pissed Future off enough to publicly slap at Ciara’s parenting skills and accuse her of denying him daddy time. That pissed Ciara off and she slapped him with a $15 million defamation lawsuit. Future responded by counter-suing. Which brings us to yesterday.
According to TMZ, Ciara 1-2 stepped into a courtroom yesterday and asked a judge for sole custody of Baby Future, and I’m pretty sure you can guess the reason why. If you said “Because Ciara accused him of being a crappy dad?“, congratulations, you’ve won a glamorous prize (the plastic bowtie from a Jewel Secrets Ken doll). Future was also in the courtroom yesterday, and his contribution to the conversation was to ask for joint custody. The judge agreed, and decided that Ciara and Future will share joint custody.
Neither Ciara nor Future have said anything about their new custody arrangement, but I’m going to go out on a limb and assume Ciara probably isn’t very happy about it. But she needs to look on the bright side: Baby Future spending more time at daddy’s house means more time to practice walking slowly down the aisle at her wedding. Look, if I was about to marry a dude who asked me to wait until our wedding night for sex, I’d need to get in as much practice as possible not to sprint full-speed down the aisle.
Apparently Ruby Rose has more in common with Justin Bieber than just delicate faces and a love of random tattoos. On Friday, Ruby Rose, from Orange is the New Black, was kicked out of a bar in New Orleans. Ruby Rose was kicked out after she got into a fight with bar staff and assaulted them with french fries.
You know you’re so goddamn happy to be done with someone when you’re willing to kiss them. That’s true hate, right there. So today was Michael Strahan’s last day on Live! With Kelly and Michael before he moves on to GMA, and shockingly enough the show didn’t end with Kelly Ripa grabbing a mic and screaming “HIT IT, GELMAN!” before launching into a high-energy karaoke version of NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.” It did, however, end with Michael being played off like his Oscar speech was running on too long.
Maybe it’s because I always have Waiting to Exhale on the brain, but when those pictures of Orlando Bloom snuggling up on Selena Gomez in a booth at a Las Vegas club hit the internet earlier this week, I expected Katy Perry to Instagram a video of herself in Orlando, Florida tossing a lit match onto a rental car filled with his clothes. But she didn’t do that. I’m guessing because Jeremy Scott couldn’t get the cartoon flames right on her scorned woman costume. Instead, she waited until last night and kept it vague-ish by tweeting a link to Peggy Lee’s “Is That All There Is?”
Is that all there is? https://t.co/54Q72MfXND
— KATY PERRY (@katyperry) May 12, 2016
Just for some context, the third verse of “Is That All There Is?” is about a woman who falls in love with a guy and they go on long walks and shit. And then one day he up and leaves, and she thinks she’s going to be super bummed about it, but she just sort of shrugs. For once I can say “How very subtle of you” and actually mean it. Or maybe this is just the beginning, and a Lemonade-style tell-all album called Perryer is coming later.
Selena Gomez, meanwhile, would like you to know that she has been dating, but won’t say who, because that’s personal!
It’s been three weeks since Kelly Ripa hauled Michael Strahan and the powers that be at Disney into a metaphorical parking lot and got into a dramatic morning show fight over Michael’s exit from Live! With Kelly and Michael. In that time, a whole lot has happened. Kelly took a break, then Kelly came back and gave a “For Your Consideration“-worthy Emmy nomination speech about respect in the workplace. I thought Kelly’s speechwriter crammed in everything she had to say that day, but apparently she has more thoughts on the matter.
Meghan Trainor Pulled Her Latest Music Video Because She Thinks They Went Overboard On The Photoshop
I have some bad news for those of you who are looking at this screen shot of a Wynonna-looking Meghan Trainor standing with dancers that look like they were borrowed from a low-budget fan edit of Aqua’s “Lollipop (Candyman)” and are wishing that you could watch an entire music video of it. The music video that goes with that screen grab has been deleted forever by Meghan Trainor herself. Well, at least that specific version of that video.
Shortly after Michael Strahan announced that he was taking the Michael out of Live! with Kelly and Michael and taking it over to Good Morning America, there were whispers that ABC had already drafted up a short list of replacements for him. Two names that were being thrown around were Anderson Cooper and Neil Patrick Harris, because I guess ABC was really feeling the idea of replacing Michael with a blue-eyed gay dreamboat.
But it sounds like ABC might want to think about throwing some lady names on that list too, because there could be a chance they’ll be replacing Kelly Ripa as well. A source tells UsWeekly that Kelly really wants Michael to be replaced by either Anderson Cooper (whose book she was not-so-subtly seen carrying around yesterday) or Andy Cohen. The source claims that if ABC doesn’t hire one Kelly’s choices to sit beside her, she’s thinking about leaving. And not in the “Bye bitches, see you in a couple days” way either. According to said source, Kelly is still a little pissed about the way things were handled with Michael that she’s ready to put in her permanent walking papers unless she gets her way. But wait, Kelly told us yesterday that everything is fine! I just don’t know what to believe anymore.
Kelly isn’t exactly reaching for a box to pack up her things just yet. ABC is still deciding who they want. They’re also apparently adding more names to the list. According to UsWeekly, they’re also considering Jerry O’Connell. But it doesn’t look good for Kelly. Anderson is currently busy covering the election, and Andy is under contract with Bravo for Watch What Happens Live. I guess if Kelly does end up quitting, that would give Disney a good excuse to pull the plug on Live! and give GMA that third hour they’ve been rumored to be looking at. Hmmm…how convenient for you, Disney.
I understand wanting to work with your friends, but this is all a tad dramatic. Would it honestly be so unbearable to make morning show small talk with Neil Patrick Harris while your bank account gets stuffed with millions of dollars? Hell, if the price was right, I’m sure NPH would throw a little silver in his hair if that’s what will do it for Kelly.
Kelly Ripa Makes Her Triumphant Return To Live! And Gave A Sermon About Respect In The Workplace (UPDATE)
Everyone can pull off their veils, get up from their knees and snuff out their prayin’ candles, because the sun is shining again now that Kelly Ripa has bravely returned to the job that pays her $15 million+ a year. God is great!
Kelly Ripa went back to work at Live! with Kelly and Michael this morning after she took a little time off to deal with Disney and her co-host of 4 years Michael Strahan doing her dirty. Kelly felt disrespected when ABC and Michael didn’t tell her beforehand that he’s leaving the show she’s been on FOREVER to do Good Morning America full-time. There were also rumors that ABC doesn’t really care about Live!, even though it’s the second highest-rated syndicated morning show, and want to push it aside to make way for an extra hour of GMA. Kelly got into those rumors as well as the rumors that she and Michael hate each other’s faces so, so much.