Alaskan spawning salmon Bristol Palin is joining the cast of MTV’s Teen Mom OG for their upcoming eighth season. Despite Bristol not being a teen (she’s 27) or an original member of the 16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom cast, she’ll be front and center on MTV’s long-running reality show about the lives and loves of surly young women, their dumb and/or beleaguered sperm donors, and their unfortunate children. And she’s being paid $250K for the privilege! That’s a lot of bail money to cover the aftermath of the Palin family’s next drunk-ass snowmobile hoedown. Continue reading
MTV knows that the best way to get over losing one extremely messy attention-loving former teen mom is to replace her with an equally-messy attention-loving former teen mom. And lucky for them that Bristol Palin answered her phone when they called! No, really – she’s probably spent the past month screening her calls so she doesn’t have to listen to her mom whine about getting tricked by Borat.
Are you ready for the most exciting and classy “celebrity” feud of the decade–NAY–the millennium? Well, this ain’t it.
Farrah Abraham, of Teen Mom and backdoor fame, ran over to UsWeekly to complain about Drita D’Avanzo, of Mob Wives and Staten Island Women’s Correctional fame. Apparently the two did an event together and Farrah found Drita to be rather unprofessional. Well, a mess who got famous for screaming at her mother whenever she was offered child-care assistance definitely knows a thing or two about professionalism. Continue reading
The hallways of the offices of Viacom’s legal team must be filled with champagne and clogged phone lines from everyone calling their pharmacist to cancel the bulk order of Percocet. Because Farrah Abraham has dropped her $5 million lawsuit against the company and the makers of Teen Mom. Continue reading
A million years ago (in the 90’s, to be more specific), I knew a lot of teen moms growing up and none of them got paid to be on their own damn TV show. Honestly, the only checks they received came from WIC. That all changed in 2009 when MTV’s reality series Teen Mom introduced a bunch of girls with babies into our lives.
Fast forward to 2017 where one of the moms, Amber Portwood, may be following in fellow Teen Mom alum (and Dlisted patron saint of bad decision making) Farrah Abraham into the lovely world of having protein slurpees chucked into her face (AKA porn).
Former HSOTD, “world pop artist” and the white magic sorceress of style Z La La once again used her wizard powers to bring some much-needed sparkle to the MTV VMAs
red carpet FLOR carpet. Z LaLa was a spectacular glittery flower in the middle of a field of dull weeds.
Z LaLa not only has a stage name like a Teletubby, but last night she looked like a Teletubby after getting stuck while trying to shape-shift into Lady Gaga. Z LaLa was perfection from the tippity top of her cone dildo wig to the bottom hem of her exploding Christmas ribbon dress. Someone needed to show up to that dreadful award show looking like a Conehead witch who works part-time as an emcee in a Cirque du Soleil show and thank god that Z LaLa was that someone.
Z LaLa strikes me as the kind of fashion icon who really commits to her look and goes all the way, so I’m sure the drapes match the carpet. If you lifted her dress, I’m sure you’d find a long cone of pubes hanging off of her crotch. Z LaLa is also pretty brave for wearing a long black dildo wig to an event where Kartrashians will be. I’m sure Z LaLa had security guards who kept the Kartrashians from trying to climb up her body to fuck her wig.
And one of my other favorite looks of the night came from Our Robotic Lady of Cheetos and her suffocating chichis:
Daddy Spears should give a raise to whoever is responsible for doing Brit Brit up like Double Trouble from She-Ra in the uniform she wears to serve cocktails at a 2-star casino in Reno.
And here’s 6,000 pictures from the VMAs carpet. You should just stop clicking when you get to Rebecca Black, because it doesn’t get more A-listery or relevant than her.