One of the crazier things that I totally believed in my early days at Dlisted was the story that Taylor Swift was so sick of paparazzi stalking her ass that she just dove into a box (hehehe) and was moved right by them without them being able to take a photo of her doing her usual traipse to the gym, to Candy Land, or to Karlie Kloss’. Alas, Tay’s team is a buch of fuddy-duddies, and they made SPIN (who wrote the original story) retract their reporting. What they didn’t count on was a former boy bander going rogue and ratting her out!
— SPIN 1038 (@spin1038) July 17, 2017
Vogue U.K. interviewed Zayn, and I have a feeling he may have caused things to be a little awkward between his girlfriend Gigi Hadid and her BFF Tay. I guess Zayn was talking about working with Tay on that song they did for one of the 50 Shades Of Grey movies, and he blabbed, “She was travelling around in a suitcase.” Oh! He said it was her way of getting around avoiding paparazzi, and I’m sure she just loved that he shared that. I’d watch it if I were you, Zayn! To punish you, she may bring back the Fourth of July party just to be able to force you into eating her patriotic baked goods and sulk in a corner watching her gaggle Yankee Doodle pop stars squeal at how they broke free from your native land.
It wasn’t that long ago when a great way to move papers was just to call John Mayer and ask him to talk about life (Sexual napalm! David Duke dick! Inspiring half the Taylor Swift songbook!) or just write about his love (?) life. John would like us to all know that is John 1.0. John 2.0 is a sensitive soul who is more at home at the Women’s March than the Playboy Mansion grotto.
Yesterday the midterm elections were held, and this year we learned that the former politically-averse Taylor Swift had no plans on sitting home on election day, throwing a ball of yarn at her cats while squealing “Aw, I vote for cuteness!”
Taylor encouraged people to register to vote, and to get out and vote, and if you lived in Tennessee, to vote for Democratic Senate candidate Phil Bredesen over the Republican incumbent Marsha Blackburn. Marsha Blackburn was re-elected, and Taylor was trolled by Republicans.
Model and international hacker Karlie Kloss got married last week to the Kushner brother who isn’t totally diabolical, Joshua Kushner. The wedding was a very small, intimate situation with less than 80 people in attendance. One of those people was notably not longtime best friend, Miss Taylor Swift. People were trying to figure out if Karlie is still in the Junior Jewels or not, but don’t worry, Taylor is ready to once again give us cryptic clues hinting at the nature of their relationship. It’s sort of like The Da Vinci Code but Taylor Swift.
It was my understanding that Mariah Carey had totally solved America’s voting turnout problem the second she slipped on one of Diddy’s “VOTE OR DIE” t-shirts and thus inspiring every eligible voter in the nation to line up at the polls from now until the end of time. But apparently there are still who will consider sitting at home for the midterm elections on November 6th. Thankfully Taylor Swift has stepped up and made voting her mission of the moment.
I figured the first rule of Taylor Swift friendship was you don’t talk about Taylor Swift friendship, but Lena Dunham doesn’t play by rules. When she was on Andy Cohen’s shit-stirring show known as Watch What Happens Live, she was asked to play “Plead The Fifth” with fellow guest Maggie Gyllenhaal. While her answer for who was the most misogynistic in Hollywood (Daniel Tosh for body shaming her), even I let out an anxious squeak when Andy asked Lena to say who was her least-favorite Taylor ex…while she sat next to the sister of one of Taylor’s exes!