Category: Suri Cruise

Tom Cruise Supposedly Can See Suri But Chooses Not To 

October 4, 2018 / Posted by:

When we last heard about Tom Cruise and his non-relationship with his 12-year-old daughter Suri Cruise, Leah Remini was saying that Katie Holmes could lose custody of Suri just by talking to her, and that came after we heard Tom hasn’t seen Suri in years. A source tells UsWeekly that Tom could see Suri, but he doesn’t, because she’s not a Scientologist. While most of us would award Tom the Asshole Dad of the Year award for that, I’m sure David Miscavige is awarding him with The Most Amazing And Perfect Dad award, but then again he probably gets that every morning from his Scientology minions.  Continue reading

Katie Holmes Could Lose Custody Of Suri Cruise By Talking To Leah Remini, So Says Leah Remini 

September 27, 2018 / Posted by:

As everyone and their Thetans know, Anti-Scientology Warrior Queen Leah Remini has made a second career out of calling out the head bitches of the Cult of L. Ron Hubbard for the way Scientologists have been treated while in the group of L. Ro worshipers and after leaving it. Leah has really gone in on the Jesus of Scientology, Tom Cruise, and called him “diabolical,” said he’s untouchable in Scientology, and that he could easily bring down the Crazy Kingdom of E-Meters if he wanted to (which I’m sure he doesn’t since he’s probably addicted to the feeling of a thousand tongues up his Scientolohole). And now Leah’s saying that he could also rip Suri Cruise out of Katie Holmes‘ arms for talking to her.

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Suri Cruise Threw A Capitalist Punch With Her NYC Pride Lemonade Stand

June 25, 2018 / Posted by:

With millions of people descending upon New York City last weekend for the country’s largest Pride Month celebration, it was clear there was a helluva lot of money to be made from thirsty queens. While most of us might snicker into thinking ‘dat cash would go to vodka sodas and Grindr Premium accounts, Suri Cruise figured she could make enough money to just about buy out the entire Build-a-Bear corporation by hawking lemonade in front of her house in Manhattan. She wasn’t wrong. Continue reading

Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn Held Hands!!! In Public!!!

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Sure, this is unimportant and fluffy. But there’s a distinct lack of rape and corruption in this story, so we’ve got that going for us. TMZ reports that queen of the rat catchers Taylor Swift performed at the Z100 iHeartRadio Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden on Friday night, and she was seen walking in HOLDING HANDS WITH BOYFRIEND JOE ALWYN!!!! Despite her writing ½ an album about him (the other half is made up of cheery songs about how everyone who has wronged will pay in the end), Taylor is almost never seen in public with her actor boyfriend. UNTIL NOW. Continue reading

Tom Cruise Hasn’t Seen Suri In 800 Days

November 27, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, now we know one of the reasons why Tom Cruise is always running isn’t that he’s in a rush to see his kid.

The last time we checked the pulse on Tom Cruise’s relationship with the former chosen child of Scientology, Suri Cruise, TMZ was saying that Maverick hadn’t seen his kid in almost a year. However, it looks like Tom Cruise can officially start thinking about submitting a new member application to the Deadbeat Daddy Club, because according to the National Enquirer (via Daily Mail), that number is closer to two years.

A source claims that Tom hasn’t been seen in public with Suri in 800 days (basically two years and two months for brains that are still fucked up from turkey and booze to do the math). The source claims there are two reasons for why Tom is pulling an I Don’t Know Her on Suri. One, because he’s busy running around in front of a camera, and two, because he just doesn’t really care now that Suri is no longer the bathroom-crying Scientology princess she once was. I’m sure Leah Remini just sent Suri a text message that said: “Don’t worry, kid, he pretty much did the same thing to me too.

Tom Cruise doesn’t exactly love it when people call his ass out for being a shit father, so I’m sure the National Enquirer will receive a very bitchy email from Tom about all this on Monday.

The most obvious reason for why Suri Cruise hasn’t been seen on a Saturday Daddy Date with Tom in 800 days is because she and her mother no longer worship at the feet and busted teeth of L. Ron Hubbard. But maybe Tom has been hanging out with her and we just haven’t noticed? Maybe Tom keeps a pair of regular shoes in his car for when he visits with Suri, and without his signature 3-inch lifts, he’s short enough to pass as just another one of Suri’s friends. That’s actually very clever of you, Tommy Girl.

Pic: Splash

Leah Remini Says She Found Suri Cruise Crying On A Bathroom Floor At Tom Cruise’s Wedding

November 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, here’s another one to file under: “Weird Shit That Happened At Tom Cruise’s Creepy Scientology Wedding“.

Thanks to Leah Remini’s recent appearance on 20/20 to promote her upcoming messy Scientology dump of a memoir called Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, we know that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding was the night David Miscavige added Leah’s name to his Burn Book. We also know Leah didn’t get to dance the funky chicken with her BFF Jennifer Lopez because JLo was too busy doing shots at the bar with Scientology’s recruitment team. And now Leah would like us to know that Suri Cruise spent the evening serenading Tom and Katie’s wedding guests with her baby screams from the bathroom.

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