Essence is reporting that Taraji P. Henson went ahead and stepped in a big ole’ pile of shit after she tried making some kind of a statement about the #MuteRKelly movement, comparing it to the reactions against Harvey Weinstein. Did trying to compare two devils to see which is worse turn out well for Taraji? Nope!
Taraji posted an Instagram Story showing her going through some hashtags on Twitter. She found a ton of #MuteRKelly associated hashtags meant to dissuade people from listening to R. Kelly’s music and giving him money he doesn’t deserve. But she couldn’t find any for #MuteWeinstein or #MuteHarveyWeinstein which to me makes sense since he is not a singer. This stumped Taraji, though, who then posted a thinking emoji and captioned it “Hmmm.” Which would be what everyone looking at her social media would be asking themselves after seeing her post.
Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
As promised, Hollywood has delivered a reboot of the 2000 Nancy Meyers film, What Women Want called What Men Want, and the first trailer was released today. If you’re into Taraji P. Henson in top-shelf power bitch business suits, you’re going to be all over this movie.
In the trailer, we learn that instead of advertising executive Mel Gibson creeping on women’s brains, it’s sports agent Taraji P. Henson using men’s thoughts against them in an attempt to break through the glass ceiling.
That image above is from right after Taraji’s character discovers what her brain can do. And honestly, that’s probably the same face I’d make if I had just discovered that I was now trapped in a mental prison that involved hearing the inner thoughts of the men around me. I live two doors down from a frat house, so my skull would basically be a never-ending nightmare box filled with inner-monologues about MMA, “smoking hot broads” and Jägermeister.
In What Women Want, Mel Gibson gained access to women’s minds by falling into the bathtub while holding a hairdryer. In What Men Want, Taraji’s magic happens after she meets with a psychic played by Erykah Badu, who offers her some jasmine tea with just a pinch of weed, peyote, and crack. Is Erykah even playing a character? That is kind of how she dresses in real life, and some of the shit she’s said recently definitely sounds like the work of drug tea. Why do I get the feeling that at least once, as she was pouring that tea, she looked at the cameras and said: “So, are you guys filming a movie?”
Tyler Perry’s Acrimony may have been described as “A ludicrously scattershot drama in which overwrought feminine rage, diary-of-a-mad-woman craziness, and inept filmmaking are all but inseparable”, but I doubt 47-year-old Taraji P. Henderson is too pressed about that right now. She just got engaged to her boyfriend of 2 years, 34-year-old former NFL player Kelvin Hayden.
Sorry guys, watches are cancelled. Clocks too (wall, desk, alarm, grandfather, cuckoo, all of them). Better go ahead smash your cell phone screen too while you’re at it because we will never have to look it them again. Taraji P. Henson made them all obsolete when she dressed for the premiere of her new Tyler Perry movie Acrimony and said “You know what, let me roll up in here wearing a suede bathrobe and let all this mother fuckers know what time it is”.
I really did plotz when I saw these pictures. Taraji poses like a beast! She’s got power pose after power pose on lock. The “who me?”, blam! The “this old thing?”, blam! The “You could never”, blam! The “Not today Satan!”, blam, blam! The “I’m gonna tear you up and spit you out, but fashion“, blam, blam, blam! Honestly, how dare she. When I try to pose it’s more like; “Potato”!, “Potato”! “Potato”! “Yam”! Tariji is daring you to find a flaw and if you do, it’s something wrong with your eyes, Sweetie.
I don’t normally go in for Tyler Perry’s “morality tale” movies but I might have to make an exception for this one. It looks more like a horror movie with Taraji running around looking like a sexy, wronged shark. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you told me that suede robe was made out of the bleached hide of a trifling man.
Note that I left out the word “mess,” as there’s no question that the messiest part of the red carpet was most likely the three square feet of space occupied by Ryan Seacrest.
If there was an award for red carpet fashion that makes you question a stylist’s sanity, Nicole Kidman would be that category’s Meryl Streep. Nicole arrived in an Armani Prive gown that does double duty. From the waist-up she’s very mascot of a sexy frozen fish company, and from the waist down I’m getting a reminder to please separate my plastic recyclables from my paper.