Your part is done, Calvin Harris. You can move on now. The Taylor Swift ex and nondescript DJ has posted a Snapchat video of himself lip-synching to Kanye West’s verse on Schoolboy Q’s “That Part.” This could be some shade for his ex as she’s currently….oh you know.
Calvin also could have been emulating Kim Kartrashian, who posted a Snapchat video of her own (do these people ever put their fucking phones down?) in which she mouths the line from “Famous” that has ruined reputations and sparked a culture war! (I’m just trying to psych myself up for having to post about this again. Forgive me.)
Calvin might still be salty over the Snake Squad head spilling the tea on her authorship of his hit single with Rihanna, “This Is What You Came For.” Calvin, have a seat and take a look at this photo. That could have been you. You could have been wearing that. Anyone wearing that has his balls cozied away in a popsicle stick purse that a certain fork-tongued blonde pop star crafted herself at summer camp. You don’t want to be that guy.
Check out Calvin Harris’ video below.
Selena Gomez kicked off the international leg of her Revival Tour in Indonesia last night on her 24th birthday. Birthdays can hit you hard. This one apparently kicked Selena’s ass because she got teary on stage while introducing her closing song “Kill Em’ With Kindness.” Afterwards, she got social media-teary on Instagram. It was some “I need to do better” rambling. Wow, Project “Taylor Swift Has Been Victimized, You Guys” can stress a gal out.
Emoji mogul, Slut Walk founder, and now talk show host Amber Rose has something to say. Has she a talk show? Good on her! This clip (see below) didn’t irritate me. It’s because Amber’s ENORMOUS boobs transfixed me. They look like she’s yoked two feeding piglets. Those are some mammaries. Tits aside, Amber used her new VH-1 talk show as a platform from which to provide the earth with her take on the Kim and Kanye Kardashian-West vs. Taylor Swift situation. Did Amber attend the #KimExposedTaylorParty? Did she add a snake emoji to that deceptive Laura Ingalls Wilder impersonator’s Instagram? Kinda.
USWeekly reports that Amber, admitting that she’s not her ex MC Finger Puppet’s “biggest fan,” cited the 2009 VMAs “Ima let you finish“ incident as evidence that Kanye wouldn’t go in on Tay Tay again.
“It was just a very hard time for him,” she recalled. “I watched people say that they did not want to work with him anymore because of it. … I know that Kanye would never ever go through that again by not calling Taylor and say, ‘Heads up, I’m about to go write this verse real quick. Just wanted to make sure you’re cool with it,’” Rose said. “I know that about Kanye.”
“So, I say all of that to say: Why didn’t I get a phone call for using a naked wax figure in your video, Kanye?” Rose said to the camera, referring to West’s controversial “Famous” music video, which features a bevy of famous faces naked in bed with the musician. “I mean, Taylor gets a call but I don’t get a call. … Please stay the f–k out of the news so I don’t need to talk about your ass anymore.”
Wiser words have NEVER been spoken. Make sure that applies to the WHOLE family, Yeezus.
Check out more pics of Amber Rose filming her show on Hollywood Blvd. on Wednesday below.
The Daily Mail has thrilling pictures of the diabolical piece of julienned jicama Taylor Swift smiling while walking with Tom Hiddleston in Los Angeles yesterday. Yes, the people of the Gold Coast in Australia can once again leave their homes without a bottle of Pepto on them, because now that Tom and Taylor are gone, they won’t get hit with the heaves while watching those two display their love in a photo-op.
Tom has finished up filming his scenes for Thor 3 in Australia, so he and Taylor are back in California, where they’ll probably spend the next few weeks with a choreographer and a body language expert who will coach them on how to look so naturally in love while posing on the red carpet at the Emmys in September. A source tells E! News that Tom and Tay are still very much together and the entire scandal of her getting exposed as a liar by Kim Kartrashian, of all tricks, didn’t dim the love he has in his heart for her.
Taylor is still painting a thick layer of victim all over herself and thinks that Kimye are just using her for publicity (well, yeah, but pot…kettle). She has vowed to never speak to Kanye again! And Tom has vowed to stand by Taylor forever! A source read from the script that Taylor’s publicist gave them, I mean, spilled out these spontaneous words to E!:
“Tom is not annoyed by the negative media attached to Taylor. He knew that would come with the course of dating her. He has been supporting her and enjoying the time he’s having with her. They’re having a great time and are always laughing.
