It feels like there has always been a biopic about Janis Joplin is “in the works” and it feels like 1/4 of Hollywood’s actresses have been “attached” to play Janis at one point or another. The most recent mention of a Janis Joplin biopic was about two years ago when Amy Adams was “attached” to play Janis in a film called Get It While You Can, (I guess Jack Donaghy never did get those life rights). But that movie was sort of put back on Hollywood’s shelf while the producers and the writer dealt with a lawsuit. Variety says there’s another Janis Joplin movie in the works, and there’s a very good chance this one could star Michelle Williams.
Picture, if you will, Patsy Stone walking down Bond Street and all of a sudden she’s met with a loud whistle or an “Oi, love!“. Unless it’s coming from a hot bricklayer wearing nothing but a trowel or a giant talking bottle of Stoli, she’s probably going to mutter “Piss off, sweetie darling” under her breath and keep on walking. Not Joanna Lumley, though. Joanna Lumley thinks getting hollered at on the street is flattering and would really appreciate it everyone stopped being so damn offended by it.
Because there are no shortage of celebrities who get an attention boner from a good old fashioned publicity stunt, there are people who are suspicious of just how true and real Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s love is. Dlisted, for example. Hell, I’m pretty sure that if Ted Casablanca was still around, there’d be no end to the stories about “Harajuku Mom” and “The Y’all-y Jean Giant.”
Well, real or fake (or a marketable combination of the two), The Cut has a theory about why Gwen and Blake’s relationship is getting so much attention in the first place, and it has to do with paying barely-famous people to talk about them.
Back in February, Olivia Munn (seen above giving you business casual 70s Cher) took to Instagram to silence the haters who had accused her of popping into a plastic surgeon’s office and walking out with a new face. According to Olivia, her new-ish face was the result of the following things: losing weight while training on the set of X-Men: Apocalypse, reshaping her eyebrow situation, erasing her freckles with Proactiv, and Japanese potatoes. Well, Olivia is talking about her face once again, and this time she has a new reason for why she might look different: makeup! Olivia got into it during a recent interview with Fashion magazine to promote X-Men: Apocalypse.
During a recent interview with Glamour to remind everyone that you’re still a poor (no, it was to promote her new organic makeup line), humanoid lavash cracker Gwyneth Paltrow was asked how the conscious uncoupling situation is going with her ex-husband, Chris Martin. Obviously things between Goopy and The Scarf are great, because Goopy doesn’t do shitty awkward divorces. Apparently things are so super great between Gwyneth and her ex-husband, their relationship status has ascended from exes to siblings.
“We spend a lot of time together. He’s been away for two weeks [promoting his album]. Last night he got in at midnight and slept here so he could surprise the kids in the morning, we could all have breakfast, and he could take them to school. So…we’re not living together, but he’s more than welcome to be with us whenever he wants. And vice versa: I sleep in his house in Malibu a lot with the kids. We’ll have a weekend all together; holidays, we’re together. We’re still very much a family, even though we don’t have a romantic relationship. He’s like my brother.”
Somewhere in a house without platinum-plated bidets that spray caviar-filtered spring water into your poo hole, Gwyneth Paltrow’s real brother is like “Hold on…am I being replaced? This is totally because I brought store-bought stuffing to Thanksgiving dinner, isn’t it?” (“Yes, it is, you disgusting monster” replied Gwyneth).
Gwyneth also humblebragged that she wrote a couple lyrics for and sang back-up on the latest Coldplay album. I don’t care if you’re religious or not, now is the time you get on your knees and pray that Chris Martin does his sister a favor and lets Goopy sing backup for Coldplay during the Super Bowl Halftime Show. There’s nothing I want more than to see Gwyneth bust out her signature uptight white girl dance moves.
And in case you want to see what a person who went 3 hours without an organic pressed juice looks like, here’s an over-it Gwyneth hauling ass through the airport with Brad Falchuk last week.
Back in October, part-time rapper/ full-time poster child for crazy Azealia Banks got into it with a bouncer at a nightclub in Los Angeles. I have no idea why Azealia went full-Azealia that night. Maybe he triggered the Oh Hell No switch in her brain by telling her he really liked her song “Fancy.” Regardless, Azealia and the bouncer started fighting and it was all caught on camera.
Usually the words “caught on camera” means you better start practicing how to walk into jail with a handful cigarettes tucked between your butt cheeks, but Azealia doesn’t have to do any of that. TMZ says that Azealia Banks won’t do any time for allegedly beating on a club bouncer, because the L.A. City Attorney has thrown the case out. Even though footage of their fight was caught on a security camera, law enforcement can’t tell who started it. And since the bouncer didn’t have any injuries, it’s sort of a draw.
That’s not to say that Azealia’s bouncer-whooping days are behind her. Back in December, Azealia got into a fight with the bouncers at a club in NYC that ended with Azealia biting one of the bouncer’s boobies. That shit hasn’t gone to court yet.
But as one crazy door closes, another one opens. Earlier today, she hopped on Twitter, set her internal thought filter to bonkers, and started typing up a shade-laced endorsement of aspiring Presidential candidate/confirmed turd Donald Trump. Azealia truly covered all the bases of why Trump should be the 45th President of the United States: he’s evil, he’s a piece of shit, he’s not a THOT like the other candidates – you know, all the qualities the founding fathers wanted in a leader.