Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson can finally stop watching the windows and pacing the property line at Taylor Swift‘s homes, because her stalker is officially going to jail. Time to bust out the wet food and the treats those pussies love that you think aren’t healthy–Meredith and Olivia deserve a reward for all their hard work keeping Taylor’s collections of Beanie Babies and posters of NSYNC safe!
Possibly eschewing the four-year wait between record releases that was the gap between 1989 and Reputation, Taylor Swift has switched out her social media platforms to signal something is coming from her on “4.26.” That’s 13 days from now. It could be a new album. It could be a trailer for future bomb Cats. It could be the Rapture. Please, Jesus, let it be the Rapture so we don’t have to see a trailer for Cats.
Taylor Swift went from not being political to saving politics completely and restoring equality to the world! Well, no–but she’s started donating money to things, which is a good first step towards becoming one of those super wealthy people who gets called a “philanthropist” but could also solve the student debt crisis with their five “philanthropist” buddies and some signed checks. It seems that Taylor speaking up during the midterm elections to support a Democrat was not the end of her political career, even though the guy she endorsed lost. Taylor must be pissed about her chosen politician losing the election because now she’s ready to do what it really takes to solve problems: throw money at it.
He’s not a celebrity, get him out of there!!! Joe Alwyn, also known as Taylor Swift’s boyfriend that hasn’t caused her to write a break-up album yet, is a British actor. You know, the kind that appears on stage in front of people and was even in the Academy Award-winning The Favourite. Despite the screen time and dating Taylor Swift, sources want you to know that Joe is NOT in this for the celebrity, so don’t expect him to show up in any curated Fourth of July party squad photo with Blake Lively and the rest of the crowd. He’s just here for true love, dammit! I know, I can’t stop laughing either.
Entertainment Tonight is reporting that the greatest feud to hit white girls since they had to choose between being on Team Jennifer Aniston or Team Angelina Jolie may finally be coming to a resolute conclusion. It seems that Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are inching ever closer to the forgiveness duet nobody needs, as Katy has let it be known that she is “open” to working with Taylor Swift on new music.
Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour started off with a bunch of bad press with media reporting that it wasn’t selling well and was going to be flop hard. Well, as we all know, Taylor doesn’t forget and Taylor doesn’t forgive, and she definitely brought it up when she was accepting the award for tour of the year at last night’s iHeart Radio Awards.