Of all the songs on Taylor Swift’s latest album Reputation, which dropped last night, it was my understanding that “Look What You Made Me Do” was the “I HATE KANYE” song. How naive I was. People says that on her album is a song called “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” and it’s another diss track about Kanye West. Thank goodness Taylor has more than one song about Kanye, otherwise we just wouldn’t know how she felt about him.
Sorry, Taylor Swift’s cat, but it sounds like there’s a chance you’ll no longer be the number-one benefactor of her will. Don’t tell me that’s not already the case; Taylor Swift totally strikes me as the type of person to leave millions to her cats.
A source tells People that Taylor Swift is very serious about her current boyfriend Joe Alwyn. More serious than giving him her cookies or writing songs about him. Taylor’s friends think that Joe could be “the one.” Normally “the one” in Taylor’s world means the one she gushes over for 6-to-9 months before the contract ends and she calls him a loser in a series of songs. But this time it actually means the one.
“It’s a great relationship that everyone hopes will last. Joe could definitely be the one. Their relationship is very different from Taylor’s past ones. They much prefer having dinner parties at home with friends than going out. Just like Taylor, Joe is a homebody. He loves being an actor but doesn’t like the celebrity part of it.”
We probably shouldn’t expect to hear wedding bells just yet. Joe still has to pass Taylor’s official commitment test: displaying major levels of corniness on Instagram. Then, and only then, can she consider him in the running for her husband. But I’m sure that hasn’t stopped Taylor from dreamily writing wedding vows in her diary. “I, Taylor Swift, take this conventionally handsome blonde guy, to be Mr. Taylor Swift, to help smite my enemies, for richer or richer, ’til a breakup album does us part?”
We’re just two days away from the day Taylor Swift and her legion of fans have been waiting with baited snake breath for: the release of her sixth studio album, Reputation. Except there’s already album drama. Drama? With Taylor? Shocking.
The only person who likes Taylor Swift more than Taylor Swift is her lawyers; girl provides them with a lot of work. Taylor put her lawyers to work recently on a writer who wrote some things Taylor didn’t like regarding her popularity in the white supremacy community. Thanks to a little thing called free speech, that fight isn’t going so well for Taylor.
I’m pretty sure Diplo must just like the whirling of snake emoji notifications on his iPhone, because he should know by now that when you make fun of Taylor Swift, her legion of psychotic conformists fans will turn out in droves to go Don Corleone on your social media. He already made fun of her ass – or lack thereof – and now he did it again by mocking her music. Continue reading
For all the downsides there are to dating Taylor Swift, like chronic neck pain from constantly nodding “Yes, of course you’re right“, there seems to be one big benefit: your career gets a boost. Before hooking up with Taylor Swift, Joe Alwyn would have to book jobs based on his own name. But Taylor Swift’s boyfriend doesn’t have to work so hard anymore. Vanity Fair says that Joe Alwyn is now the face of Prada’s newest men’s campaign. Congratulations, Joe – I’m sure your neck is killing you, but just think of the exposure.