But in Backdoor Farrah’s defense, she’d look like an embarrassing and desperate mess even if she didn’t show up to the MTV Movie & TV Awards in a costume found in the section marked “For Trashy Attention Whores Who Want Quick Attention” at the Haus of Cultural Appropriation.
Empire’s spring premiere episode aired last night, and earlier in the day, TMZ coincidentally burped up a story about how guest star Nia Long and Taraji P. Henson got along about as well as Terrence Howard gets along with an asshole that hasn’t been freshly touched by a baby wipe. Today, TMZ has burped up more details about Nia’s alleged rampage on the Empire set, and E! News has also joined in on the foolery with info of their own. This is giving me shades of Dynasty gossip, but I’m not sure who’s the Krystle and who’s the Alexis? What am I saying? Taraji is the Alexis, Dominique, Sable and Krystle. Nia is one of the party extras.
During last night’s Oscars, Dakota Johnson presented with her Fifty Shades Duller co-star Jamie Dornan, and they did a hilarious bit where they pretended to have chemistry with each other. Clearly Dakota was afraid all the crotch-searing sexuality between her and Jamie would be too much for the audience to handle, and she dressed accordingly. And by accordingly, I mean she counter-balanced it by dressing in an unsexy satin nightgown situation that was made by Gucci.
The Grammys are the time and place for some high fashion fuckery. You can go high concept crazy (see: CeeLo Green), or you can go tacky casual with a twist of try hard. Halsey chose the latter. Halsey told Giuliana Rancic that her look was “a little TLC, a little Aaliyah.” When I first saw Halsey on the red carpet, I immediately got a T-Boz in the Creep video vibe. Halsey must have realized that she couldn’t blatantly rip-off such a legendary look without receiving a cease-and-desist, and so she added her own spin. And in this case, her spin was to ditch the matching robe and walk down the red carpet with her tits out. She also went with her natural hair, which was a choice. Personally I would have gone full-homage to T-Boz with some bangs and side-curtains. But I’ll give her a pass on this one. If she didn’t have time to steam the wrinkles out of her ensemble, I doubt she had time to clip on some hair.
Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.
Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.
Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.
I know Lady Gaga’s thing right now is hats, specifically that pink one that’s practically the official mascot of her Joanne promotional tour. So I shouldn’t have been surprised that she showed up to the American Music Awards last night in her biggest, stiffest-brimmed hat. It was nice of her to switch out that pink hat for the evening. I’m sure it was starting to get all limp from all the sweaty forehead foundation it was no doubt collecting and could use a good soak before the Grammys in February. Sorry AMAs, but you get the backup hat.