Taylor and Tom are in love with each other. He told her she is the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with. They have gotten very close. She is enjoying the time off from working. She has been writing during her travels, and Tom has been an inspiration in her music.”
What I’m getting from that statement is that if there is a relationship contract, that shit is no joke and the out clause portion of it probably reads:
ONLY DEATH! BLEHEHEHEHEHEHEE!
It feels like the only thing anyone has wanted to talk about (or more accurately, stop talking about) this week has been the Snapchat war between Kimye and the human snake emoji Taylor Swift. So not surprisingly, 22-year-old Canadian tennis star Eugenie Bouchard was asked about it during a press conference on Tuesday.
TMZ says Eugenie spoke to reporters after she was eliminated at the Citi Open in Washington, D.C. Once reporters got all of the tennis questions out of the way, one of them asked her if she was Team Taylor or Team Kimye. Eugenie is a Canadian person, so I figured her answer to start with a “Pardon?” and end with a couple sorrys before trying to change the subject back to tennis. Instead Eugenie went in on Taylor.
Yesterday, Allison brought us the news from TMZ that Kim Kartrashian probably won’t have to figure out a way to make prison-made Botox out of anus-numbing cream and pen ink from the commissary, because she and Kanye West didn’t commit a felony when they recorded and posted his telephone conversation with Taylor Swift about his song “Famous.” Only “confidential” conversations fall under California’s wiretapping law and since Kanye had Tay Tay on speaker and other people were in the room, it’s apparently not considered “confidential.” But that piece of information hasn’t stopped Taylor from putting together a mock trial, starring her cats and Furby collection, to practice for the day when she sees those whores in court!
Shortly after Kim Kardashian won the hearts of millions on Sunday night by Snapchatting clips of Kanye West’s konversation with Taylor Swift about that lyric in “Famous,” people brought up California’s wiretapping law. There was a chance that Litigious Barbie would sue Kim and Kanye for recording their conversation without her knowledge. There was also a chance that they could face charges.
Just when we all thought that the War of the Assholes was already filled to the max with assholes, Khloe Kartrashian dragged a random one into it last night. Specifically, a random b-hole that is innocent in all of this and has shits to give, since that’s usually the purpose of a b-hole, but none of those shits are for the Kimye/Taylor Feud.
Here I was thinking that there was no way in this life or the next that my dream of getting tag-teamed by Prince Hot Ginge, Idris Elba and Alexander Skarsgard on a bed of Double Doubles would ever come true, but it might! Because Kim Kartrashian actually told the truth about something and that means absolutely anything is possible!
In that picture, Tom Hiddleston is probably silently screaming, “heeeeeeeeeeelp,” into the camera, but let’s just pretend he’s doing the, “Bitch, stop pulling my dick,” squint so you don’t have to. Thanks, Tom!
Ever since Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston’s love grew amongst the algae on the beach rocks in Rhode Island, some figured that their union has as much real weight as the relationship contract they signed and others thought that maybe she’s doing some kind of performance art/video thing. But Tom Hiddleston says that all of us doubting bitches need to delete our Tumblrs that are covered with timelines and pictures proving this shit is fake, because it’s not a publicity stunt. The Hollywood Reporter talked to Tom by phone from Australia, where he’s shooting Thor 3, to congratulate his ass for getting an Emmy nomination this morning. While they had him on the phone, they slipped him a question about Taylor:
Do you know who you’re going to take with you to the Emmys?
I don’t. I didn’t even know I could. It’s 4 in the morning here! (Laughs.)
You’re in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now dating Taylor Swift. How would you respond to people who claim that you’re involved in some sort of publicity stunt?
(Laughs.) Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is — look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we’re very happy. Thanks for asking. That’s the truth. It’s not a publicity stunt.
Like he’s going to admit that shit is fake. “I’d tell those people that they’re right. They caught us!”
I do love that he called Taylor Swift by her first and last name. It’s like he’s reading off of a script and if that’s the case, I really wish he would’ve messed up by saying:
“The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and now Tom say this part like you mean it and don’t cry about how you can’t believe what you got yourself into like you did the last time- Bollocks, I read the instructions!”
And here’s Taylor Swift (or as Tom Hiddleston calls her, “Taylor Swift”) going shopping in the Gold Coast yesterday.