Zooey Deschanel, Taye Diggs And Rebel Wilson Are In The Hollywood Bowl’s “Beauty And The Beast” Concert
We’ve barely finished scouring the 2017 live action version of Beauty and The Beast for homosexual subtext and the Hollywood Bowl is already trying to complicate matters further by changing LeFou into a woman in their upcoming live concert. Entertainment Weekly reports that Rebel Wilson will be strapping one on to play LeFou opposite Taye Diggs as Gaston. Sorry Idris, you’ll just have to wait for the inevitable next “re imagining“. But wait, it gets worse! Belle’s about to get reverse She’s All That-ed and will be played by Zooey Deschanel.
Delectable actor (who doesn’t appear naked enough in any of his projects), Taye Diggs, put his bare ass up on his Instagram (which he has taken down already). So maybe he’s looking for those sorts of projects? And this wasn’t just a “here’s a funny little glimpse of my butt” pic. Taye tied his shirt up in the back so you couldn’t miss those cakes! This was a Grindr-level display of wanton sluttery. The public agreed with me, according to Hollywood Life:
“I thought Taye Diggs was trending bc he’s finally dating a Black woman. *sees the real reason*,” one Twitter user wrote, while another said, “Damn..Taye Diggs is out here bussin’ it open for the gram. And dude tied his shirt up in the back to get extra booty arch. #moist.”
We need more callipygous actors in heat willing to drop trou and celebrate their buttocks!
Don’t look at the screen like, “Michael, why are you calling Jocelyn Wildenstein’s unknown Asian half-sister ‘the Queen Bee.’” It’s the real Queen Bee (sorry, Beyonce) and the chameleon of rap, Lil Kim, keeping the question, “Harpo, who dis woman?” alive by showing up to the NYC premiere of WE tv’s “Growing Up Hip Hop” looking entirely brand new. She’s giving you the love child of a lucky cat and Victoria Gotti. I saw these pictures on Twitter earlier and after blinking a few dozen times, I still couldn’t figure out who it was. When you can’t place a face, just go ahead and assume it’s Lil Kim since she’s the grand dame master of disguise.
And Taye Diggs also showed up wearing this….
It was really nice of Taye Diggs to find some time between his deliveries to show up to that event. And up until now, I never had a fap fantasy involving Taye Diggs as a bike messenger.
As I said earlier, the Oscars were a boring dress parade and I’ve seen more exciting dresses at my mom’s office holiday party. Well, it looks like all the real glamour and demure sophistication was the Vanity Fair viewing and after-party. Not only was Joan Collins there with a wig hovering above her head like a glorious halo, but Crispo Ronaldo’s ex-piece Irina Shayk and the walking community theater production of RiRi’s life titled Rita Ora all wore hot outfits that let everyone know that they traded in their panties for a stick-on pussy patch.
Irina Shayk’s pantyhose dress thing is like the more modest and athletic cousin of that exquisitely classic, coochie-flashing gown that Jaimie Alexander wore in 2013. My only question besides “How many people were treated for elegance inhalation from being exposed to Irina?” is, “How did she piss?” Was there a discreet zipper involved? A snap-off thing? Or did the crotch area have a small hole where she could just stick in a Go Girl and handle it? Even if she couldn’t piss in that bodysuit gown thing and had to hold it all night, it’s worth it. Getting a bladder infection is worth bringing loads of ravishing glamour to the masses.
I bet across town at Denny’s Oscar viewing party, style icon Edy Williams raised a mug full of pink wine and soda water in the air and toasted to Irina Shayk and Rita Whora. Irina just needed more exposed nipple and a random dog, and her Edy Williams tribute would’ve been perfect.
And here’s at least 10 billion pictures from Vanity Fair’s party including pictures of Joan Collins and Monica Lewinsky (????).
Broadway will dim their lights for the rest of the week, because Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel announced that their marriage has probably taken its final bow and has exited stage left forfuckingever! And yes, I feel those blind items tapping me on the culito.
“Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs have jointly decided to separate at this time. Their primary focus and concern is for their son. We ask that you respect their privacy during this time.”
So now this weekend when you go to see a double feature of Frozen and The Best Man Holiday, you can scream “WHY? WHY? WHYYYY?” at the screen. This is all your fault, black women! Just kidding.
Not too long ago, I watched a video of Taye and Idina singing a song to a fan while waiting for their flight in an airport lounge and they didn’t look like their marriage was on the verge of crumbling and sliding down a hill, so this is kind of unexpected. But what I really want to know is, why does Taye Diggs always dress like he’s trying out to be a singing gondolier at The Venetian in Las Vegas?
Last week, Star Magazine’s cover story was about how LeAnn Rimes is a drunk, psychotic, needy luck dragon disaster and Eddie Cibrian plans to file divorce papers in Fantastica’s highest court, because a shameless gold digging whore can only take so much. Eddie and LeAnn shat on Star’s story right after it came out and last night, they really shat on that story by filling everybody’s eyes up with barf. At the Hollywood premiere of The Best Man Holiday, Eddie put his mouth on LeAnn’s mouth in front of photographers and everybody around them said in unison, “So THAT’S what it would look like if a gold digging whore gave mouth-to-mouth to a Galapagos Tortoise.”
Eddie told Extra’s Terri Seymour last night that Star spits out more lies than he does when he comes home at night and LeAnn drunkenly asks him why he smells like random cooch and no regrets. Eddie said this to Extra:
“It’s just ludicrous. They say we’re going through a $50-million divorce… they just have no fact checking whatsoever. Most of the time, all you can do is laugh because it’s so out there and outrageous.”
Thank you, Eddie, for using the perfect word to describe Star’s story. Ludicrous IS the word. It’s ludicrous for Star to say that LeAnn is worth $50 million, because if that was true, he’d be dragging her ass in divorce court to get a piece of that mountain of cash. But really, Eddie took vows and he plans to stay with LeAnn until he finds a richer replacement. That might take a while since MeetSugarMommas.com hasn’t approved his profile yet.
Here’s more of the squinting STUNT QUEENS kissing at the premiere of The Best Man Holiday, which also brought Baby Wipes Howard, Taye Diggs and Lil Mama.