Starbucks recently announced that they’re going to be installing a blocker on their WiFi in all of their U.S. locations that will prevent you creepy types from jerking off near the clearance tea mugs, because their blocker will ban porn! Well, you always knew they were mind-controlling overpriced fascists, but now there’s proof. Forbes reports that, in response, the management over at porno tube tug site YouPorn has banned all Starbucks products from their offices. That’ll teach em’!
I’ve clearly been going to the wrong Starbucks each morning on my way to work. Starbucks is apparently have a problem with people ordering a Frappuccino with a side of the bareback vertical on Sean Cody because it was reported this week they’ll install a tool on its free WiFi network that will block illicit material from being looked at if you’re on their internet.
Even though the sun is still shining and the calendar clearly says “August”, Starbucks has gone ahead and made it officially fall by launching Pumpkin Spice Lattes earlier than usual. As of today, you can put on your legs in Uggs and leggings, and walk them down to your local Starbucks and ask for as many pumps of liquid gold as you can handle.
Good weaves may come and go, but a green straw to slurp down a Trenta Unicorn Frappuccino from Starbucks has been a major constant in the life of Britney Spears. But now Big Coffee is trying to take it away! What’s she supposed to do now? Huff her morning Frapp? Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Continue reading
If you always thought those lame-ass family vacations to Yosemite National Park would have been improved tenfold with a unicorn latte while gazing out at the granite cliffs of El Capitan, you’re in luck! Starbucks looks like it could be bringing its heathen cups to the national park and many aren’t happy. There’s now a petition to halt the first latte from getting poured. I guess Yosemite fans prefer a Dunkaccino? Continue reading