Category: Step Away From The Coke Mirror

Lindsay Lohan Makes It So Easy

October 22, 2014 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan dropped her 2 cents two 8 balls into the presidential race in Brazil and if you’re wondering why an American mess who is now living in England suddenly cares about Brazilian politics, the answer is: cooooooooooke!

Out of nowhere, presidential candidate Aécio Neves got a bump of support from the First Lady of Train Wrecks when she tweeted (and later deleted) her official endorsement for him. Even though LiLo chopped up that tweet and snorted it up, it still turned into a full-on meme in Brazil. Aécio Neves loves to party and Buzzfeed says it’s rumored that coke has made its way up into his nostrils a few (or more than a few) times. He was also involved a coke ESCANDALO (Side note: Google Translate tell me escandalo is escandalo in Portuguese) when the federal police found 4.5 pounds of cocaine on a helicopter that was owned by his company and belonged to one of his political allies. So LiLo publicly supporting him is what meme dreams are made of.

A “source” close to LiLo tells TMZ that she’s showing support for Neves, because she takes several “business trips” to Brazil and one of her “good contacts” in the country thinks he should win over his opponent Dilma Rousseff.

Okay, but who is Glen Coco endorsing since I’m sure that’s the only endorsement the people of Brazil care about.

LiLo suddenly showing an interest in Brazilian politics when an ALLEGED fellow member of the White (As In Coke) Party runs for president is too perfect. Either she’s all out of clues or she’s secretly working for Dilma Rousseff and knows that an endorsement from her will kill Neves’ campaign. If that’s the case, well played, Team Rousseff.

Lindsay Lohan Won’t Let A Little Tag Like “Groupie” Stop Her From Stalking The Wanted

December 31, 2012 / Posted by:

We all know that Lindsay Lohan has no shame, no pride, and not one fuck to give (LIES!!! – Lindsay’s johns). We were all wondering why her broke ass stowed away on a plane to London as Jay Harvey reported yesterday (no we weren’t, but just go with it). So it’s no surprise that even after Max George from the Wanted called her a groupie, and even though she said her ass was staying home and baking cookies for New Year’s Eve, Crushable says they can guess why: to continue following the band around like a mangy kitchen ass fur wearing puppy dog. LiLo, the Unwanted. No, I’m sure she’s in London to entertain the royals at their request. HAHAAHAHA I crack myself up.

So much for impressing the judge in her probation violation case or club slap down case or whichever charge she’s facing this time by NOT partying like a rock star. Well, I guess the Wanted aren’t real rock stars, so it doesn’t count. She’s just partying like a blip on the music screen, so it’s okay. Plus, she consulted her Magic 8 Ball, asked it if Max really loved her, and it responded “HELL NO” so she took that as a maybe. Then she smoked it.

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