Back in July, Rachel McAdams wouldn’t say whether or not she was riding on her True Detective co-star and fellow Canadian person Taylor Kitsch’s maple-dipped long john (or if you want to get really Canadian, letting him dip his “chicken” into her “Chalet sauce“). Around the same time, there were whispers that she was also being wooed by another hot True Detective, Colin Farrell. But reportedly, Rachel still has a thing for non-threatening Canadian hunks. According to Life & Style, Rachel and Taylor are definitely 100% doing it. And it’s happening so often they’re basically living together. Although really, as if we needed to be told; anyone with at least one working eye can see the white-hot sexual chemistry radiating between those two in the picture above.
A source tells Life & Style that Rachel and Taylor (sidenote: Rachel & Taylor totally sounds like the kind of place popular 14-year-old girls shoplift crop tops) are “practically living together” at Taylor’s condo. The source adds that they’re always going to brunch together and the gym together. Well that’s entirely too wholesome. I always pictured Taylor Kitsch as more of a ‘get beer drunk and have sloppy couch sex’ type, but maybe that could be my brain’s refusal to believe he’s not actually Tim Riggins.
The source also says that it’s gotten so serious that Rachel introduced Taylor to her family, and he bonded with her mom. Meeting the parents in regular life is not that big of a deal, but meeting the parents in Hollywood famous people life is huge. That’s basically the code word sequence that UsWeekly requires to pull out their “GETTING MARRIED!” cover template.
On that note, I’m sure the obsessive Notebook fans have started writing fanfic about Ryan Gosling barging into the church, The Graduate-style, on Rachel McAdams’ wedding day, crying “I couldn’t let you marry the low-budget British Columbia version of me“, and whisking her off in a rowboat.
Take this with a giant handful of salt, since it feels like everyone and their dog has at one time been ‘in talks’ to star in the second season of HBO’s True Detective. TheWrap says that “an individual familiar with the series” (that literally describes anyone with access to the internet, but go on) has told them that whiskey-soaked used condom Colin Farrell is this week’s random actor rumoured to be ‘in talks’ with the casting department of True Detective.
Insiders tell TheWrap that HBO was intent on landing a true movie star, someone who could play rugged and gritty, and they’ve done just that with Farrell, who is nearing a deal for the series’ older male lead.
The source also goes on to say that HBO is also looking at casting either Tron: Legacy actor (and the Don Draper to Kiki Dunst’s Betty) Garrett Hedlund or Friday Night Lights actor Taylor Kitsch, for the younger male lead. If only HBO could go back in time and cast Taylor Kitsch in True Blood instead, they could have made that hot gay sex scene even better by turning it into a three-way with Tim Riggins. So close yet so far.
If Colin Farrell really is going to be in True Detective, then I guess this means the second season will still be set in Louisiana, but instead of hunting for a serial killer along the coast, the detectives will be hunting for drunk pussy along Bourbon Street in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. All 8 episodes will follow a greasy hungover human boner with a vague Irish accent as he attempts to get to the bottom of a case of vodka while fingering as many culprits as he can before his partner hauls his ass off to the drunk tank.
For those of you who used to read X-Men comics and think: “You know, I really wish Gambit was more of a panty creamer who subdued evil mutants by busting out some raunchy Tampa stripper moves in a pair of loose sweatpants”, you’re in luck! X-Men: Back to the Future Past producer Lauren Shuler Donner confirmed in an interview with Total Film (via Us Weekly) that walking hotness Channing Tatum has been cast as “Gambit” in the 2016 film X-Men: Apocalypse. At the MTV Movie Awards last month, Channing Tatum said he had met with Donner about the possibility of playing Gambit (born name: Remy Etienne LeBeau. I’m truly embarrassed I didn’t have to go to Wikipedia for that one) and could really relate to the character, since they’re both from the south. He then added “…also because Brian Singer backed a dump truck full of money into my driveway and told me I could keep it if I left him sit in on a rehearsal for Magic Mike 2.”
Unfortunately, not everyone is excited to see Channing Tatum dopily mumble his way through a Cajun accent. Gambit first appeared in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, where he was played by forever-Tim Riggins Taylor Kitsch. Except for some reason, Taylor wasn’t invited back. What happened guys? Did Taylor take too many fun-size Snickers from the craft service table? Did you lose his phone number? I know that Taylor is trying to be a ~serious~ actor now, but I’m sure Taylor can still come in for an audition if you need him. Does Taylor have to pull a Sean Young and throw together a home-made Gambit costume and confront Brian Singer by whipping playing cards at him in the studio parking lot? Please say yes, because I would like to see that very much.
HD powder claims another victim!
HD powder: Too many to count!
Just like Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman and Sabrina the Teenage Witch before her ass, a make-up artist proved that they are an unholy Satanist by fucking with St. Angie Jolie’s face and slapping her down with that powder that makes you look Scarface when a flash hits you. St. Angie was Brad Pitt’s date to The Normal Heart premiere in NYC last night and she looked like a malnourished baby alligator that a chef at a creole restaurant just dipped in flour and was about to toss in a fryer pan. Who ever did that to St. Angie has probably been struck by lighting and is a pile of dust right now, but I want to use a Ouija board to contact their ghost and tell them that I love them for making her look like an over-used coke straw with veins. She looks like Rob Ford just farted in her face.
But seriously, I’m sure that’s not powder. It’s queef dust from the angels. She is St. Angie after all.
Here’s more pictures from last night’s The Normal Heart premiere including pictures of basic ho, basic ho, MATT BONER!!!, basic ho, basic ho and JUDITH LIGHT!!!