Did somebody say “MORE MOVIES ABOUT THE JOKER AND HARLEY QUINN“? No really, I want to have a word with whoever was putting that kind of energy out into the universe, because we’re starting to have too many damn movies about the Joker and his wacky codependent girlfriend. The superhero genre is all full-up, and so far I count zero movies about Squirrel Girl in production. (I’m in it for the nut puns!).
Despite the fact that Suicide Squad came, saw, and
conquered stunk up movie theaters nine months ago, we’re still hearing tales of Jared Leto’s method acting as The Joker. This time it’s from his Suicide Squad co-star Ike Barinholtz. We already know Jared (acting as The Joker) gave his co-stars live rats, dead pigs, bullets, and used dick sleeves. Jared gave Ike a gift that couldn’t be bought at Method Acting Asshole Depot: a kiss on the mouth.
My thoughts exactly about that headline, Mad Mel.
While promoting his movie Hacksaw Ridge last September, Mel Gibson was asked to shit up his thoughts about the bloated budgets of superhero movies. That led to talk about Batman v. Superman and Mel called it a piece of shit and said he’s not into Spandex and superhero movies:
I’m not interested in the stuff. Do you know what the difference between real superheroes and comic book superheroes is? Real superheroes didn’t wear spandex. So I don’t know. Spandex must cost a lot.
So, since it’s obvious that Mad Mel is the biggest fan of Warner Bros’ superhero movies, they are talking to him about possibly directing the sequel to the critical shit log, but box office hit, Suicide Squad. What a smart decision! That’s as if Hillary Clinton decided to run for president again and asked Susan Sarandon to be her campaign manager.
Tomorrow we find out if all the hard work and hand jobs Ryan Reynolds has been giving have paid off when the Oscar nominations are announced. But today we find out whose lazy hand job of a performance was rewarded with a 2017 Razzie nomination
There was a nominations sweep at this year’s Razzies. Zoolander 2 got 9 nominations, followed closely behind by Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice with 8. Sorry, 1997’s Batman and Robin, it looks like you’re still the Batman movie with the most Razzie nominations. But don’t worry, there’s a chance that Batman movie written and directed by Ben Affleck could happen.
Jared Leto’s award dreams came true in the most Twilight Zone-y of ways. He’s not going to get the Oscar nomination he was no doubt sure he was going to get, but he did get a Worst Supporting Actor Razzie for Suicide Squad. And Julia Roberts’ performance as Lady Wearing a Bad Wig in Mother’s Day earned her a Worst Actress nomination. That wig didn’t get a Worst Supporting Actor nomination, because of course it didn’t; that wig worked its ass off and supported her like a load-bearing beam.
And Ben Affleck received his 10th Razzie nomination today. The big one-zero! He should go out and celebrate tonight for reaching a career milestone. Maybe his BFF Tom Brady will treat Ben to a steamed green bean and unseasoned fish dinner at his house.
The list of nominees is after the cut.
Suicide Squad was a neon-colored dried turd (strangely enough, I hear that a neon-colored dried turd is just one of the gifts that the King of Method Jared Leto gave to the cast), but it still made almost $750 million worldwide, and that doesn’t include the Mount Everest-sized pile of money it brought in from everyone’s Emo cousin buying merchandise like a pleather and gold-painted metal Puddin’ choker from Hot Topic. So because Suicide Squad was a hit in the money department, DC has hired its director and writer David Ayer to direct and produce a movie starring Harley Quinn, Catwoman and Poison Ivy. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to end with all of us rioting at DC’s offices after it’s announced that Gigi Hadid is playing Catwoman and Kylie Jenner is playing Poison Ivy? Although, those pics of Kylie taken by Uncle Terry did cover every inch of my skin with the itchies and caused my eyeballs to break out into a rash, so that wouldn’t be the weirdest casting decision.
“All those live rats and dead pigs and anal beads. All that method acting. And for what? You’re barely even on the poster. Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. The clown prince of mayhem wouldn’t cry.”
Even though I haven’t seen Suicide Squad, I’ve learned a couple things from it. One, that it was pretty crappy. And two, that The Joker wasn’t in it nearly as much as Suicide Squad’s aggressive marketing campaign lead us to believe. It was almost as though the higher ups in charge of Suicide Squad had tricked us into thinking it was all about The Joker. If you ask Jared Leto what he thinks about that, he’d agree.