Page Six reports that Ariana Grande has been spotted with her sixth and newest Pete Davisdon tattoo since the couple hooked up two months and began their nauseating TMI and tattoo crime spree. How do we know that Ariana’s new tattoo is a direct homage to her fiancee? It’s his 10 inch dick curling around her face. No, but it is his second most defining characteristic, and that’s the word “Pete” on her marrying finger. Continue reading
Move over Affleck, there’s a new celebrity back tattoo in town. And this one’s a lot sexier. Apparently, Justin Theroux has an enormous back piece too. But his is a pigeon instead of a phoenix and instead of reeking of mid-life crisis and sorrow, Justin’s smells like wet dog and soggy rawhide. Justin was being interviewed by Jonathan Van Ness at Vulture Fest when an audience member asked him about his back piece. Justin graciously obliged to show it to the audience and explain its origins.
After taking a vow of silence from opining on the important hot topics of the day, Matt Damon is dipping his toes in the waters of controversy once again by giving his honest and unfiltered opinion on one of the most important issues facing not just Hollywood but all of mankind: Ben Affleck’s back tattoo. Matt appeared on The Daily Show and Trevor Noah asked him if he was planning on distancing himself from his longtime bro because of his embarrassing ink. Matt answered (via Page Six):
“Unfortunately, I can’t seem to shake him — I’ve known him since I was 10, so that’s 37 years,” Damon said, adding, “I mean, it’s not one man’s job to tell another man what he can do to his back. I support him in all of his artistic expression.”
Some might call it a shady answer but Matt can barely cast a shadow let alone throw shade. Ben’s never cheated on Matt (as far as we know) so he doesn’t have any reason to not play nice, unlike Jennifer Garner who played kitty coy by licking her paw and purring “bless his heart” which is the only thing Jennifer’s ever said that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Despite what he says about a man’s back being his own or whatever, as Ben’s BFF, Matt is partially responsible for that mess. Ben’s always sticking his honey bear nose in pots he has no business in but refuses to step up to his responsibilities as a Ben handler. Matt blatantly ignored Ben’s peas for help. We all heard them yet were powerless to intervene. Maybe instead of fantasizing about being Thor’s neighbor in Australia, Matt should have focused his energies on the crisis here at home.
Cutesy celebrity wagers are pretentious and annoying but when said wager requires me to scan pictures of Tom Hardy’s biceps on a Wednesday morning, I can let it slide. In 2016, Tom Hardy said that he and his The Revenant co-star Leonardo Dicaprio made a bet about whether or not he’d get an Oscar nomination for getting all ornery and ugly in the film. Leonardo bet that Tom would get an Oscar nom, and Tom thought the opposite. And instead of ruining a man’s life for a single dollar like normal millionaires, Tom and Leo’s bet involved actual flesh and blood.
Scarlett Johansson has some of my favorite celebrity tattoos. She’s got a weird sunset that looks kind of like a sticker you might pick out of a prize bucket at the dentist. She’s got a NYC charm bracelet that looks more like a dirty shark tooth. She’s got a janky horseshoe on her torso. She’s got a sleeping lamb or something? She might have just gotten a new tattoo that, if it could talk, would tell all her other tattoos to step aside because they’re no longer the most random thing on ScarJo’s body.
After Demi Lovato attended the Time 100 Gala in New York City on Tuesday night, Entertainment Tonight says she got a lion face tattooed onto her hand. Personally, if I had just spent a good part of my evening wrapped in Spanx and walking around in heels that make my feet wish they could Red Shoes themselves, the last thing I’d want to do is inflict any more pain on myself. But Demi is clearly stronger or stupider than me, and she ended her night by getting a huge hand tattoo.