T-Pain Lets Everyone Know That Napster Is Still A Thing And Actually Pays The Most Among Streaming Services

I’m still shocked about yesterday’s revelation from T-Pain. He took to Twitter to share how many streams an artist needs to make $1 on the different streaming platforms. That’s when he dropped the revelation that Napster is still around. And not only that, but they pay better than Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, Tidal–you name it! Seriously, name some of these to me: what the fuck is the music streaming site Deezer?

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T-Pain Says He Fell Into A Four-Year Depression After Usher Heavily Criticized His Music

Netflix just dropped an 8-episode docuseries called This Is Pop, which breaks down eight different aspects of popular music, like the rise of music festivals, country-pop cross-over artists, Britpop, and iconic NYC music production headquarters the Brill Building. There’s also a whole episode on the effects and popularity of Auto-Tune, the pitch-altering music recording program that created the kind of aggressive robo-vocals that lived completely rent-free in our ears during the very late 90s and all throughout the 2000s. T-Pain makes an appearance in the Auto-Tune episode because you can’t talk about Auto-Tune without speaking to the unofficial godfather of it. Cashing huge checks for singing like a robot should have been a great time for T-Pain, but according to him, it was anything but, because of Usher.

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T-Pain Blew Through $40 Million And Eventually Had To Borrow Money For Burger King

After Cher, rapper T-Pain is probably the person most responsible for Auto-Tune becoming a thing (and let’s face it, anything of cultural importance comes after Cher). And for a while there, his innovations in the arts of vocal distortion paid him handsomely. At one point T-Pain amassed a $40 million fortune. And then he lost it all. Well, he didn’t technically lose it, he spent it all on stupid shit like a $400K Big Ass Chain and a shit-ton of bad real estate investments in South Florida. At one point T-Pain was so broke he had to borrow money to get his kids some Burger King. Appearing on The Breakfast Club, T-Pain explained how he lost it all, but found himself. Say it louder Pain so Drake can hear you over the tick tock of his sex watch!

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T-Pain Paid His Brother’s Crazy $1.4 Million Hospital Bill

In The-American-Healthcare-System-Sure-Works-Well-For-Everybody news: rapper T-Pain revealed on Instagram his brother’s hospital bill and it’s a doozy.

Without much context or full background story, T-Pain posted a picture of a bill to his Instagram and let his followers know that American healthcare is the best in the world and makes total sense and is affordable for everyone. JK, lol, where? Which state? No: he revealed to his followers that his brother had been in two different hospitals over the course of “a month and some change” and during his time getting–I’m assuming–much-needed medical care, he racked up a bill of over $1.4 million dollars.
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Leave It To Z LaLa To Bring The Magical Glamour To The VMAs

Former HSOTD, “world pop artist” and the white magic sorceress of style Z La La once again used her wizard powers to bring some much-needed sparkle to the MTV VMAs red carpet FLOR carpet. Z LaLa was a spectacular glittery flower in the middle of a field of dull weeds.

Z LaLa not only has a stage name like a Teletubby, but last night she looked like a Teletubby after getting stuck while trying to shape-shift into Lady Gaga. Z LaLa was perfection from the tippity top of her cone dildo wig to the bottom hem of her exploding Christmas ribbon dress. Someone needed to show up to that dreadful award show looking like a Conehead witch who works part-time as an emcee in a Cirque du Soleil show and thank god that Z LaLa was that someone.

Z LaLa strikes me as the kind of fashion icon who really commits to her look and goes all the way, so I’m sure the drapes match the carpet. If you lifted her dress, I’m sure you’d find a long cone of pubes hanging off of her crotch. Z LaLa is also pretty brave for wearing a long black dildo wig to an event where Kartrashians will be. I’m sure Z LaLa had security guards who kept the Kartrashians from trying to climb up her body to fuck her wig.

And one of my other favorite looks of the night came from Our Robotic Lady of Cheetos and her suffocating chichis:

Daddy Spears should give a raise to whoever is responsible for doing Brit Brit up like Double Trouble from She-Ra in the uniform she wears to serve cocktails at a 2-star casino in Reno.

And here’s 6,000 pictures from the VMAs carpet. You should just stop clicking when you get to Rebecca Black, because it doesn’t get more A-listery or relevant than her.

Pics: Wenn.com