Category: The Bachelor

Ellen Pompeo Defends Kelly Ripa’s Hatred Of “The Bachelorette” While Hannah Brown Does Damage Control 

May 16, 2019 / Posted by:

The battle of the ABC shows started with Kelly Ripa slamming The Bachelor and The Bachelorette saying it “disgusts” her because she hates seeing women fight with each other over a man. This set off a fire storm of conflict (sort of). The producer of the show Mike Fleiss checked Kelly on Twitter and so did Bachelor host Chris Harrison. Well don’t worry Kelly, because you have people on your side, too. Specifically one of the highest paid actresses on network television, Grey’s Anatomy‘s Head Bitch: Ellen Pompeo.

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Kelly Ripa Is “Disgusted” By “The Bachelorette”

May 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Kelly Ripa got a strongly worded email and a tense phone call this morning for sure, because she has come after one of the biggest shows on ABC, which her morning show Live With Kelly And Ryan is on. On her show yesterday, Kelly said that she loathes The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. In fact she says they’re “disgusting”. As disgusting as working with Ryan Seacrest? Well, now two of the dons of Bachelor Nation are checking Kelly for trying to drag their money-making, engagement-slinging, relationship-regurgitating, scripted television behemoth.

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Breaking News: Virgin Bachelor Thinks Period Panties Are Gross

April 4, 2019 / Posted by:

For a man who I’m sure has spent the better part of his life being called Colton Underwear, TV’s The Bachelor Colton Underwear (ok, Underwood) doesn’t know very much about his namesake. Colton recently appeared on a show called LadyGang (it’s not nearly as cool as it sounds, they do NOT have matching satin jackets) and received the shock of his life when he learned that women generally don’t throw their panties out every time they get their period. Upon hearing about period panties, Colton showed his ass by screaming “that is so gross!” and inadvertently let every one know he shits his pants on the regular by comparing the two. Apparently this has pissed some people off, but why are they surprised? His name is COLTON UNDERWOOD.

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Khloé Kardashian Is Allegedly “In Contention” To Be The Next “Bachelorette”

February 23, 2019 / Posted by:

Tragic newly single mom and crypt message poster Khloé Kardashian‘s recent romantic woes have supposedly made her a contender for The Bachelorette. At least that’s what The Bachelor/ette franchise creator Mike Fleiss wants you to believe. Fleiss obviously hasn’t considered the many reasons why Khloe, 34, could never be the next Bachelorette. One is that, upon hearing the news, every rose (including the plastic ones) on the planet said “fuck that noise” and shriveled into nothingness. So both series are canceled now because roses don’t exist anymore. Thanks for that, Khloé (no shade).

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“The Bachelor” Has Tried Repeatedly To Get One Of The Property Brothers

September 11, 2018 / Posted by:

If you’re into home repair, brunettes, and thick Canadian accents, Drew and Jonathan Scott (Jonathan’s on the left in what appears to be some kind of goth camo tuxedo) are probably hot to you. Drew and Jonathan are suitable hunks for HGTV, but what about primetime? Well, Drew appeared on the 25th season of Dancing with the Stars, and now we’re learning that Jonathan has been courted not once, but possibly four times for The Bachelor.

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One Of The Contestants On “The Bachelor” Has Accused Him Of DM’ing Other Girls

March 6, 2018 / Posted by:

If you’re one of the unlucky people who are trapped in the seemingly cult leader-like trance of The Bachelor (your family missed and loves you!), then you know that last night’s 22nd season finale was messier than the shelf of urine sample cups after a round of contestant testing. The bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr., had two women left: Becca Kufrin and Lauren Burnham. Like fucking every bachelor on The Bachelor ever, he claimed to be in love with both of them and that it was a very “tough decision.

As it turns out, the toughest part about that decision was making it and then telling everyone involved he wanted a do-over. Arie chose to propose to Becca Kufrin in Peru. Then when they get back to Los Angeles a few months later, Arie surprises Becca with a camera crew and the news that he’s cancelling their engagement, and that he’ll be hooking up with Lauren now. And now a former Bachelor contestant is claiming that’s not nearly the sleaziest thing Arie has been up to.

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