It’s already off to the damn races for the 2020 Oscars, and Elton John helped Taron Egerton launch his campaign to become Rami Malek 2.0 last night. Elton always throws a big Oscars bash since it’s his annual big dick contest with Madonna and her own Oscars bash. Taron, who is playing Elton in the upcoming Rocketman, actually sang “Tiny Dancer” at Elton’s party, and El was more than happy to oblige since Madge and Gaga’s publicity stunt couldn’t DARE be the news of the night.
The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
Does AMI have a blackmail department in their building? Maybe somewhere between human resources and accounting? Sounds like because, along with Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos and crusading celebrity journalist Ronan Farrow, Terry Crews is claiming that The National Enquirer’s parent company tried to blackmail him, too.
You wouldn’t think Terry Crews would ever have to prove he’s the bigger man in any situation. I mean just look at the size of him! But he’s been doing it all the same, over and over again on Twitter by championing the cause of victims of sexual assault and tackling toxic masculinity head-on. I didn’t mean to make a sportsball reference, but since Terry used to play in the NFL, I’m going to let it stand. Ever since Terry filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against talent agent Adam Venit during the peak of the #metoo movement, some spectacularly ashy individuals have been coming at him from all directions, mocking him, and challenging his masculinity. And he’s fighting back.
If you didn’t know about the rumors, allegations, lawsuits, and accompanying personal accounts of rape and abuse of young men and boys at the hands of Bryan Singer before, you do now. The elephant that was sitting over in the corner this whole time just stood up and took a giant dump all over the coffee table (no offense to elephants). One would think that the well-researched article at The Atlantic would cause Hollywood to step away from Bryan completely, but with friends like Millennium Films chairman Avi Lerner at his side, he’s gonna be just fine. Bohemian Rhapsody was pulled from the GLAAD Awards, but he’s still going to be better than fine even.
Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!