There are certain times when I see Drake and I say to myself “Yeah, I’d hit it”. And other times, not so much. Well now you can put me down for an extra helping of “Hell Yeah I’d hit that!” because Drake did some thirst trappin’ on his Instagram page while on vacation in Turks & Caicos.
Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande recently elevated their commitment to each other by co-parenting a new baby micro pig. And Entertainment Tonight reports that two days ago, Pete’s tattoo artist Instagrammed a picture of the latest work to get added to Pete’s ever-growing art gallery on his body. It would appear he recently got a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh (that kind of looks like a Shrinky Dink of Pooh that was left in the toaster oven too long), and a scribbled interpretation of their new pig, which apparently has been bestowed with the name: Piggy Smallz.
Although maybe it’s because I’m not wearing my glasses, but it kind of reads like Piggy Smallth to me, which makes sense if the goal was to spell it how Mike Tyson might pronounce it. And I’d also love an explanation as to why Piggy Smallz is wearing what appears to be Superstar Barbie’s earrings on his face, but I’m happy to wait for that.
I’m sure Pete and Ariana thought they’d hit the creative punny pet name jackpot with Piggy Smallz, but sadly they’re not the first. Megan Fox once owned a pig named Piggy Smalls, but she had to give it away after he became “sexually aggressive.” A potbelly pig named Piggy Smalls also made the news last year in Oregon after escaping from its owners and going on the run from police for several months. Do your research next time, you two! If they had, they would have known that Gettin’ Piggy With It just has so much more pizzazz.
Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande totally seem like that couple from high school who would have signed each other’s yearbooks multiple times with exceedingly cheesy messages (“I wuv woo more than our geometry class trip to the box factory“). So of course they’ve got a number of tattoos in honor of each other. But as it turns out, Pete’s body actually is like a yearbook, and it also includes a little message courtesy of Ariana’s ex-boyfriend Big Sean.
Page Six reports that Ariana Grande has been spotted with her sixth and newest Pete Davisdon tattoo since the couple hooked up two months and began their nauseating TMI and tattoo crime spree. How do we know that Ariana’s new tattoo is a direct homage to her fiancee? It’s his 10 inch dick curling around her face. No, but it is his second most defining characteristic, and that’s the word “Pete” on her marrying finger. Continue reading
Move over Affleck, there’s a new celebrity back tattoo in town. And this one’s a lot sexier. Apparently, Justin Theroux has an enormous back piece too. But his is a pigeon instead of a phoenix and instead of reeking of mid-life crisis and sorrow, Justin’s smells like wet dog and soggy rawhide. Justin was being interviewed by Jonathan Van Ness at Vulture Fest when an audience member asked him about his back piece. Justin graciously obliged to show it to the audience and explain its origins.
After taking a vow of silence from opining on the important hot topics of the day, Matt Damon is dipping his toes in the waters of controversy once again by giving his honest and unfiltered opinion on one of the most important issues facing not just Hollywood but all of mankind: Ben Affleck’s back tattoo. Matt appeared on The Daily Show and Trevor Noah asked him if he was planning on distancing himself from his longtime bro because of his embarrassing ink. Matt answered (via Page Six):
“Unfortunately, I can’t seem to shake him — I’ve known him since I was 10, so that’s 37 years,” Damon said, adding, “I mean, it’s not one man’s job to tell another man what he can do to his back. I support him in all of his artistic expression.”
Some might call it a shady answer but Matt can barely cast a shadow let alone throw shade. Ben’s never cheated on Matt (as far as we know) so he doesn’t have any reason to not play nice, unlike Jennifer Garner who played kitty coy by licking her paw and purring “bless his heart” which is the only thing Jennifer’s ever said that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Despite what he says about a man’s back being his own or whatever, as Ben’s BFF, Matt is partially responsible for that mess. Ben’s always sticking his honey bear nose in pots he has no business in but refuses to step up to his responsibilities as a Ben handler. Matt blatantly ignored Ben’s peas for help. We all heard them yet were powerless to intervene. Maybe instead of fantasizing about being Thor’s neighbor in Australia, Matt should have focused his energies on the crisis here at home.