Charo Thinks Sofia Vergara Is CaCa

Since J. Harvey started the day off with Sinead O’Connor, it’s only fitting that we segue from one difficult brown to another. Latina says that Charo took a little break from coochie-coochiing (I guess it’s cuchi-cuchi, I just wanted to type “coochie”) to drag Sofia Vergara, snatch her wig, wipe her wet ass with it and stomp it into the ground. On the red carpet at the ALMA Awards, someone asked Charo what she thinks about people comparing her to Sofia since they both have thick accents, thick curves, and in yo face personalities. Charo was not the one that day, and maybe she’d stopped off at Taco Bell before the event because she shat all over that question.

Her response? “Sofia Vergara is Charo with diarrhea.”

OH booty burn!!!  The dark brown liquidy shade of it all.  I love older people because they don’t give one fuck about telling you exactly what they think, and I love Charo just for being Charo so this is like an early Christmas present wrapped in rancid farts and used toilet paper. And you know the only public apology Sofia’s getting from Charo is “Get Pepto Bismol, bitch”.

Sofia gave a lazy backhand in return at the LA premiere of Machete Kills when she said “Of course she doesn’t like it. No one likes being compared with someone else, especially someone younger.” Sofia is 41 and Charo is 62 timeless. Okay, that might burn just a little, but not as much as having a case of the scorching soupy browns. Team Charo!! And somewhere out there, Terrance Howard is offering Sofia a wet wipe.

Thank you La Spotty!