Amy Schumer has joined Rihanna‘s side for the fight that is “HELL NO Super Bowl LII”, sparking a celebrity boycotting of the sporting event. A few days ago RiRi reportedly turned down the chance to play at the Halftime show, citing her support of Colin Kaepernick as the reason. The NFL read her loud and clear, and ended up going with one of the most lukewarm bowls of uncontroversial musical oatmeal Maroon 5. Amy is not here for Maroon 5 or anyone else taking part in the fuckery that is the Super Bowl, so she’s calling on Adam Levine and others to join her in a boycott. Continue reading
Rihanna has been very busy becoming the Number 1 Avon Sales Lady in her district, but she is also still a world-renowned pop star. As such, you can still catch her in between makeup tutorials recording or performing music. But one place you will never see Miss RiRi is the NFL Super Bowl Halftime Show, because she has made it clear that she is not about that life.
Last week we learned that the 2019 Super Bowl Pepsi halftime show might be doubling as the take-a-quick-nap break, because it was reported that the headliner will be Maroon 5. Someone helping to arrange the halftime show must have realized that unless they want to lose a whole lot of viewers to the Puppy Bowl’s kitty halftime show, they better add some razzle dazzle. According to TMZ, Cardi B is currently in negotiations to join Adam Levine and the rest of the Maroons on stage. The only problem is, negotiations are getting a little difficult because Cardi B wants to be the star of her own set.
During this year’s Super Bowl halftime show when Justin Timberlake offended The Purple One by putting his pucker-inducing image on fucking laundry, I figured that Pepsi was torturing us so that we’d scream, “Enough! Enough! Okay, okay, bring back that creepy happy cult from the 70s. We give up!” I guess they want us to scream louder, because the halftime performers of 2019’s Super Bowl will be Heavy Flow Stain Cinco aka Maroon 5. “Honey, I think someone spilled the ranch, feta, and French onion dip onto the floor” will be heard at Super Bowl parties everywhere after middle-aged moms shoot out a coochie geyser from watching Adam Levine make orgasm faces.
It’s a good thing it isn’t below freezing in Boston today because everyone’s tears from the Patriots loss in the Super Bowl would have turned this place into a Kmart version of the Frozen set. The Philadelphia Eagles got their first Super Bowl win last night at the expense of Tom Brady and the rest of the New England Patriots. While most people were focusing on the commercials, the game, or anything that wasn’t Justin Timberlake, a few of us were keeping tabs on what Tom’s ladies, past and present, had to say about the game. Don’t worry. They had thoughts. Continue reading
Kevin Hart was born in Philadelphia, so naturally he’s a huge Eagles fan and was really happy to be at the Super Bowl with his team. But he drank a lot and got extremely messy.