During the presidential election, nearly every pop trick in the land risked losing a piece of their fanbase by opening their mouth to either speak against Donald Trump or support Hillary Clinton, or both. Katy Perry did. Lady Gaga did. Madonna did. Beyonce did. Adele, who’s not even American, did. And so did the Queen of Pop Paula Abdul. But Taylor Swift never did and it DIVIDED A NATION! Many think pieces were written about how Tay Tay needed to say something, especially since she’s made feminism part of her “brand.” Others felt like it’s not her duty to talk about political shit. Lena Dunham, who talked a lot during the election and afterward, is on the side that is defending Taylor, Plain and Tall.
Critics’ darling Frank Ocean withdrew his hugely successful (both critically and commerically) Blonde album from Grammy consideration this year and won’t be performing.
In an interview with Rolling Stone (via Pitchfork), Grammy producers Ken Ehrlich and David Wild were asked why this was so. They responded by opining that Frank’s performance of his song “Forrest Gump” at the 2013 Grammys sucked and that he didn’t want to give us the sequel. Frank took to Tumblr to refute this, and explain exactly why he wasn’t Grammy-bound this year. And it’s all Taylor Swift’s fault (everything is)!
Ed Sheeran did an interview with the Brazilian site Capricho and of course that means he talked about Taylor Swift. Ed specifically talked about how Taylor goes to James Bond lengths of crazy to make sure that her songs don’t leak onto the internet. Taylor once said in an interview that she gets paranoid about being wiretapped and secretly recorded (cut to her head popping off over Kim Kartrashian secretly recording her). And apparently, she’s also paranoid about her music leaking. Tay Tay must think that her songs are as precious and valuable as a Collector’s Edition DVD of Showgirls signed by Gina Gershon, the top secret recipe for an Orange Julius and a rubber replica of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda, because she spends a lot of money to protect them.
Tom Hiddleston should keep a lighter in his pants pocket at all times. That way whenever anyone brings up that mortifying moment when he traded in his dignity for a little pap fame by wearing that I ♥ T.S. tank top out in public, he can set his pants on fire and say, “Oh look, my pants are on fire. I have to go. Bye.” But during a two day-long interview with GQ’s Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Tom was asked about the most embarrassing clothing item since the skort and he goes on and on and on about it and gets deep. That would’ve been the perfect time for Tom to quote his former employer Taylor Swift by saying, “I would like to be excluded from this narrative.”
Taylor Swift and Zayn Malik’s song I Don’t Wanna Live Forever is ten layers of annoying wrapped in twenty layers of unsexy, so it’s perfect for the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack. The video for it, which came out last night, is also perfect, because like a Fifty Shades movie, you’ll want to turn it off after 15 seconds. That’s if you don’t fall into a boredom-induced coma first.
But while many sprained the muscles in their face from cringing over Tom Hiddleston’s self-absorbed acceptance speech, I nearly squirted out a tear over how he and Taylor Swift didn’t make it past the contract renegotiation stage. I learned last night that they are really perfect for each other. They both seem to love a shameless photo-op and they both have a gift for making absolutely everything about them. They really were a match made in ME ME ME HELL.