That was fast. Before we could clean the panting hot breath marks and sticky palm prints off the inside of our car windows after hearing that Khloe Kardashian (in wax above) was “in contention” (AKA anywhere from completely fabricated to already inked), to be the next Bachelorette, the rumor has been shot down. According to Khloe’s Momager Kris Jenner and
protective moral compass big sister Kim Kardashian, Khloe as the Bachelorette is a no go, which is a shame, since she clearly can not be trusted to swipe right on her own.
I know this sounds like some Jim Carrey-style existentialism, but stick with me here, it won’t require as many mental gymnastics as you might think.
Nearly two years ago, Kaley Cuoco set an attention trap by Instagramming a picture of herself in a hospital bed covering her nose and claiming she was having “sinus surgery.” Obviously it didn’t take long for people to poke Kaley and let her know that she spelled “nose job” wrong. Kaley slapped back at everyone accusing her of trying to cover up a nose job and said: “If I DID get a nose job (which I didn’t) I would be shouting that from the rooftops.” Kaley was technically telling the truth when she said she didn’t get a nose job on that particular day. She just left out the part about how she had already had one done years ago.
Jaden Smith is many things: actor, child of famous people, enlightened intergalactic space philosopher. But did you know he was also once a vampire? It’s true! Well, at least according to Jaden Smith. You know, I always pictured Jaden as more of a wise alien taking the form of a rich teenage earthling, but I was clearly wrong.
It feels like there has always been a biopic about Janis Joplin is “in the works” and it feels like 1/4 of Hollywood’s actresses have been “attached” to play Janis at one point or another. The most recent mention of a Janis Joplin biopic was about two years ago when Amy Adams was “attached” to play Janis in a film called Get It While You Can, (I guess Jack Donaghy never did get those life rights). But that movie was sort of put back on Hollywood’s shelf while the producers and the writer dealt with a lawsuit. Variety says there’s another Janis Joplin movie in the works, and there’s a very good chance this one could star Michelle Williams.
Picture, if you will, Patsy Stone walking down Bond Street and all of a sudden she’s met with a loud whistle or an “Oi, love!“. Unless it’s coming from a hot bricklayer wearing nothing but a trowel or a giant talking bottle of Stoli, she’s probably going to mutter “Piss off, sweetie darling” under her breath and keep on walking. Not Joanna Lumley, though. Joanna Lumley thinks getting hollered at on the street is flattering and would really appreciate it everyone stopped being so damn offended by it.